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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/MissBarker93 on 2026-08-09 17:58:27+00:00.

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I am not the OOP, this was originally posted in r/AmItheAsshole by u/whosedogisitanyway. This is a repost because I'm not fully satisfied with the formatting in the original BoRU.

TW: Brief mention of a house fire

Mood spoiler: Questionable with the update

Original post (Posted May 12th, 2020)

About 7 months ago a friend found a dog near her house. I took her in and called animal control. They said to bring her in to look for a microchip. She was underweight with dirty fur. AC couldn't find a microchip so they said I could hold onto her for a week and they would list her on their website and if nobody claimed her I could adopt her. So that's exactly what happened.

My dog now has shiny fur and is very healthy. She is polite and walks well on a leash. She does lots of tricks. I have depression and anxiety and she's my support animal. She's honestly the light of my life.

Last month I joined a Facebook group for the same unusual purebreed that my dog is. I posted a picture of her in the group. A woman was tagged and a few hours later she DMs me. She said my dog was her dog and she was so thankful I found her and wanted to arrange to come get her. She offered to pay me for taking good care of her.

I thought she was trying to scam me since she lived across the country but when I looked into it I found her IG with alot of dog pictures and videos. My dog has very unique markings so it was unmistakeably the same dog as the one in her pictures. My dog is a show champion and had a lot of training to do obedience, agility and a few others I've never heard of. She has alot of fancy titles too. My dog was clearly well cared for, well trained, and well loved.

She said her house caught fire last year and she lost everything, including my dog who ran away. Nobody knows how she traveled so far or what happened between when she got lost and when my friend found her. She never stopped looking for my dog. She even had a video of my dog as a super cute puppy getting a microchip. No idea why the shelter and my vet couldn't find it but my dog had one at some point.

Here's the part where I might be TA.I told the woman I appreciated the great job she did with my dog for the first few years of her life (she's 5) and I was sorry to hear about her circumstances but I couldn't give up my beloved girl. She's my support animal so I'm not even sure I could live without her. I offered to send her pictures regularly but she turned really nasty. I got tons of hateful messages from people I don't even know.

I had panic attacks whenever I got notifications because her friends acted like it's my fault. I didn't choose for this special dog to change my life so much anymore than she chose for my dog to get lost. I ultimately blocked her because she wouldn't leave me alone.

Since she was listed with the shelter for the hold period and no microchip was found, I've adopted her and she's mine. I am legally in the right but am I morally wrong? I know she loves my dog and wants her back but I can't picture a life without her. Not one where I'm happy anyway. If I could clone my dog and give this chick one I would.

AITA if I think about myself and my health and keep my dog since it's legally my right to anyway?

Verdict: Overwhelming YTA majority

Top comments from the original post:

IPretendIMatter: Though it's incredibly difficult... YTA. It's not "your dog" you just thought it was. Put yourself in her shoes.

Give the dog back.

Deleted user: YTA and you know it. She had and loved that dog for years while you’ve only had the dog 7 months.

Enilodnewg: So massively YTA and 7 months as a (unofficial) "therapy dog" doesn't mean anything compared to 5 years from a pup and lost after a fire!!

I have an Otterhound, a very rare and unusual breed (less than 800 world wide). This post has my blood boiling. If the breed was unusual, I'm angry that there wasn't any effort done by the shelter (or OP) in asking breed groups about a found dog. If someone found an Otterhound and kept it and posted it on the breed's Facebook page, everyone in the group would immediately actively work to find and reconnect with the original owner. And it sounds like that's exactly what happened.

OP needed to do more due diligence, trying to find the previous owner. Instead, did bare minimum and then got upset when they were busted while trying to brag online about their new cool dog.

Give that dog back to its rightful owner, it is NOT yours

Alternative_Answer: YTA.

Something terrible happened to her and from what you've described she loved that dog and treated her well, until circumstances outside her control took the dog away from her. You're being incredibly selfish by keeping her from her family.

How would you feel if this happened to you? If you had a dog you loved for five years and someone refused to give her back, especially after you'd lost everything in a fire? Please give her the dog back.

Update (posted 15 days later on May 27th, 2020)

(EDITOR'S NOTE: The update was removed shortly after it was posted. Years ago, I messaged one of the mods on r/AmItheAsshole asking for the update because I really wanted to know how the story ended, and they generously provided me with the text from the post)

My previous post got an unexpectedly massive response. I got 1000s of messages. Most of which weren’t kind and many outright threatened to harm me. It wasn’t easy but I read every single comment and message.

The shelter let me foster my dog for the stray hold when they couldn’t find a chip. They were pretty full and it kept her out of a cage. I would’ve happily given her back if she was claimed then. When nobody did I took her to be spayed and signed adoption papers.

You don’t see her breed alot but it’s not rare. I won’t say what breed but not a retriever or equally common. The shelter had her listed as the right breed.

I learned unique markings aren't always so unique. I've since found two other dogs that could be her twin. I compared her to the pics of the woman’s dog again. Her dog’s face is what made me think they're the same but my dog has a tiny bit of white on one of her toes that the other dog doesn’t.

Two days after making my last post I took her to the vet. The vet said fur color can be effected if the skin and hair follicles are damaged. She didn’t have a toe injury when she was found so she was probably born that way.

The vet scanned her whole body and took xrays because it was eating me not to know. No microchip anywhere. The vet said they can fall out but it’s super rare. Her teeth are very white so the vet thinks she’s 2-3. I said she was 5 because that’s how old the woman said her lost dog was and initially I did think they were the same.

She doesn’t know special commands like the woman’s dog in her videos. She walks nice, sit, come but won’t pick stuff up or other commands her dog knew.

My therapist and I talked about my selfish response to this stress and how I'd like to react in the future. We explored what my life might look like if I gave my dog up and talked about my support people and coping skills because it isn’t fair for my dog to be my only support.

I unblocked the woman to say I want what’s best for the dog but she’s NOT unhappy and loves her life with me. I offered to send in my dog’s DNA to compare to her dog’s DNA. She said she didn’t have her dog’s to compare. I suggested she ask the breeder for a relative’s DNA. She said that wasn’t an option. I said I’m uncomfortable giving my dog up if we aren’t 100% sure our dogs are the same dog. She was angry and still thinks they're the same despite the evidence.

I consulted with an animal lawyer who said my case is strong since I adopted legally, the shelter followed protocol, there’s no microchip, reasonable doubt in markings and age and the woman won’t provide DNA of her dog or a relative.

There are alot of similarities but alot differences too. I'll return her if DNA confirms a match but until then she stays with me. She needs stability and I won’t give her away on coincidence alone.

I doubt I'll give any more updates but thanks to everyone who helped me prioritize the dog in this mess.

REMINDER: This is a repost sub. I am not the OOP.

Dang been a few years now. What happened!

Top Comments

If this dog actually was a show dog, it would be no issue to find a relatives DNA to confirm. It would be well documented. I have met many dogs that could have been my dog’s twin. It’s not unusual to find similar coat markings. The person claiming it’s their lost dog is also very far away. Not likely a chip would have fallen out. Dog doesn’t know the same commands (and show dogs are well trained and would not likely to forget commands). I think it’s not actually that lady’s dog.

If this dog actually was a show dog, it would be no issue to find a relatives DNA to confirm.

Yeah, its this.

Lots of breed enthusiasts Embark their dogs now and it's pretty accurate at locating which dogs are close relatives. My friend tested her purebred dog and it immediately pinged on her sire, half siblings, and cousins. I tested my mix to find out what breed(s) she was and to check for health issues, but it also found a few cousins in our general geographic area. It honestly seems to work a lot like 23andMe where you get regional ancestry, health stuff, and links to relatives who've tested.

Point is, OOP doesn't actually need the other lady to co-operate. They could just Embark the dog, see what relatives pop up, and go from there.

(BTW not a shill for Embark, just someone who has an interest in consumer DNA tests and genetic genealogy)

This! I have several family members with show quality and/or sporting dogs. Those breeders keep tabs and would have their own records of DNA and likely the relatives of said dog.

I love embark for my mixed rescue. Heck she's the most mixed up breeds ever but I still found her sister and cousins.

I think in this case the woman knows it might not be her actual dog and doesn't want to have it proven. She was hoping to just pressure this girl to give it to her.

I think you’re right, and it might not be malicious or even conscious – there’s a good chance her dog died in the fire, and finding OP’s dog gave her hope that her dog was still alive. The DNA test might crush that hope.

If I had a dog who I loved dearly and lost, I’d much rather her be stolen than have died in a fire.

Anger is a lot easier to hold than grief for some people, so she might be clinging to it.