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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2026-08-10 04:04:09+00:00.

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I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ScarieltheMudmaid

Originally posted to r/GirlDinnerDiaries

I'm about to call CPS on someone I love

Thanks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU

Trigger Warnings: child abuse, domestic abuse

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Original Post: August 1, 2026

TW: child abuse

I've been worried my friend has been in an abusive relationship for a while, but she vehemently denies it. She sings his praises and acts like she's never had it better. She says the only reason they aren't married is because he doesn't want her daughter losing her survivorship benefits from her father passing. I've never been extremely close to her daughter as we've lived at a distance most our adult lives but used to see each other fairly regularly still. and took her on trips a few times when I had my niblings. when I first moved truly far away friend and I still video chatted often until she got serious with this guy. but I started noticing things like holes in walls and we went to voice only and not very often

well her daughter called me last night. and by last night I mean 3:00 in the morning. like just 5 hours ago. she had already made it to a friend's house but apparently my friends boyfriend woke her daughter up in the middle of the night because she apparently hadn't done the dishes correctly. she's got a full handprint bruise on her arm, a couple bruises and welts across her back, and an audio recording of it going down. she sent it all to me and I've been crying all morning. She said she doesn't think ger mom gets hit but she says her mom has watched her get hit hard before. and honestly that just kind of broke me.

I'm so disappointed in my friend. and concerned for her, and revolted honestly. part of me is still worried about her but as someone who has had custody of four of my nieces and nephews and is currently spending time with my 9-month-old I just can't imagine watching a man beat my child without overwhelming rage

fuck.

daughters paternal aunt will be in town in a few hours and they're going to call police. she asked if I can call CPS after her aunt gets there because apparently the cops have gotten involved before, but cps didn't

so now I'm waiting on the okay to turn someone I love dearly into cps.

this fucking sucks

Picture of OOP's breakfast

breakfast is a bunch of shit on tortillas I left in the oven a lil too long bc I'm frazzled

edit to add - I thought it was obvious from the post, but I'll absolutely be calling, but I will absolutely not be calling until the aunt is there because I'm not risking her going to the children's home if avoidable.

UPDATE: the girl is safely at her aunt's house, my call is in, and they already have an investigator scheduled to be there in a few hours. The aunt is calling me later tonight to catch me up as I've apparently missed a lot

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: making that call is going to hurt, but you’re doing what needs to be done to keep her safe. she trusted you when she was terrified, and that says everything about you!! just take it one step at a time and try to go easy on yourself. 🫶.

Commenter 2: That call might cost you a friendship, but it could save that girl’s life. She called you because she knew you’d act. That’s trust.

OOP: it's not a friendship if she can let that happen to her child. she was around for my childhood, we grew up where it was rampant and has helped me set up rallies, seminars, booths etc. victim advocacy and high risk youth outreach before.

Commenter 3: Those who were victims as children often become victims as adults. Doesn't excuse her part in this, but remember that DA victims often don't see a way out without worse consequences. She's not strong enough to get out, but in so glad her daughter ran and got help.

OOP: she wasn't a victim as far as I know. her dad was pretty much the neighborhood/bike dad, and she cut him out recently as well. her mom was a little cuckoo but that was all in the wanted to do everything with us and be the fourth best friend. she knows I was, and that several of our friends are. when I brought up the example her dad set she said something like "not everyone can be a saint" and like yeah, your dad is dope but he's also kind of just what a dad is supposed to be.

and I get what you're saying, but sacrificing your kids well-being to avoid "worse" consequences can be seen as a felony level of neglect in that state and honestly I feel like that's appropriate. if you don't have a strong enough grasp on reality to understand how to keep your child safe you should not have guardianship

Commenter 4: That's horrible 😔 I'm so glad for that kiddo that she knew to tell a trusted adult. Your friend's ability to see what's happening in her home has likely been whittled down for some time by this psycho, not that it excuses anything. The idea of letting someone harm my child... I can't fathom that. Let's hope cps pulls through, glad the kiddo had the foresight to record things.

OOP: I still have the texts from when we were video chatting, and I first saw holes in the walls. I didn't want him to hear me ask but I sent her the screenshots and asked her if those were fist holes and she didn't confirm or deny it say who it was, but she said "yeah, he's going to fix them though, he was just having a real hard night because his father has passed recently" but after that is when we stopped video chatting so either she got protective or he saw anyways

Commenter 5: Just so you know....you don't need anyone's OK to make a CPS report.

OOP: and what if they move real fast for once? what if they get to her before her aunt does? sure maybe they wait for the aunt, or maybe they take her straight to the children's home. it would be absolutely ridiculous to risk that when this girls already been through so much and I can simply wait an hour or two more

OOP clarifies on the child's paternal aunt's relationship

OOP: paternal is her father's sister. she's also the executor of the estate that her father left the kid and basically has shared custody with my friend since he died. I know she goes over there most weekends

OOP explains more about why she feels the need to call CPS and the possibility of victim blaming her friend for being in a domestic violence relationship

OOP: I was a victim as a child. many of our friends were. As a community we've built a whole high risk youth and victim advocacy and resource center with of list halfway homes, deals with landlords throughout the city, even ways to help with security and an emergency moving force that can assemble and move an entire home (though usually only half lol) in an amazing amount of time. she's say through our stories, our shares, up empowering one another and according to Aunt in the longer version of the audio is her, the mom's voice, telling her daughter to " just... take it. "

Commenter 6: Seems as though when the cops get there (it's for the daughter, right?) they will automatically involve CPS.

OOP: from what the daughter said this has happened before and cps did not get involved

Update: August 3, 2026 (two days later)

so I talked to the aunt yesterday. I'll call her titi. but apparently things have been bad for a while. I moved away a few years ago before this guy had come in to my friend's life but apparently not long after he did the daughter, we'll call Mila started failing at school, and then not showing up sometimes. About a year ago truancy court for involved and that's when Mila started spending a LOT of time at Titi's. Apparently Mila has to sleep at home but goes to Titis most afternoons and every weekend.

From what Mila reported things have been way worse than she's been letting on and apparently her mom has become verbally/emotionally abusive. "like a different person" my friend was sober when I met her almost two decades ago but I'm wondering if she’s not now. titi said there was a situation worth police that cps should have been involved in but she's getting stonewalled over why they weren't. Meanwhile my "friend" and her bf are both in jail. she's got an obstructing justice and endangering a minor listed at the moment, but he's got child abuse grievous for two counts and get this THREE PAROLE VIOLATIONS . like what the fuck

but yeah. I'm no hero. that girl is her own hero. she knew I didn't trust the bf and asked titi if I could help, titi remembered I worked with the at risk youth group, offered to call me and this (big) little woman told her titi to worry about finding a plane and she'd call me. So while I'm extremely disappointed in my friends ability to safeguard her daughter, something went right because she's got a sharp mind and a steel backbone. (titi didn't end up finding a flight, she had to grab a rental car and drive 600 miles back from her vacay on the drop off a dime, first weekend she hadn't had Mila in like a year)

Titi already has a lawyer so they're going to be contacting me t...

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Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1vkaf8a/im_about_to_call_cps_on_someone_i_love/

Titi already has a lawyer so they're going to be contacting me this week as she's likely to go for custody. She seemed iffy about that until I looked up the charges and brought up possible drugs. She's still not sure but I'm down to give the lawyer what little I have. which is mostly just me asking if dude is abusive or if my friend needs help and her acting aloof and making vague excuses.

so unfortunately kid is in legal limbo but for now gets to stay at titis and is excited she won't be riding the bus for a while lol

Picture of OOP's meal

food is a chicken rosemary chipotle Sando

EDIT: THANK YOU ALL! I certainly appreciate your concern and as many of you noted we do grow up to become the adults we needed, or at least we hope to. lol. I do have mental health services absolutely! unfortunately I have been through enough situations that this does not feel overly heavy, but I think a lot of that is knowing that she is in no imminent danger currently .

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: So glad that you have the aunt to work with you on this. I'm sure that helps.

OOP: I am just a supporting actress, they are the stars for real. so proud of them both

Commenter 2: I’ll never understand why men who have criminal records and extensive abuse histories keep getting released so that they can re-offend again and again until they inevitably maim and/or murder.

Thanks, OP and titi, for looking out for this child where countless children are failed.

OOP: I can't understand why I can't find his criminal history. he must be on parole for another state

Commenter 3: Could be another state or another county. Some people love to just roam all over creating mayhem.

OOP: ugh do some states make you search by county? I think this might be a legitimate use for ai...

Commenter 3: Mine does, not sure about all, but I know that a lot do. Because typically it's each county's state's attorney or district attorney (depending on what your state has) filing the charges. I'm in the Midwest and have never seen 1 central place you can search statewide for charges in my state or the neighboring states. You have to know which county and hope they have good online court records/a decent search function.

It's "easier" if the person is in prison or is a sex offender because there are statewide searches for that (either the state department of corrections or the sex offender database). It's tougher when the person is "just" in jail or has already served their prison sentence, then you have to know which county the charges were filed in.

And it's a mess because how much info is available online and whether you can even search online varies from county to county.

OOP: I just have to hope he's one of the thirty states with state wide registries

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

This could have been way worst thank god it didnt