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The original was posted on /r/nosleep by /u/SaharaIsTheBest on 2026-07-27 12:32:54+00:00.

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I’m alive and I don’t know how. I should be dead. I wish I were after what I’ve seen and heard, but somebody’s gotta tell the world what happened even if the world won’t believe it.

It started with that damn UFO conspiracy podcast called Truth Nuke. I can’t remember when I started listening to it, but once I had, I couldn’t stop. I just really wanted to believe and the “Shepherd” as the host liked to style himself, would tell me whatever I wanted to hear. Things like the aliens are already among us and that the government is covering it all up. The usual bait for UFO nuts like me. But his last episode was a bit more than bait…

"Hello real world, or those of you still claiming to live in it. It's your good Shepherd here. As always I'm here to help keep you sheep away from the wolves. Welcome one and all to TRUTH NUKE!"

A dramatic bomb sound effect rattled the car’s speakers.

I was driving, which meant we had to listen to whatever I wanted and what I wanted was of course, Truth Nuke.

Jason tried to turn the volume down two notches. I turned it back up.

"Today's truth nuke is a big one. After years of cover-ups and close encounters, we are on the eve of first contact. NASA claims a signal picked up from across the galaxy is nothing but a dying star. Well… Dying stars don't speak."

Then the Shepherd played the signal and I can’t tell you how much I fucking loved this sound. I knew it wasn’t supposed to. It was supposed to sound scary and all that, but it made me feel excited. It came through the car’s crappy speakers like something between a frequency and a voice. It was oscillating, layered, and almost rhythmic. I could feel it in my molars.

“Encoded in this signal are coordinates that tell us where these aliens plan on landing once they arrive on planet earth. I’ve cracked the code, can you?”

I glanced over at Jason. The only thing he was cracking was his pipe. The sweet, skunky smell filled the car before we'd even hit the interstate.

"C'mon man, you got to smoke that right now?"

He exhaled slowly toward the cracked window. "Why not, let's get this weekend started early! Besides, it's just open road ahead of us, what's the worst that could happen."

"We're not going to a fucking party man! We're going to make history."

"I don't think failed hypotheses make the history books."

"The operative word is failed. And there's no failure to be had today. I guarantee that."

Jason gave me the look he always gives me. It’s one that's equal parts fond of me and completely exhausted by my bullshit. "C'mon man. Why are you so convinced that this is the alien landing zone? Oh shit! Maybe cuz you've actually been an alien all along. Would explain why you're so fucking weird sometimes."

"First of all, the weird one in this car right now is the man who brought a microwave to the woods."

“You brought a generator." Jason interjected.

"Secondly” I cracked on, “how can you not be excited about this? We are close to the moment of definitive proof we're not alone, that there's more to the universe than just us. Think about what we could learn from them, all that they could teach us."

"We're not doing so bad ourselves that we need their help."

I wanted to laugh. "Are you serious? The world's on fire, the economy's in the toilet, and we still don't have girlfriends! Hell no, we need their help ASAP."

Jason scoffed, "Speak for yourself. I don't need ET to get me a girlfriend."

"What if ET wants to be your girlfriend?"

He groaned at my joke. "Oh God. Now I know where your imagination is going with this."

"My imagination is that the aliens help level us up as a species."

"This isn't fucking Star Trek man, be real. If we want a roof over our heads after we graduate, we're gonna be designing missiles for the army or something. At best we're gonna be launching rockets for Billionaires, not working alongside aliens to build flying saucers."

"If money's all you think about, then how about this. We discover aliens, we reap the rewards. Any choice of research fellowship, grants! Fuck! We could even win a Nobel prize!"

Jason was quiet for a moment. Then said with a deep sigh, "I get it. That's all gonna happen in your mind, cause in your mind it's definitely aliens. But for me, this is likely just a relaxing weekend where I can get high in the peace of nature and stare at the stars, ok? If ET does show up and is DTF like you're hoping, I'll send them your way."

I let it go and turned up the volume of the signal. I swear it got louder as we drove deeper into the country, like it was getting stronger the closer we got. Maybe it was.

The coordinates took us off the highway, down a fire road, and into the woods as the afternoon light came sideways through the pines. We parked, popped the trunk, and started pulling out gear. I was running through the checklist in my head when Jason suddenly went still.

"Uh, Steve. I don't think we're the only ones here."

"Ha ha. Let me guess, the aliens are right behind me?" I said with a chuckle.

"Nah, man. I'm not joking. It looks like we're not the only crackpots out here this weekend."

I finally looked up. About a hundred yards through the trees, there was a camper. Parked crooked between two oaks, surrounded by what looked like antenna arrays, a tripod-mounted dish, and a folding table stacked with equipment. Someone had been here a while.

"That's not too shocking. The Truth Nuke has a lot of fans. Should we, uh, go say hi or something?"

"Not so fast. Random guy out here in the middle of nowhere. Could be trouble? Then again, we're out here. Sooner or later he's gonna notice us."

"IDENTIFY YOURSELVES ASSHOLES OR I WILL BLOW YOU OFF THE FACE OF THIS FUCKING EARTH!"

They had noticed us.

The voice came through a megaphone that was loud enough to send birds out of the treetops.

"Looks like we're gonna have to introduce ourselves," I said.

"We're friendly!" Jason called out.

"WHAT!? Get closer."

Jason looked at me. I looked at Jason. We walked toward the camper.

The man standing in front of it was built like someone who'd done a lot of push-ups and nothing else to stay in shape. He had tactical cargo pants, a faded army cap, and a ten thousand yard stare.

"Now," he said, lowering the megaphone. "Who're you motherfuckers and why are you out here?"

I spoke before Jason could. "We're just two postgrad students, here to do some camping."

He kept staring. I could see him working through something internally. "You two here about the aliens too, huh?"

I shot Jason a look. He rolled his eyes in the most restrained way possible.

"You listen to the Truth Nuke podcast too?" I asked.

"Oh fuck yeah I do. The Shepherd is my lord and savior... other than Jesus Christ of course."

"Of course," I agreed.

"What's your name?" Jason asked.

"Lonny."

I put out my hand. "It's nice to meet you, Lonny. I'm Steve and this is Jason. We came out here, just like you, to witness history today."

"Today?" Lonny shook his head. "More like tomorrow. You better sit the fuck down cause by The Shepherd’s newest calculations, aliens aren't gonna be here for another 13 hours or so."

"Wow, really?"

"Yup. That's even after factoring in light speed."

I felt something loosen in my chest. Thirteen hours. We had time. "Well, I guess we got time then to hang out."

"You guys wanna start a fire?"

"Sure, we're just gonna go back and grab some of our stuff first."

Lonny pointed two fingers at his eyes, then at us. "Be quick. I'm keeping my eyes on you two. I'm not convinced yet that you both aren't aliens."

Jason laughed. We both did,  assuming he was joking.

He wasn't joking.

We walked back to the car and Jason turned to me with an expression I'd been expecting since we left the apartment.

"Just our fucking luck."

"What do you mean? If he's here then we're at the right spot."

"Aliens come down and see that guy, they're gonna assume there's no intelligent life to be found on Earth."

"He seems a bit odd, I'll give you that."

"He seems like he might cut us open in our sleep to see if we're really human or not."

I didn't have a clean answer to that. "Well, let's hope that doesn't happen."

Jason was already rifling through the trunk. He came up with the tire iron and tucked it under his arm with a practiced casualness that suggested he'd already decided to hold onto it.

"We should have a safe word or something in case something does go wrong."

"Go wrong? What do you mean?"

"This guy snaps and shoots us both thinking we're alien spies or something."

I looked back toward the camper. Lonny had disappeared around the far side of it. "Ok, ok, I can see how you'd think that could happen so... how about... three rapid blinks."

"What, no, what if we're separated."

"I don't know. Shout a codeword or phrase?"

Jason was quiet for a second. "I'll tell you the stars are out when it's time to get the fuck out of dodge."

I looked up at the sky, still pale and wide open above the tree line. Full of stars we couldn't see yet.

"Sounds like a plan."

Lonny's campsite turned out to be better equipped than ours. He had a folding table, a mounted antenna, three separate coolers, and a gun rack. He set up near his fire pit while Jason and I established a polite distance and pitched our tent. We reconvened when Lonny called us over for a fire.

He was still suspicious about the coordinates.

"Why over there?" he asked. “Why not right here next to me.”

"It's where the GPS said the exact coor...

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