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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2026-08-03 04:00:08+00:00.

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I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/A_Symptom_of_Life

Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole

AITA For not helping a student of mine after he 'stole' my customer?

Trigger Warnings: entitlement

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Original Post: July 23, 2026

I am an artist who makes and teaches students how to make stained glass windows.

One of my students found out that I was about to start a window for a couple that he now knows through another friend and then convinced the couple to drop me and go with him to make the window. I had already drawn a 1/4 size sketch to see if it was something the customer wanted and now my student expects me to draw it out full sized and actually help him make it. It's too large to work on in class -- we have always had a maximum size limitation that this almost doubles. Working on a window this size would displace another student. Also, I'm supposed to store the window week to week, so he won't have to lug it back and forth from home since it's so large.

AITA for telling him that it can't be worked on in the shop and that I am not drawing a full size pattern (57 x 34) for him? I told him he could have a copy of the sketch. Win or lose I plan on showing him this.

Verdict: Not the Asshole

Relevant / Top Comments

OOP responds to a comment on what the student has said after OOP saying no

OOP: I will show him all of this on Monday when I see him and post an update. I am NOT going to allow it, never planned to, but what I am changing is my giving him the rough drawing. In all honesty it wouldn't help him much at all, but you are all correct-- why help him at all. It will be interesting to see what the customers do when my students tells them that they can't do the window.

Commenter 1: NTA. Does he even have the ability to deliver without using your resources?

Commenter 2: NTA and I would not be helping him, you don't bite the hand that feeds you and he needs a lesson in commercial reality!

Commenter 3: NTA, but do not give him the sketch you drew. Maybe offer to sell it to him, at a premium price (but I would not even do that). It is not a project for his teaching, so he should not be able to work on it, or store, it in the shop. And do not help him with making the project, no matter how much he asks you.

Commenter 4: NTA, but why on earth would you help him by giving him a copy of the work you already did and aren't ever going to be paid for?

Homie can figure all of it out for his damn self. If he didn't have a plan, he shouldn't have poached the work.

editor's note: OOP updated in the same original post

Update: July 27, 2026 (four days later)

UPDATE: So I just had class with the student, and he was sure he was going to work on this oversized window that he didn't have a pattern for. I honestly couldn't believe that he hadn't at least texted me about it during the week, but I guess that says something on its own about him. He walked in the door a half hour early and before he could say anything I flat out told him that he could not make the window in my class but that he was free to do it on his own because (as he knows) I had been told to hold off on the job.

I had already told him last week that he couldn't work on a window that size in class, but he more or less refused to 'hear' me. Still, I made it perfectly clear and although I wasn't actually going to show him the replies here he got so adamant about it being my job to help him that I ended up showing him some of them.

First off, he feels that I made him look bad because he hadn't actively pursue the job himself -- he was referred to the couple by a common friend that they had. I said that I did mention that, but he feels that I didn't stress it enough. I went over the size limitation again and the fact that the only thing that the customer and I had agreed upon was a price and an (extremely rough) sketch of an idea that took me all of 15 minutes to make. I explained that I certainly wasn't about to spend any more time on fleshing the sketch out after I was informed by the couple that I should hold off on the design. It was 2 days after this fact (last Monday) that Ray informed me that he was taking over the job which left me sorta tongue tied. Still, I explained to him very politely that I couldn't allow him to work on this commission in my class in my studio.

When I mentioned tonight that the sketch was out of the question he got angry and still doesn't understand why I won't help him or allow him to make the window in my shop. As others were filtering in he started getting louder and caused a bit of a scene. I have drawn patterns for him in the past, but he can't understand why I won't help him on this. He says that I'll make more money from him if he makes the window, but I certainly won't because I he's never going to be able to do this on his own. If anything, I'm saving the customer from a pitiful window.

So the other students ended up hearing exactly what was going on (it's a one room class) and although two of them stayed quiet the others told him that he was being ridiculous. The woman on the same table as him asked where she was supposed to do while he was using the entire table for himself. He didn't answer. I kept my cool, but I have to admit that at times I was getting a bit loud and then I'd catch myself. So yeah, he turned around and walked out.

This was his last class of the month and I'm not going to allow someone who doesn't see how wrong a thing they did to come back into my class. I just wonder what the customer will do.

All in all I'm 100% fine with things as they stand and I want to thank everyone here. I never expected it to blow up like this and to be honest, if I hadn't posted the original question I'd definitely would have given him the sketch, so thanks again.

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