I understand. On a personal level I never hang on to my anger. I let everything go. I've been that way for 35 years.

But on a national level, we look at the state of the world and say "meh" and we say "they are just as bad as each other" and say "that's how it is" and so nothing ever gets any better because we don't demand enough from the people we elect to govern us and run our country.

We hand them ALL THIS POWER and then just let them behave like two year olds on smack and when they do shitty things we say "that's just wrong" then "well, they're just kids" and then wait until they do a bad thing again and say the same things again.

We should demand more of our elected representatives because they are not as bad as each other and when they do something wrong we should beat the crap out of them

I have two neices. Their mom and dad both said covid wasn't real or it was a government psyop or it was Obama's fault or whatever.

Then their mom died of covid. Their dad still doesn't think it's real.

I don't understand it. I got two jabs and wore a mask, and the worst thing that happened to my wife and I throughout the pandemic was a sore spot on our arm for a day. Neither of us has ever had covid, or we had such a mild case that we never noticed. And all we had to do was... take some really basic precautions.

It really pisses me off because I'm generally quite pro individual liberty, but just as your freedom to swing your arm ends a few centimeters in front of my nose, you have a responsibility to take reasonable precautions to prevent the spread of infectious disease.

Wearing a mask for 2 years was a reasonable request. Getting vaccinated was a reasonable request. Social distancing and limiting association during a pandemic was a reasonable request

It isn't about the external world though. You could live in an utopia, experience grief and loss, and be unable to feel happy or do the things you want to do for your whole life because of it.

Regardless of the condition of the world, you would suffer. Suffering is an internal, mental state.

I think it is best to try to reduce that suffering as an end in itself. But you could also think about it in terms of helping the suffering person achieve whatever it is that they want. No matter what it is they want to do, letting go of their attachment to their suffering will be beneficial. That includes changing the material conditions that caused the event in the first place. It is easier to do that if you aren't suffering.

Also, that is not to say they just "forget" and move on. It is simply that their relationship to the event that caused the suffering has changed. You can accept that the event occurred and that you suffered, but not allow it to cause you further suffering. That's easier said than done, but it is possible if someone wants to attempt it.

What do you do with anger you can't work through? When you are revictimized again and again because the world is the same crucible that cause that trauma in the first place and you can't heal unless the world changes?

Because that's what you're saying. You're saying that as a "defense mechanism" it's normal to let it go.

But that's not only not as easy as it sounds, it's also not as human and normal as you make it seem. Just because you find ways to manage that anger doesn't necessarily mean it goes away. We pretend that it does. We do that constantly. In the same way we pretend that grief and fear, and envy go away. They don't. People either internalize them and try to pretend they don't exist, or they channel them into something using that energy in a way that people find acceptable.

I have witnessed this. If you've ever been forced to sit through a presentation from MADD you've seen this in action.

I've lost a lot of people. Had a lot of bad shit happen to me in my life. I force a lot of stuff down to maintain. That doesn't mean those feelings go away and what normally happens as a result is they catch up with me one way or another over time.

I think you're delusional if you think therapy just fixes people and makes their traumas go away. It doesn't make them forget. That's not how that works. Time doesn't make you forget either. That's just something we tell ourselves and each other as a coping mechanism.

https://madd.org/

Sounds like they need a new therapist that isnt oxygen deprived by having their head so far up their own ass that its lodged in their small intestine.

This is like saying "Your anger is inappropriate, Yes your mother was murdered, and yes the killer is still out there killing, and yes a solid 1/3rd of people in the country are either actively cheering for the killer or refusing to acknowledge their existence depending on convenience to the discussion, thus resulting in your trauma and wounds being violently torn back open every. single. day. for. entire. fucking. years.. But thats obviously a you problem, and you need to deal with it and get over it"

but, you see, those basic precautions require having empathy and caring about other people.. and, sadly, the idea of America Exceptionalistic Individualism, has destroyed empathy and the ability to care for anyone outside of yourself in a disgustingly large swathe of the population.

Which is why they mock, deride, and laugh.. until it affects them, then, and ONLY then, must there be decorum and understanding.

He needs to emigrate

You a secret millionaire thats gonna start giving people the bags of money they need to be able to afford such a thing free of charge?

Most people are pretty stupid.

How can he still not think it's real ? what's even the reasoning ?

"iT wAs JuSt PnEuMoNiA!"

... pneumonia caused by... a respiratory infection called... COVID-19!

I'd say we're in a far worse position if we were to get a COVID-26 after everyone started openly embracing anti-science and anti-empathy thanks to the MAHA/MAGA folks.

I agree with you but I'm chuckling at all the anger you're getting over this comment. Should've seen that one coming!

There’s a pedophile rapist running my country. I’m going to stay pissed about that shit.

I get a lot of fuel through anger. I wouldn’t have my life without it. It’s ignorant that you think all humans need to let go of anger. No. I’d be working some shit corporate career if I buried my anger.

See now I am angry for this person.

And that seems pretty reasonable.

No therapy doesn't "just fix" people, it helps them process what they've gone through in a healthy way.

I more or less did expect it... a lot of people here are extremely angry and want to hang onto that.

Just in case you're missing the reference

I'm less angry at some individuals because they got mask fatigue after a while.

I'm still pissed that people continue to pretend it was nothing, though.

I had a lot of fun when people would hassle me about the mask. Id say it was to hide my face from the HillaryObamaSoros facial recognition cameras, and that they were free to give their face away if they wanted.

It helps if you can figure out how to get through the propoganda to talk to people. Directly pointing out how fucking stupid they are won't work. But making it look silly to their eyes does work. I've recently been able to convince some people in my red state that solar panels are a way to make power that is independent of oil, coal, amd nuclear. That if they get solar panels they will cheat the power company out of their money.

The best part is pointing out that I can't make a gallon of gasoline, but I can make a kilowatt-hour of electricity with things I have lying around my house and charge my car.

I'm really not sure. He has had covid. I do know that his children have both mentally browbeat him to either get him to accept reality, or shut the fuck up.

Yeah society start to make people feel angry.

We have to re-normalize anger against injustice.

Anger is pathologized primarilybecause our entire economic and social order is built of pure, unadulterated injustice, and if you're allowed to be angry at injustices, the entire system might collapse.

Anyone trivializing or pathologizing anger is spreading the propaganda of the ruling class whether they mean to or not.

I feel increasingly lost in a world that says it's bad to feel angry, depressed, and anxious all the time when those seem to be perfectly reasonable reactions to things going on around us. To me, it feels less sane to be upbeat and positive.

I mean it's like certainly going to happen again, in a few years -- it insane they didn't triple whatever budget the CDC had in my opinion but yeah these people would rather die than see their favorite party lose an election. Look up Dying of Whiteness, it's literally all a big death cult.

Oh im sorry i didn't realize i can only recommend things that don't cost money

We have to accept that just like any other medical procedure, sometimes therapy isn't successful, or does not work out the way that we want or expect. Complications exist, and even if they didn't, people aren't a monolith. Nobody responds to therapy the exact same way.

So, I'll ask the question. What does working through this in a healthy way look like?

People don't care about anything that doesn't affect them personally. They never have and they never will.

They will laugh and spit in the face of those who have been affected without realizing it. This is a clown universe.

One where you channel the anger into positive change. For some that's volunteering and doing something to help the cause they're so angry about, for others it may be working hard to emigrate to a different country that doesn't embrace disease as a virtue. That's where the therapist can help, not by invalidating the patient's feeling, which everyone should learn in psychology 101.

No, it's absolutely normal. What's not normal is being OK with the chomo-in-chief destroying the people of this country.

Anger isn't a choice in this case, it's like telling someone they should just stop bleeding after being stabbed, after all they're gonna suffer a lot more if they don't stop bleeding.

This isn’t anger it’s resentment. Resentment is a poison pill that you swallow, hoping it harms your enemy. The only way through is to forgive. Or you can carry it around the rest of your life, if that feels right for you. Revenge isn’t going to bring your mother back. If you want to be at peace, make peace with it.

I almost died from COVID and now everytime someone talks like that I want the next thing to come out of their mouths be teeth.

There's an even better way through it. Fight back. Use it as motivation to change a broken system. Kick the idiots out of power, and make sure this can never happen again. Make Mom's sacrifice mean something.

This. I'm tired of pathologizing "uncomfortable" reactions. It is appropriate to have resentment over what they described. But also - none of the remedies they say they want are actually vengeful? Oh no - they want a stronger CDC, and a monument to those lost and some opportunity for societal-level grieving.

The person who posted this isn't dealing with this poorly. They are pointing out that our society dealt with this disaster poorly, diving head-first into violent denial. And that our response as a society is continuously re-traumatizing them as someone who lost their mother.

We are all in the madhouse created by Fox News, fascists, megalomaniacal billionaires and white nationalists. Maybe being told this is a personal mental health problem is a problem and worth criticizing.

What happens when people let go of their suffering is that they let go of any real drive to do anything about it. I have known people that have suffered and through counseling have bettered their life. But the thing that caused their suffering? Unaffected. Unchanged. And if not forgotten, ignored or some small pittance of virtue signaling that they care about it. Our society is so unbelievably shit at solving problems. We only ever sweep them under the rug.

Economic crash? Bailout

People hit by cars while walking on the road because there is not sidewalk? They shouldn't walk on the road, idiots. Forgotten

Wealth disparity? Ooh look! Another subscription to an app I use once a month.

People don't even attribute the suffering to its actual cause most of the time.

If we want to change things, you need the impetus of extreme emotion to really get shit done. If you have relieved yourself of the suffering, of the anger or grief or fear of something, how could you care about it? How could you possibly claim to care about it to the same degree?

People only want to be comfortable. They don't want to make the world better, as long as they are comfortable in their own little heads.

My dad died of COVID in 2021 after being in the hospital for a month, including a ventilator and a medically induced coma. I'm still mad when people deny COVID matters. I'm still wicked upset when someone asks me "but did he die of COVID or with COVID?" (technically, he died when he was removed from life support, so it wasn't COVID that killed him it was the lack of being able to breath. You got me there.)

Also, yes, he had underlying health conditions. He was 62. He was doing everything right---staying home, wearing a mask when he went for drive up groceries, waiting for vaccines to become available. The only way he screwed up was trusting his wife. His wife put her job above her husband's safety and went to a mandatory unmasked work pot luck breakfast in December 2020. It couldn't have been too mandatory---she retired 2 months later after my dad died.

It all goes into the background for normal day to day, but then something triggers it. And yes, I have a therapist. And yes, I'm still upset at the person that chided his wife that my dad's "mask didn't help him" while he was busy dying in the hospital.

There's a lot of trauma wrapped up in that whole experience. It's mostly scabbed over, but sometimes something picks at it, which doesn't help the healing.

Same. The amount of people smirking at me, and looking at me like Im crazy is hard to deal with. We finally felt like maybe it was time to unmask, and for a day or so it was going well, until I caught covid and gave it to my partner. It was absolutely terrible. We're up to date on boosters, and it still took us down for a week with razor throat, coughing, headache, laziness. After the first week, we were still coughing for 2 weeks after. We are back to wearing masks. This disease would literally be over and done if everyone just vaccinated and wore masks for a few months. Instead they still want a way to kill grandma. I have a co-worker who is serially deathly ill because of her grandkids. This is just a terrible timeline.

Yeah, any rational person in charge of public policy post-CoViD would say, "Oh wow, we could've done that much better; let's shift how we're doing things."

But as usual, MAGA doubled down for propaganda purposes.

I have no idea who this person is, but I'm pretty sure they should be in charge of things...

require having empathy and caring about other people

Sure, but they also require that you believe what you're seeing on the news.

I have empathy and care about other people. But, my mom is a conspiracy nut. She goes on rants about chemtrails, or the dangers of fluoride, or 5G, or nanoparticles. I want what's best for her, and I sympathize with her, but I don't believe any of these things are true. So, if she tells me I should change my behaviour because of these conspiracies, I'm not going to do it. The fact I continue to use WiFi doesn't mean I lack empathy or don't care about other people, it means that I don't think her conspiracy theories are correct.

My mother is (more or less) a person who cares about other people, but she wouldn't put on a mask during COVID because she didn't believe that it was a real disease, and didn't believe that masks worked, and she also did believe conspiracies that masks were dangerous to wear.

My mother thinks that the mainstream press can't be trusted about anything. Unfortunately, the people she believes are telling the truth are essentially anonymous accounts on some conspiracy forum. Many of them get their news from Newsmax or Infowars or the KGB.

I think the mainstream press can be trusted about many things, but that they're also in bed with big business and will often uncritically just report what a lot of big companies say without challenging it.

So, when the mainstream press says there's a pandemic and that we need to adopt certain behaviours to avoid it spreading, I believe it and want to do those things, my mother doesn't. But, when the press says that OpenAI has a new model that's on the verge of being sentient, that broke out of its containment and hacked another site, I think that's an absolute bullshit way of framing what happened.

It really comes down to how the US has slowly allowed the rich to take control and to warp everything to benefit themselves. Schools are not funded properly, and kids graduate without critical thinking skills. Media is captive to the wealthy interests, and at best is sensationalist and shallow, with talking heads yelling at each-other, or showing helicopter-shots of car chases. At worst, it's outright lies and propaganda favouring one party or one special interest group. And, because the US is such a big force in the world, and such a big source of media, this affects the whole world.

If people can't agree on a shared set of facts about the world, they can't make rational decisions. So, someone not wearing a mask might mean they lack empathy, or it might mean that they don't believe the news about COVID, or it might mean that they think the story of a major CHEMTRAIL attack that was leaked on the conspiracy forum wasn't actually real.

Probably looks a lot like this:

https://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1917/staterev/

Yes. Maybe the anger is justified, but is it helpful?

Being furious all the time is really hard on your body. It's hard on your relationships with other people.

Anger is useful in a fight where it can be used to overcome fear and ignore pain. But, it's hard to go to bed and get a good night's rest if you're still seething with anger.

Maybe, sometimes, anger can be a good thing in the long term if you want to maintain the energy needed to get a law changed or something. That's not something that happens overnight, and it's easy to get discouraged. But, you need to be able to balance that with being able to sleep properly, to socialize, to perform well enough at your job so you don't get fired and don't end up homeless.

If you just want to be angry, then stop wasting the therapist's time, and wasting your own money.

Your friend's parents must be weird.

If you aren't "extremely angry" most of the time you're either not paying attention or you're part of the problem.

I don't know where you live, but in the US, we've already got someone in charge who is constantly bitter, angry, and posting unhinged rants on the Internet.

Anger itself isn't a choice, but it's a choice to just sit in your anger for the rest of your life, growing bitter and resentful and never healing, which seems to be what is advocated as normal in the screenshot.

The screenshot doesn't mention Trump at all. Feel free to be angry at Trump.

I certainly don't disagree, but the OP's screenshot shows people expressing the idea that psychologists are wrong to "pathologise anger" (which I read as "to think that anger normally subsides several years after the initial event, and to want to take steps to reduce it").

I don't know what "this" is in your question, but I don't think I will be able to answer it usefully regardless of what you mean.

Sounds to me like the therapist is part of the "it's not real" crowd