He’ll really wear you down.

Comic in 4 Panels

Panel 1: A wizard in blue robes and blue hat with a gray beard raises his wand. A finely dressed captain in a purple coat with slicked back hair stands confidently with arms akimbo.

Wardrobe Wizard: YOU DARE CROSS THE WARDROBE WIZARD?

Captain Purple: DO YOUR WORST

Panel 2: The wizard’s wand flashes. Captain Purple looks concerned as a shirt tag pops up and out of the back of his shirt.

Wardrobe Wizard: IRRITATING SHIRT TAG!

Panel 3: The wizard’s wand flashes again and Captain Purple begins to panic, sweat running down his face as his shirt sleeves bunch up inside his coat sleeves.

Wardrobe Wizard: BUNCHED UP SLEEVES!

Panel 4: The wizard’s wand flashes again a final time. Captain Purple’s looks down, his expression falling as resignation sets in.

Wardrobe Wizard: WET SOCKS!

Captain Purple: please stop

Gutter Text: @MRLOVENSTEIN

Footer Text: COMIC SPONSORED BY DUCAN LATHLIN

Bonus Panel: A gravestone that reads “RIP CAPTAIN PURPLE”, below a plaque reads “SLAIN BY AN ATOMIC WEDGIE”