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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2026-08-02 04:02:10+00:00.

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I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Ok-Run2877

Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole

AITA for telling my SIL that her opinion isn’t more important than mine?

Thanks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU

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Original Post: April 11, 2026

so a bit of context, I (24F) am getting married in September. I love that month since it’s kinda between summer-fall ish. anyway, my fiancée (29M) proposed to me last December, on my birthday.

I’ve met his family countless of times, my future MIL, FIL and SIL. they are all very cordial and friendly.

well this mess started when I began organizing my wedding, which is very tedious but really exciting. we hired a wedding planner to see how we could mix our tastes and hobbies. he’s a bit of a data-computer nerd in coding, I call him my little hacker, and he LOVES the matrix movie which I still haven’t seen. anyway, we wanted to add little quirks whenever we could. maybe some comp numbers and some matrix references hidden in between our wedding invitations decorations. I am a fan of breaking bad, a nerd when it comes to the Oscar race movies since I was little and Ariana grande (I know). it’s been SO fun to see how we can mix it all together.

well, last week, I invited over my mom, my future MIL, SIL and both of my sisters to our 3rd wedding planner meeting. they saw all we had done and found it cute. I made sure that those little things were hidden well enough to not be seen quickly, but could be pointed out.

my SIL out of nowhere says that we should cut it, that it’s too “tacky”. my fiancé explains that we had both discussed it and loved the idea. she doubles down and says we should be “more classy”. girl, I looked at her said that these clues were not only hidden but would only appear on our wedding invitations.

she looked at me so crazy. like, she couldn’t believe I said that. she said she was just looking out for me. she went on to say that we shouldn’t have chocolate cake, it should be strawberry. how my dress shouldn’t be princess cut since it’s too 80s. how I should dye my hair brunette because it fits my face. at some point it started sounding like orders

I looked at her and said well… everything you just said I should change, I really like, so it’s staying. period.

I think it would’ve been better if I had cursed her out. she didn’t speak again but by the end of the meeting she pulled my partner aside and according to him, demanded that I “respected” her more and her opinions, since her dream has always been to plan a wedding and I would be her future sister, so I should not “place her aside”.

what? I mean, maybe? she’s like super offended right now, and my partner suggested that I should maybe apologize. at first I was like there’s NO WAY I will but I’m prone to act a little immature, and I wondered if I actually went too far

update: so… update. as we were having breakfast I told him that it didn’t feel great how he told me I should apologize over setting boundaries on our wedding. he said he understood and his sister was definitely in the wrong, but that she’s too “sensitive” and can take things very badly. he said he could talk to her if I didn’t want to, but I’ll have the rest of my life dealing with her, so I just thought… I need to learn how to handle her this early lol

so yes, I call her, and I begin by asking how she was. I kid you not she immediately responded with “I thought you called me to apologize.” girl excuse me? I fully said “well, no. I’m calling to thank you for your suggestions but I’m sticking with what I chose.”

bruh. hell. it was giving temper tantrum. she said, “I’m only trying to help, it’s like stopping a future car crash, you know?” 😐 I hang up.

I told my fiancée and he agreed what she said was messed up. she began calling him non-stop which I think is crazy, but he’s ignoring her.

her text messages to HIM are like “what did she tell you?” “are you ignoring me?” “she got the wrong idea” “I’m your sister” (?)

😭😭.

Verdict: Not the Asshole

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: Apologize for what? Not letting her take over your wedding?

Ask him if she's always trying to take over things, or if this is targeted at you.

NTA

OOP: it’s just super weird because even when she suggested I should dye my hair she said I should use the same box dye she uses

Commenter 2: Look, on topic, NTA and your fiancé needs to tell her this wedding is for you guys, and you’ll have it how you like. Repeat as needed, she’s being insane.

Side topic, how can someone who is into movies and, based on your post history, at least open to science fiction not have seen the Matrix, your fiancés favourite film? Why haven’t you watched it?

OOP: everyone keeps asking why I haven’t watched the matrix, and I get it, but part of our dynamic is kinda… that. he’s like a young millennial and I’m more of an older gen z… our tastes are a bit different and he’s much more reserved than me, but I like that.

to answer your question, after some time of making plans of watching them, we promised each other at our honeymoon:

1. I would watch all matrix movies or prequels or whatever they are with him

2. he would listen to all of Ariana Grande’s albums and watch 2022 best picture winner everything everywhere all at once with me + 2020 best picture winner parasite

Downvoted Commenter: nTA but she has a point! It does sound super tacky tbh!

OOP: yeah kinda but also if I want to place Ariana grande dressed as the guy of the matrix hacking into a computer while holding an Oscar maybe I will.

Commenter 3: INFO: How old is SIL?

NTA but I really am super curious like is she 12?

OOP: She's 27.

Commenter 4: YTA for inviting all these people to something like this that has nothing to do with them. Either don’t invite them or set a rule next time that they're there out of courtesy and for support, not for actual input. Lol, NTA. Also, if/when you have children, don’t announce any baby names before baby is born or ask for opinions. It’s a slippery slope.

Also SIL can eat rocks

Commenter 5:

YTA for inviting all these people to something like this that has nothing to do with them.

Damn, I guess OP shouldn't invite them to the wedding then either

OOP: I just wanted to show off our ideas

Additional Comment from OOP

OOP: you guys are right. I’ll talk to my fiancé and SIL tomorrow and put some boundaries and ask why he isn’t putting me first since it is our wedding, not hers. kinda scared asf but… we move 😔

Update: July 26, 2026

UPDATE: AITA for telling my SIL that her opinion isn’t more important than mine?

so it’s been some months since I decided to post what my sister in law said as I was trying to make sense of my wedding. not sure how to link my OG post, sorry! EDIT: here it is! https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/xqwtVSeQcO.

it got to a point where I understood how she moved and acted through my fiancée’s fam, and I haven’t been able to update since wedding planning ain’t for the weak!

but yes, she tried to call my brother for days after telling me that her opinion on my wedding was like ‘trying to prevent a car crash’. I took some advice from my post and literally just kept it moving.

well at one point, probably a week after, my MIL came over to my house not to have a conversation with him or us, but with me. she told me my future SIL always had an “attention” problem, and while exhausting, she never means to hurt or insult anyone. I told her I understood, but that either she could stop nagging me about our preferences for the wedding, or I could no longer bring her in for the preparations.

she agreed to talk to her. fast forward to the next day by like 5:30pm. now, she was dming me on Instagram like a madwoman. telling me I was being a “bitch” over an opinion she gave when I invited her over to see my wedding planner, that I could not understand the bond she had with her brother, how she prays he will divorce me by next year so he can be "himself" again…. I blocked her.

I talked to my fiancé, I put it all on the table, I even grabbed some phrases I saw in response over my original post. I told him I could no longer keep it going this way. either she stops trying to insult me and our wedding, or she’s not getting invited.

after some talking, he agreed. he called his sister and explained. she exploded at first. calling me a wicked witch, and how I "changed" him. girl…

after some days though, she actually apologized to me through Instagram after I unblocked her since she texted my fiancé she wanted to 'make peace' and I accepted it. she hasn’t really said anything after that, and while I still don’t know if she’s planning to say something more in the future, I think everything will go smoothly in September. Oscars/matrix/Ariana indeed had a small cameo on my invitations! and yes, I finally saw all matrix movies with my fiancée. they’re very interesting.

Relevant / Top Comments

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Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1vd7q3g/aita_for_telling_my_sil_that_her_opinion_isnt/

Relevant / Top Comments

Commenter 1: Ohhh with that level of entitlement I fear she might do something at the wedding like spoil your dress or say some bullshit and make it about her. If you have bridesmaids, keep some of them on duty to keep an eye on her and if they see any bullshit then to make sure to bring it to u and your husband right then and there.

OOP: after seeing the comments I’m definitely more concerned 😟… I really hope she meant the apology she sent me. I’ll take steps to be more careful around my wedding tho

Commenter 2: Good for you for sticking your ground and not backing down. However, you glossed over the most important part of the story: which Matrix was your favorite (and we're you subjected to the fourth film or just the original trilogy + Animatrix)?

OOP: The Matrix -> one of the greatest films I’ve ever seen

Animatrix -> incredibly good

The Matrix Reloaded -> overall okay, a little tiring

The Matrix Revolutions -> I didn’t get a lot of things, and it felt a little messy

The Matrix Resurrections -> I think it had an interesting concept

my matrix opinion started going down as I watched more and more. still, I remember looking at my fiancée when the first one ended and being like “ok, I get it. this is amazing.”

Commenter 3: Good luck at the wedding, when she makes a scene or ruins it. You should rescind the invitation, and make sure she has no access to the venue.

Commenter 4: Why are there so many people involved in your wedding planning?? Inviting parents and in laws for wedding prep meetings is wild. Is this a cultural thing?

Still NTA but good luck to you. Your in laws are never for you to deal with, they're for your fiancé to deal with. I'm glad it looks like he's growing a spine to shut his sister's nonsense down.

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Naaa id tell sil thanks for your opinion but your here to help make the most of my vision. Can't do that then you cant help.