Link: https://disreport.com/articles/b7gxp7qe/china-announces-entire-planet-now-subject-to-chinese-law

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President Xi Jinping reportedly announced that the People’s Republic of China has officially expanded its legal jurisdiction to include “everywhere.”

Standing behind a podium while visibly sweating through his suit, waving both arms with increasing urgency and periodically pointing at a globe, Xi declared that every person on Earth is now expected to obey Chinese law regardless of where they live, what citizenship they hold, or whether they have ever been to China.

“You are in China now!” Xi shouted, pointing at a reporter from Brazil. “You too!” he continued, gesturing toward a Canadian journalist. “Especially you!” he added after noticing someone quietly taking notes.

Officials later clarified that while the borders of China remain unchanged, the definition of “inside China” has been updated to include “all locations where someone might someday have an opinion.”

The announcement follows new legal authorities allowing China to pursue people outside its borders for conduct it considers harmful to national unity or state interests.

Chinese state media celebrated the policy as “the natural next step in international cooperation.”

“The world has always suffered from one major problem,” said one government spokesperson. “Too many countries.”

Foreign governments were reportedly informed that their own legal systems would continue operating “on a trial basis” until China had reviewed them.

[...]

Don't threaten me with a good time.

Oh yay no more CDU

I wonder who they stole that idea from

All jokes aside, at this point, this could actually help salvage our civilisation…

This is an AI slop rag and should have the ai label, thanks!