RetroFed Forum
Your home away from modern life.
For the third time in history, women outnumber men in the workforce as the stay-at-home boyfriend becomes an economic trend
Post Reply
AuthorMessage
velma sh.itjust.works velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
Quote

“There has been more of a transition where parents are supporting their adult children for longer,” she said. “The data do show that more young adult men live with their parents than women. The wealth transfer from older generations to younger generations is part of that story.”

And then there are the partners. “Almost everybody you talk to will have a story” about supporting an unemployed man, Ullrich said, adding that what’s changed isn’t the dynamic itself, but the fact that it no longer carries the stigma it once did. The stay-at-home boyfriend, once a punchline, is now a statistically significant labor market phenomenon.

A landmark paper published in the Journal of Political Economy, first circulated through the National Bureau of Economic Research, found that roughly 70% of the hours young men aren’t working are being spent on video games and recreational computer use. The economists calculated that improvements in gaming technology since 2004 alone can explain nearly half the increase in young men’s leisure hours.

“I think that’s part of the story — the basement story,” Ullrich said, in reference to a trope of young men playing video games in their parent’s basement.

The opioid epidemic compounded it, hitting non-college-educated men especially hard. And critically, men, compared to women, largely don’t qualify for government assistance programs like SNAP or TANF without a disability, meaning when they exit the workforce, the financial burden falls on whoever is closest to them.

85   Original
schipelblorp sh.itjust.works schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-16
#2 · (edited) Quote Reply

And critically, men, compared to women, largely don’t qualify for government assistance programs like SNAP or TANF without a disability, meaning when they exit the workforce, the financial burden falls on whoever is closest to them.

What are the qualification for SNAP and TANF related to gender? I thought it was about having kids, which men are free to take care of; though combining incomes and households is kind of a bad idea if you're trying to qualify for benefits.

11
velma Moderator velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#3 · Quote Reply

And critically, men, compared to women, largely don’t qualify for government assistance programs like SNAP or TANF without a disability, meaning when they exit the workforce, the financial burden falls on whoever is closest to them. What are the qualification for SNAP and TANF related to gender? I thought it was about having kids, which men are free to take care of; though combining incomes and...

It's because of dependents. More women have dependents than men.

TANF requires a dependent minor child or a pregnant individual.

SNAP only covers 3 months for able-bodied adults without dependents.

18
captainlezbian lemmy.world captainlezbian@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-29
#4 · Quote Reply

Well shit, that's a concern. Like it's totally cool if they're doing chores and that's what's been agreed to or they're looking for work, it's rough out there and I've had periods of unemployment myself. But it's bad for everyone when an adult is a non-contributing dependent with no disability or path forward

14
velma Moderator velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#5 · Quote Reply

Well shit, that's a concern. Like it's totally cool if they're doing chores and that's what's been agreed to or they're looking for work, it's rough out there and I've had periods of unemployment myself. But it's bad for everyone when an adult is a non-contributing dependent with no disability or path forward

Yeah this isn't a great sign as far as job availability and such goes. It's tough on these guys and doubled because of the societal expectation that men are providers.

16
hneerqe lemmy.world hneerqe@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-06-27
#6 · Quote Reply

Well shit, that's a concern. Like it's totally cool if they're doing chores and that's what's been agreed to or they're looking for work, it's rough out there and I've had periods of unemployment myself. But it's bad for everyone when an adult is a non-contributing dependent with no disability or path forward

Contribute to wars, environment rape and corrupted pdfs?

-6
captainlezbian lemmy.world captainlezbian@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-29
#7 · Quote Reply

Yeah this isn't a great sign as far as job availability and such goes. It's tough on these guys and doubled because of the societal expectation that men are providers.

Yeah, hopefully this will be an opportunity for our culture to shed the idea that men have to be providers to contribute to their households properly as men.

Like, if they're just being stay at home partners who pick up the financial side of their slack with household labor then that's my only real worry outside the fact that every belt has been getting kinda tight.

But also NEETrot is real and that's where a lot of my concern is. I've been on both sides of it and it really sucks for all involved, especially if you aren't getting out and doing things. I worry for these men's mental health and ability to sustain themselves as well as their ability to leave potentially abusive situations they may find themselves in.

7
captainlezbian lemmy.world captainlezbian@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-29
#8 · Quote Reply

Contribute to wars, environment rape and corrupted pdfs?

Or like, they could take up extra chores since they aren't having to spend a bunch of hours busy everyday earning rent money

4
velma Moderator velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#9 · Quote Reply

Yeah, hopefully this will be an opportunity for our culture to shed the idea that men have to be providers to contribute to their households properly as men. Like, if they're just being stay at home partners who pick up the financial side of their slack with household labor then that's my only real worry outside the fact that every belt has been getting kinda tight. But also NEETrot is real and...

I completely agree on every point. It can be dangerous to be the partner that is at home and dependent on the working partner.

More equality is better for men! I'm sure there's a lot of men that are quite suited to being the stay-at-home parent and would love the opportunity and freedom to do so without the stigma.

3
hneerqe lemmy.world hneerqe@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-06-27
#10 · (edited) Quote Reply

Or like, they could take up extra chores since they aren't having to spend a bunch of hours busy everyday earning rent money

Why would we care if they do whatever

-4
velma Moderator velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#11 · Quote Reply

Why would we care if they do whatever

Why are you commenting here then?

2
hneerqe lemmy.world hneerqe@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-06-27
#12 · Quote Reply

Why are you commenting here then?

To say I don't care wether they do chores. I'm not their nanny state

-2
velma Moderator velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#13 · Quote Reply

To say I don't care wether they do chores. I'm not their nanny state

Oh, well that's just part of living with others.

2
SurelyItsNotPossible sh.itjust.works SurelyItsNotPossible@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-07-31
#14 · (edited) Quote Reply

Yeah it turns out when you modify a system to where young men are unnaturally and unfairly suppressed compared to everyone else, more and more of them wisen up and stop bothering to try and play a rigged game simply accepting the alternative and making peace with it (also known as 'no longer bothering to care') as said suppression grows, how strange...!

And before you guys cry about the truth (since to half of you modern crazies 'all men are evil because 'they just are'' ofc), it's almost like when women were unnaturally and unfairly suppressed in our history, none of them cared to claw their way through a workforce 2x+ as difficult for them either and just accepted the easier option of staying at home instead of also playing a rigged game...!

But hurr durr deyre just lazy and wanna play vidya gaemz in mamma's house XD it must be the video games guyz surely, have all your free time with 50% of an entry level salary or lose all your free time for 100% of the same salary, where neither comes remotely close to you EVER affording a home, hmmm which option guys I dunno

I do well at my current job and it pays well but if I was just coming up to finishing high school nowadays I'd probably default to saying fuck this shit too and not even bother trying either

-8
velma Moderator velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#15 · Quote Reply

Yeah it turns out when you modify a system to where young men are unnaturally and unfairly suppressed compared to everyone else, more and more of them wisen up and stop bothering to try and play a rigged game simply accepting the alternative and making peace with it (also known as 'no longer bothering to care') as said suppression grows, how strange...! And before you guys cry about the truth (...

And before you guys cry about the truth (since to half of you modern crazies ‘all men are evil because ‘they just are’’ ofc),

You clearly didn't read our comments here then. We're supportive of men.

6
SurelyItsNotPossible sh.itjust.works SurelyItsNotPossible@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-07-31
#16 · (edited) Quote Reply

And before you guys cry about the truth (since to half of you modern crazies ‘all men are evil because ‘they just are’’ ofc), You clearly didn't read our comments here then. We're supportive of men.

Nah this is my last day on this shithole website and you would not imagine the specimens I have interacted with on this website with my 2 accounts and how they've all collectively behaved to me, couldn't care less anymore but if you're normal and sane yourself then good for you pal, I would advise you to run from this place asap before you get slowly mindfucked by them and also end up in fantasy land yourself

Had people unironically to the point of refusing to agree with me on the sky being blue lmao, emotional AF community of lemmings

-7
velma Moderator velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#17 · (edited) Quote Reply

Nah this is my last day on this shithole website and you would not imagine the specimens I have interacted with on this website with my 2 accounts and how they've all collectively behaved to me, couldn't care less anymore but if you're normal and sane yourself then good for you pal, I would advise you to run from this place asap before you get slowly mindfucked by them and also end up in fantas...

It's like any online forum type space. You gotta find your niche if you're going to have a good time here.

I'm sorry your experience has been frustrating so far.

4
Malyca lemmy.zip Malyca@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2026-04-13
#18 · Quote Reply

Yeah it turns out when you modify a system to where young men are unnaturally and unfairly suppressed compared to everyone else, more and more of them wisen up and stop bothering to try and play a rigged game simply accepting the alternative and making peace with it (also known as 'no longer bothering to care') as said suppression grows, how strange...! And before you guys cry about the truth (...

Please tell me more about how you're the real victim here

7
SurelyItsNotPossible sh.itjust.works SurelyItsNotPossible@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-07-31
#19 · Quote Reply

It's like any online forum type space. You gotta find your niche if you're going to have a good time here. I'm sorry your experience has been frustrating so far.

That's alright I'm a big boy I can take the internet words, just a waste of time to continue on this irrelevant softie platform so fuck it eh I'll go out with a bang on here why not

-5
Malyca lemmy.zip Malyca@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2026-04-13
#20 · Quote Reply

And critically, men, compared to women, largely don’t qualify for government assistance programs like SNAP or TANF without a disability, meaning when they exit the workforce, the financial burden falls on whoever is closest to them. What are the qualification for SNAP and TANF related to gender? I thought it was about having kids, which men are free to take care of; though combining incomes and...

It's still pretty sexist against men

4
velma Moderator velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#21 · Quote Reply

That's alright I'm a big boy I can take the internet words, just a waste of time to continue on this irrelevant softie platform so fuck it eh I'll go out with a bang on here why not

Well, cheers I guess lol

If you come back, I promise I'll only argue about feminism and not the color of the sky hahaha

5
velma Moderator velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#22 · (edited) Quote Reply

It's still pretty sexist against men

Agreed. This leaves them in much more dire situations and having to rely on others. I wish we had stronger social safety nets for everyone.

5
MachineFab812 discuss.tchncs.de MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de
Joined: 2023-06-22
#23 · Quote Reply

And before you guys cry about the truth (since to half of you modern crazies ‘all men are evil because ‘they just are’’ ofc), You clearly didn't read our comments here then. We're supportive of men.
[removed by moderator]
4
schipelblorp sh.itjust.works schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-16
#24 · Quote Reply

It's still pretty sexist against men

The programs are for adults caring for children. How is it sexist against men?

2
velma Moderator velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#25 · Quote Reply

[removed by moderator]

The other users here are well known for our feminism and for pushback from some lemmings because of it.

2
Malyca lemmy.zip Malyca@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2026-04-13
#26 · Quote Reply

The programs are for adults caring for children. How is it sexist against men?

It's awarded less to men than women in equal circumstances. Or so I read a while ago, it may have changed 🤷

4
MachineFab812 discuss.tchncs.de MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de
Joined: 2023-06-22
#27 · Quote Reply

Oh, well that's just part of living with others.
[removed by moderator]
4
velma Moderator velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#28 · Quote Reply

[removed by moderator]

I completely agree! It’s only a problem when there is no effort toward keeping up shared spaces. And then that’s a household negotiation type situation.

2
MachineFab812 discuss.tchncs.de MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de
Joined: 2023-06-22
#29 · (edited) Quote Reply

The other users here are well known for our feminism and for pushback from some lemmings because of it.
[removed by moderator]
4
velma Moderator velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#30 · Quote Reply

The programs are for adults caring for children. How is it sexist against men?

I think all people that need help should get help. Maybe it’s not inherently sexist, but it ends up disproportionately affecting men.

3
SurelyItsNotPossible sh.itjust.works SurelyItsNotPossible@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-07-31
#31 · (edited) Quote Reply

Please tell me more about how you're the real victim here

What?

I do well at my current job and it pays well

I'm not the victim the younger men born after me are, can you read okay?

Perhaps get off this extremist leftist hivemind website and have a look around, why not talk to some young men IRL too it'll help you understand real quick, if you get your 'accurate information' from this website you'll be fucked and permanently living in delusion

-11
SurelyItsNotPossible sh.itjust.works SurelyItsNotPossible@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-07-31
#32 · (edited) Quote Reply

[removed by moderator]

Why are you so afraid to interact with me directly lmfao weirdest users on this site I swear

Yeah I'm getting owned by a bunch of emotional lemmings for sure bro faaak they got me good

Now you're insta downvoting me HAHA fucking emotions off the charts, cry more buddy

-10
velma Moderator velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#33 · Quote Reply

Why are you so afraid to interact with me directly lmfao weirdest users on this site I swear Yeah I'm getting owned by a bunch of emotional lemmings for sure bro faaak they got me good Now you're insta downvoting me HAHA fucking emotions off the charts, cry more buddy

Maybe because you just announced how much you hate it here?

3
SurelyItsNotPossible sh.itjust.works SurelyItsNotPossible@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-07-31
#34 · (edited) Quote Reply

Maybe because you just announced how much you hate it here?

Nice just replied to the wrong guy here and he insta blocked me XD reply wasn't even meant for him but he took it to heart, sensitive AF I guess

-7
velma Moderator velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#35 · Quote Reply

What? I do well at my current job and it pays well I'm not the victim the younger men born after me are, can you read okay? Perhaps get off this extremist leftist hivemind website and have a look around, why not talk to some young men IRL too it'll help you understand real quick, if you get your 'accurate information' from this website you'll be fucked and permanently living in delusion

Do you really think none of us have young men in our real lives? Or that we are all living in a basement completely alone?

4
velma Moderator velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#36 · Quote Reply

Nice just replied to the wrong guy here and he insta blocked me XD reply wasn't even meant for him but he took it to heart, sensitive AF I guess

Psh I was being nice to you but oh well.

Have the day you deserve.

3
MachineFab812 discuss.tchncs.de MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de
Joined: 2023-06-22
#37 · (edited) Quote Reply

Why are you so afraid to interact with me directly lmfao weirdest users on this site I swear Yeah I'm getting owned by a bunch of emotional lemmings for sure bro faaak they got me good Now you're insta downvoting me HAHA fucking emotions off the charts, cry more buddy
[removed by moderator]
4
SurelyItsNotPossible sh.itjust.works SurelyItsNotPossible@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-07-31
#38 · Quote Reply

[removed by moderator]

Hey hold this for me real quick thanks

-5
Wren Moderator Wren@lemmy.today
Joined: 2025-11-04
#39 · Quote Reply

[removed by moderator]

I originally made it for all the news sources the other major journalism coms kept removing. Now it's just a lax news community.

3
Wren Moderator Wren@lemmy.today
Joined: 2025-11-04
#40 · (edited) Quote Reply

I'll say it every time it comes up: we need universal basic income set at a thriving wage. The core issue shouldn't be that men are being disproportionately affected by job loss, it should be that they aren't being supported by the same systems that shafted them out of a living.

The article touches upon low/no income benefits, but those are largely for people who are temporarily out of the work force. What happens when the amount of people exceed the number of jobs that pay a living wage, like we see now?

Fine, give us automation, but at least let everyone afford to live.

14
MachineFab812 discuss.tchncs.de MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de
Joined: 2023-06-22
#41 · Quote Reply

I originally made it for all the news sources the other major journalism coms kept removing. Now it's just a lax news community.
[removed by moderator]
3
Wren Moderator Wren@lemmy.today
Joined: 2025-11-04
#42 · Quote Reply

[removed by moderator]

That was wild. I don't usually get crash-outs over here in the quieter corner of political discourse. I hope they find their way out.

3
AngryCommieKender lemmy.world AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-08-02
#43 · (edited) Quote Reply

What? I do well at my current job and it pays well I'm not the victim the younger men born after me are, can you read okay? Perhaps get off this extremist leftist hivemind website and have a look around, why not talk to some young men IRL too it'll help you understand real quick, if you get your 'accurate information' from this website you'll be fucked and permanently living in delusion

Or, you could educate yourself on theory to find out why the system isn't working for anyone but the rich, which is why people educated in critical thinking almost always end up further left than they were. I'll give you a hand. Start with Adam Smith. The Theory of Moral Sentiments and Wealth of Nations are the basis for collectivist thought that works far better than authoritarian or capitalist theory has worked for about 2 centuries.

Funny that. The moment that Adam "The Father of Capitalism" Smith, predicted would happen and cause late stage capitalism, actually happened in the mid 1840's to mid 1850's, the privileged philosophers and thinkers of the time came up with a more equitable system of economics that Adam Smith openly said was needed to transition away from the despotism and authoritarianism that capitalism will naturally breed. They named it communism based on the communes that The Christ told his followers to form and be a part of ≈2000 years previous.

I'm 45 years old, and almost retired. Next year baby! I have seen absolutely zero evidence that Horse and Sparrow economics works despite the entire capitalist world forcing that system on the world for the last 150 years. In fact I have seen multiple studies that show that the current capitalist system of economics that every single country worldwide is forced to participate in, leads to the utter destruction of both our planet and our species. Transferring away from the inherently violent and greedy system may allow us enough time to actually figure out how to spread off this planet and make us, as a species, somewhat unkillable. Even with natural disaters that would wipe out every dead planet we colonized and terraformed, within a 50 to 150 light year radius.

3
AngryCommieKender lemmy.world AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-08-02
#44 · Quote Reply

[removed by moderator]

Originally dude is gender neutral. A dude is someone that knows nothing about living on a working farm or ranch. Hence the tourist traps called Dude Ranches that were popular in the early to mid 20th century.

3
MachineFab812 discuss.tchncs.de MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de
Joined: 2023-06-22
#45 · Quote Reply

Originally dude is gender neutral. A dude is someone that knows nothing about living on a working farm or ranch. Hence the tourist traps called Dude Ranches that were popular in the early to mid 20th century.
[removed by moderator]
3
AngryCommieKender lemmy.world AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-08-02
#46 · Quote Reply

[removed by moderator]

I made the comment for the young'uns. One of the interesting things I discovered in Debate Club was that people watching the debate are swayed by calm rational arguments, and the crowd will side with the person that makes the most sense to them. In modern times many people have an inherent, though it may be tenuous, sense of logical arguments vs fallacies and deflection. This worked just as well, if not better, when I was accosted by proselytizing Christians on the sidewalk in downtown of multiple cities.

3
AngryCommieKender lemmy.world AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-08-02
#47 · Quote Reply

Why are you so afraid to interact with me directly lmfao weirdest users on this site I swear Yeah I'm getting owned by a bunch of emotional lemmings for sure bro faaak they got me good Now you're insta downvoting me HAHA fucking emotions off the charts, cry more buddy

The only one around here with feelings and not facts is you dude. You cite no sources, and just allow your feelings to create your comments, thereby allowing you to fall into multiple logical fallacies. You're no Spock or Data, no matter what lies you tell yourself.

3
AngryCommieKender lemmy.world AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-08-02
#48 · Quote Reply

Nah this is my last day on this shithole website and you would not imagine the specimens I have interacted with on this website with my 2 accounts and how they've all collectively behaved to me, couldn't care less anymore but if you're normal and sane yourself then good for you pal, I would advise you to run from this place asap before you get slowly mindfucked by them and also end up in fantas...

You just described what MSMSM has done to you. This place is a bastion of intelligence and research, you just don't care about actual knowledge, just your feelings over facts.

We don't need or want you here if this is the type of behavior you are going to engage in and exhibit. We welcome debate. We do not welcome lies and logical fallicies, which are all the tools you have in your toolkit.

4
AngryCommieKender lemmy.world AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-08-02
#49 · Quote Reply

That's alright I'm a big boy I can take the internet words, just a waste of time to continue on this irrelevant softie platform so fuck it eh I'll go out with a bang on here why not

You're no big boy. You can't take a single amount of facts overriding your feelings, so you run away like the kindergatener that you never actually learned how to be. You don't know the basic rules of society, which is why you have been so easily duped by the liars, thieves, and pedophiles, that run and own everything, and are scared now that we now KNOW, YOU/THEY AREN'T LIKE US. You support pedos, that means you're a wannabe pedo.

3
StillAlive piefed.world StillAlive@piefed.world
Joined: 2025-11-09
#50 · Quote Reply

Tfw no girlboss girlfriend

4
AngryCommieKender lemmy.world AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-08-02
#51 · (edited) Quote Reply

And critically, men, compared to women, largely don’t qualify for government assistance programs like SNAP or TANF without a disability, meaning when they exit the workforce, the financial burden falls on whoever is closest to them. What are the qualification for SNAP and TANF related to gender? I thought it was about having kids, which men are free to take care of; though combining incomes and...

EBT/SNAP benefits are supposed to be available for everyone. Unfortunately/ fortunately* the states control who is eligible and what means testing they are going to use. GOP controlled states have decided that if you're male and working age that you have to spend a fuckton of money up front to get doctors appointments, that if your case survives the decades long process of automated denials and eventually a judge maybe overturning all the illegal denials, despite crippling disabilities, that will maybe say that you are entitled to the benefits that you already paid for with your taxes.

Fortunately* right now because the purple states and blue states ignored the federal EOs that said they needed to do these ridiculous and expensive means testing to determine who gets benefits that, again, you already paid for. All this shit is literally just trying to kill the poor so that the psychologically sick hoarders at the top are able to maintain their disease.

7
Post Reply Page 1 of 2   Goto page 1, 2 Last »
Back to top