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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 on 2026-08-10 04:00:02+00:00.

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I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Michiojio

My [25M] boyfriend [28M] tried to screw over my best friend [26F] at work. I told her & he got fired. He blames me now & wants me to pick him or her.

TRIGGER WARNING: Deception

Original Post  June 17, 2016

Lots of background into this.

When I was 19 I came out as gay to my super religious family and was immediately disowned. They kicked me out, stopped paying for my education and stopped talking to me. I literally lost everyone in the extended family. I was all alone and unprepared. I was going to an expensive private university and couldn't afford it anymore, I had to drop out and start working full time.

At that time my friend Claire at the university really helped me out. At that time I didn't know that she was from a very rich family (she never lived to show it). She helped me with small things here and there, allowed me to stay with her until I could get my act together, she even paid for me to get therapy when I was dealing with abandonment issues from my family. Really the kindness that she did for me is something I'll never forget. We remained very close friends after that.

I didn't go back to college, just kept working at rather lower wage jobs. A few months after she graduated she asked if I would like a job. She wanted me to be her driver/assistant. She was working in their own family's business and her previous driver was a boring yes ma'am no ma'am old guy that she wasn't comfortable with. She offered me a superb salary and benefits (like 8x what I was making at my job at the time) and I accepted. I've been working for her for two years now and it's been very nice. The workload is low, I drive a super comfy expensive car, I get paid to spend time with my best friend and all in all this is yet another huge favor for me that she's done.

Here comes my boyfriend Jack. He works for Claire's family business. I met him about 18 months ago and he hates Claire. He believed she is a spoiled selfish girl who's only progressing because her dad owns the empire as he puts it. I didn't know that Jack hates her only until a few weeks ago when they apparently had a clash at work. I'm not aware of the details or whose fault it was since that's really not my job but I became aware of the conflict. Claire doesn't have strong opinions towards Jack though, when she learned that we were dating back then she told me that he seems like a good hardworking person.

Jack told me that he's going to put Claire in her place. I asked what he wants to do, he didn't say much except that "she won't see it coming". I kept pushing and he told me. It was basically messing up something that will make Claire look very bad and the confidence of others in her would take a huge hit. I begged him not to do it as it was not just wrong and unethical but just petty. He seemed to have made up his mind and I couldn't do anything to change it.

I really had no choice at that point. For one, I had to do the right thing. For two, Claire has done so much for me and I owe her so much in my life and as a result I have very strong loyalty to her. I couldn't sit and let something like this happen to her. So I told her everything. She appreciated my honesty and told me that she knows it must have been difficult to do this to my boyfriend and that she won't forget it. She took care of the whole thing. Jack was fired.

So now he's angry that I told her. He says that I picked her over him and I betrayed him. I keep telling him that I begged him not to do it but he put me in the position of having to choose to do the right thing or keep quiet and let him do something wrong to my best friend. He says he can't believe that I did it.

So now he wants me to show him that I love him and I'm loyal to him by cutting contact with Claire and quitting the job. I don't want to do that. Claire is my best friend and I owe her a lot. This job is great and I want to keep it. But I don't want to break up with him either. He made a horrible mistake and he's angry that he lost it. But he keeps pressuring me to make a decision and I'm just tired of it.

Is there any chance for our relationship?
  
tl;dr: boyfriend wanted to screw over my best friend at work. I told her. He was fired. Now he wants me to prove my love to him by quitting my job and ending my friendship with best friend. Is there a hope for our relationship?

RELEVANT COMMENTS

ShadowBanHans

You really need a new boyfriend. He's not a good person. His plan is to basically ruin your professional career while isolating you from your social supports. Wow. True love right there. You can really tell he's concerned for you as a person and not just a petty, and spiteful little troll.

OOP

Yeah I should stop thinking that he only made a mistake. Especially since he's showing no remorse.

DiTrastevere

That wasn't a mistake...it was planned and deliberate. He's a nasty piece of work, and if he actually believed half the things he says about Claire, he wouldn't NEED to contrive a scenario to make her look bad.

Green7000

A mistake is leaving your car door unlocked and getting robbed. A mistake is forgetting to turn your oven off and causing a fire. A mistake is not remembering you were supposed to go to your friend's birthday party until the next morning. A mistake is not smashing someone's window and stealing from them, it is not deliberately burning down another person's house, it is not crashing a party to humiliate the guest of honor. Those are deliberate, malicious actions. His "mistake" is the same type of "mistake" Brock Turner made - aka deliberate actions that are only a "mistake" in that he didn't mean to get caught but did mean to commit the crime.

Also, are you sure he was interested in you and not trying to use you against her in some way?

OOP

I don't know what to believe anymore. He seemed very interested in me and never used me against her before. At least not that I know of.

Green7000

But he could be hoping that when you two started dating that you would say something that would allow him to claim she was homophobic. Or he could have been thinking he would get a better position at the company being your SO and when he didn't he got angry at her. He could claim you told him about something she said or did and start rumors that would hurt her without doing anything official.

I'm just saying assume that this guy had ulterior, negative, motives for everything he ever did.

OOP

You might have a point. Last year he asked me to put in a good word for him with Claire because there was a promotion to grab. I told Claire that Jack told me to tell her that he's interested and ready. He didn't get the promotion although he was promoted six months later to a different position.

Green7000

And got angry at her because he put in the "work" aka dating you and didn't get what he "deserved" aka the promotion. There was a post here yesterday or the day before from someone who inherited money and gave his family literally thousands of dollars worth of property, and they were angry that he hadn't given them enough. Some people near money tend to get an entitled mindset and lash out against those who have it. I'm guessing he saw you as a fast track to success and was angry at her for not giving him what he thought he deserved.

OOP

The more I think the more I see that you may be right. Oh fuck.

Update  June 23, 2016 (6 Days later)

Most of you were right. I was being played from the beginning.

I confronted Jack about the whole thing and asked him if he considered my friendship with Claire when he started to date me. He at first refused to admit it and kept telling me that he loved me but since we were getting nowhere he said "why hide it anymore, yeah, I approached you to get info on her, do you really think I'd be interested in a waste of clothes like you?"

Yeah. He said that exactly. He told me that he first started dating me for getting information, then to use me to help him get promotions and he made the "mistake" of thinking I was his when he wanted to take down Claire. He left.

So that's what happened. I was played for 1.5 years. I'm just happy that he couldn't succeed in hurting Claire otherwise I couldn't have forgiven myself. I needed someone to talk to after all of this and that had to be Claire so I went to her flat and we talked for hours about all of it. I was really embarrassed for falling for Jack's BS and putting her at risk but she kept telling me that she's proud of me since I protected her when she needed someone to have her back. So yeah we're at great terms.

I won't ever let this happen again. I learned my lesson. No more dating anyone who Claire has any sort of professional relationship with. I'll be a better and more loyal friend for her from now on.

tl;dr: Jack only dated me to use me for his own goals. We broke up. Claire and I are on great terms. Never again I'll date anyone from work.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Of course the douche was a douche from the start. Least op didnt waste too much time on this pos.