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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2026-08-04 04:02:09+00:00.

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I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/No_Process_1558

Originally posted to r/amiwrong

Am I wrong for punching my "stepfather" after he opened and drank a bottle of scotch my dad got me to share on my 21st birthday?

Thanks to u/soayherder & u/BakingGiraffeBakes for suggesting this BoRU

Trigger Warnings: neglect, physical assault, destruction of property

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Original Post: July 24, 2026

My father passed away eight years ago, mom remarried 5 years ago. I will admit I never tried to blend with him or my step siblings. I was happy for mom, but tbh would have preferred had it remained just the two of us.

I am 19, I live at home since I am going to college locally. My father had a bottle of scotch he bought when I was born, it was kept in a cabinet down in our basement, it was my dad's area.

I do not know why I never moved it, I figured it would be safe and not touched, and for many years it was. I don't know why he felt the need to open it but he did.

I admit I lost my cool and I did punch him, but he has never touched anything down on that side if the basement, yet he suddenly forgets and goes for the one he knew meant everything to me.

My mom is upset cause he did call the police, and it appears he wants to put a restraining order against me. Cops took the report, asked me some questions and left it at that. This happened around five hours ago.

Here to vent and maybe have my eyes opened. My mom wants me to apologize, but I don't feel bad. It actually felt good felt like I got some level of control.

He was not a bad guy per se I guess, but he also always tried so hard and after my half siblings were born I was pretty much forgotten. Raising twins is not easy, and with me being so close to 18 when they were born I guess they figured I was okay.

Maybe I am just being a little asshole idk.

Edit: They are my half siblings not step, sorry.

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: You’re not wrong but context matters between it being an honest mistake or a deliberate act.

Did he know the significance of the bottle and was it kept in a special location?

I once did something similar on accident because I didn’t know.

OOP: He claims he did not know, but he has not touched anything in that corner ever, and he has lived with us for years. He knows how important that corner is to me.

Commenter 2: Did he do it knowingly or did he not know it was given to you by your father?

OOP: He may not have known that particular bottle had importance but has never touched anything in that corner of the basement he knows that is my father's corner. He has never touched anything in that corner for years. Why did he suddenly feel the urge to touch and open stuff now.

He could have bought his own booze. My mom and him claim it was an honest mistake. I am having a hard time believing that. Go years without touching but suddenly want to touch and drink stuff?

Commenter 3: Eh, violence isn't the answer. That being said, everyone who's asking if they knew your dad gave that to you- it doesn't matter. The scotch was in the basement, untouched and quite obviously not his. He knew he didn't buy it. He knew he didn't put it there. For whatever reason, he felt entitled to something that was not his. If he's been around for 5 years I'm also sure he knew about the meaning behind the bottle.

OOP: This is what gets me when my mom and him claim it as an honest mistake. He knows how much that corner means to me. Why not just buy some alcohol or something, why purposely go through my dad's stuff. I don't drink but doubt stuff sitting around for 19 years tastes all that great either.

Commenter 4: You’re not wrong, that was a hurtful thing to do by your stepdad, although you did react in the moment in a way that was not great.

Him calling the police, and demanding a restraining order is completely OTT. Where is your mum in all of this?

He’s taken something that was precious to you in tragic circumstances, a consequence of which was he got his bell rung.

Everyone needs to use their words now, in a calm and respectful manner. Your mum needs to step up/ in and mediate this. Stepdad needs to be made to understand what is and isn’t appropriate when it comes to items your dad left behind and respectful of your feelings about him.

And you need to apologise for putting hands on him. But you were not wrong for having strong feelings about him ruining a treasured memento.

OOP: My mom wants me to apologize, she is on his side. She claims it was an honest mistake. I don't buy that because he has never touched my dad's stuff in that corner of the basement. He had no reason to touch anything in that corner.

Commenter 5: He wants you out of his life. Yes he did it on purpose. Do you have anywhere to stay on your dad's side of the family. Also if I were you I would double check the will he left because if he left you half of the house then. He needs to move out not you

OOP: Not where I am going to school. Go to Texas A&M, my dad's side of the family is from NY.

Editor's note: OOP updated onto the original post to provide more context

Small Update: July 24, 2026 (same post, over nine hours later)

Update: My stepfather is going through the process for the order, mom said she was taking him to the notary. She asked me to apologize so we can smooth things over, I told her I would only apologize if he could tell me why after all these years he decided to go touch and drink an entire bottle of scotch in a single sitting?

My dad was a drinker and even he did not do that. My mom said i have no right to make demands of him.

It seems some think it was just forgotten about, it was not I turned a small corner of our basement many years ago into my dad's spot. I have his urn with other odds and ends, like his sports memorabilia, favorite drinking glass, his shot glass collection, and his liquor cabinet, with his chair that was in the living room. Now did he know the significance of said bottle? Maybe not, I don't talk to him much. Mom 100% knew. Thing is that should not have mattered, he knew the significance of the corner, why was he touching anything in said corner is beyond me. Also this bottle was in a neat wooden box, I don't drink if you are looking to drink do you honestly go for the one in the box? Or would you go for the unopened ones?

I will look into the value, i know the name was Macallan Sherry Oak 30.

This was the first time I ever threw a punch before, never been in a fight before. I don't think i have anger issues, I just lost it because my dad has slowly been forgotten. Mom use to wear his and her wedding bands as a necklace but about three years ago she stopped, we use to go out and get Blue Bell Ice cream together. We stopped doing that after the twins were born. Pretty much everything changed after the twins were born.

I lost my cool cause it felt like another piece of my dad was cast aside. She even let's my stepfather have his restore super sport, which technically was supposed to be mine but because my dad had a standard will he left everything to mom.

I reached out to my uncle, and he is going to fly down on Monday so we can all sit down and talk.

As it stands it seems like he is going forth with the order, my uncle does not think he will be able to get an emergency order for this situation, so he hopes on Monday we can come to some agreement.

Update: July 27, 2026 (three days later)

Update regarding my stepfather drinking a bottle of scotch left to me by my dad.

Thanks for all the feedback, and a update as promised. My uncle and I spoke with my mom and stepfather. First my uncle called bullshit on my stepfather and said he has been drinking it overtime. He did ask what was his endgame, refill it with something cheaper?

My stepfather did not say anything. He also told my mom off. He said my stepfather may have an excuse albeit a shitty one but still an excuse. He told her that she had no excuse, she knew what my dad's intentions were for the bottle and for the car. He said he told my brother he should list what he wanted me to have in the will, but told her he said it would be fine cause he trusted my mom with his life.

He also questioned why I was paying for school when my apparently my father had a sizeable life insurance policy. Which I was unaware of but also tracks cause my mom has never actually gone to work.

Either way, I probably don't have much claim to that either, at that point I simply asked for my dad's car and the key to his storage unit. She and my stepfather can keep everything else.

So that was the conversation, was pretty much my uncle going at them and them just listening. My uncle asked me again to move in with him and suggested i take a semester off or a year and travel with him. He said he would help me with school.

Told me some stories it seems my mom and my dad's side of the family did not get along which is why ...

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Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1vezloc/am_i_wrong_for_punching_my_stepfather_after_he/

Told me some stories it seems my mom and my dad's side of the family did not get along which is why we moved to Texas where my mom is from.

Either way I am okay with everything, oddly enough I do not hate or even feel angry with my mom, just numb I guess. I hope with time maybe we can fix that, but for now going to avoid contact with her and them altogether.

Staying with my uncle at a hotel and we will start packing. He is going to have the car transported to NY. I lost the booze, but I did get back the car which is better anyways if I am being honest.

My uncle said not to worry about the order of protection if he gets one, if push comes to shove he will hire an attorney for me.

So yeah, not a bad outcome. I wish I knew why, but yeah. Still don't know why he drank it.

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: So glad you have your uncle. I hope your mom feels horrible. She put a man and her new family before her own son and your father's wishes. Maybe this will wake her up and she can see what a horrible mother she has been to you. Again, so happy your uncle had your back and called them out.

OOP: My uncle was going to try and be a peacekeeper but after I told him I was paying for school, he was beyond upset.

He told me beforehand not to worry about anything let them have it outside the car and his storage unit. Everything else can be replaced.

Commenter 2: I’m glad you have your uncle. It sounds like the best possible outcome at this point and I’m glad he swooped in like he did to read them the riot act. Still not what you deserve. You deserve a mom who doesn’t prioritize some dick over of her child. Thank you for updating though - strange to say, I was worried about you. I lost my dad at 12. It’s hard. Wishing you truly all the best!

Edit to add: I’m not saying you are a child age-wise, in case that wasn’t clear! Just that she is supposed to put you first!

OOP: Thanks I do appreciate it, yeah losing a parent at any age is rough, I was 6 when my grandpa passed and remember that was the only time I ever saw my dad cry. It hit him hard, which is also why I sm glad I got the car back. My uncle told me my grandpa had the same car.

What kind of car did OOP's dad own?

OOP: 1969 Camaro SS.

Commenter 3: Is your uncle based in NYC? (Anywhere in the five boros or even Long Island.) I ask because if you move in with him, even on paper by having some mail sent to his address, you could get NY residency and qualify for in-state tuition at a CUNY school, which is pretty much the best "affordable" (genuinely) education you can get in this country. They also make the transfer process really easy. So if paying for school is a concern, that might be a pathway that doesn't hurt you or your uncle too badly.

OOP: He lives in Rochester, but he said he would help me get an apartment if I want to be closer to the city. I will keep this in mind.

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Mom is being scummy as f. We'll she got what she wanted to be free of her son.