This is a toilet thought, please ban me mods.

The velocity is proportional to bladder pressure and inversely proportional to the square of the diameter of the urethra. The shape of the body parts outside the urethra is irrelevant.

This isn't true because I can squeeze the tip of my foreskin and the pee will start spraying everywhere super fast. Similar to covering the end of a hose with my thumb.

Similar to the hose, your feeble attempts at restriction only make the stream stronger.

There is a fundamental pressure being restricted. IF she has a bigger urethra than you, she'll wreck you. If she has a narrow urethra, she might be in the same support group as Hank Hill.

Either way, the fundamental limit of how much pee can flow will always follow a basic function.

Because of the inverse relationship between velocity and diameter.

Damn crazy. Do you think the shape of someone's genitalia has an effect on that velocity and diameter?

I don't even think you know what you're talking about let alone what I'm talking about.

Shitposts =/= shower thoughts

Time to harass my wife and compare speeds based on the sound of our pee streams. ✌️

No

Likely slower due to the friction the fluid have to go through the length of the barrel. The benefit however is the accuracy it has and lower in decibel, as it act as an aiming device and a suppresor.

I thought most mammals had basically the same time (where diameter scales with bladder size) from a full bladder. I'm not sure if I'm misremembering that.

pew, pew!

I have no idea but the next time I pee PEW PEW

Your penis makes noise when you pee? The only noise I've ever heard is when the urine hits water/leaves/grass..

It sounds like a lawn mower in a kiddie pool full of spaghetti. Yours is silent?

Mine sounds more like me looking at how hot it is outside and thinking maybe later. Mostly quite, but a potential groan everyonce in a while.

Yes, partially covering the opening will increase flow speed, but it doesn't matter how long the hose was before you covered it, so no penis is required to achieve that.

The optimal genitalia for urination has zero length. Imagine a frictionless laminar flow from a razor edged hole in your torso!

You should try a twist tie, wrench it shut like it's bread you want to actually keep fresh instead of just twisting it up and tucking it under the loaf like most men do. See what happens!

I used to think that women had larger urethras than men because female catheters are larger. A post similar to this one caused me to do a bit of reading though. Women's urethras are actually a little smaller on average. They can use larger stiffer catheters because their urethras are much shorter and almost straight. Men's catheters have to be narrower because they have to be flexible to go through men's longer curvier urethras.

It works for shitting, not sure if the same applies here but it's possible

defecation duration is constant across many animal species – around 12 seconds (plus or minus 7 seconds) – even though the volume varies greatly

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-physics-of-poop/

I tried all of these but I just came in my pants? Is that normal?

True, so dick length doesn't matter but shape/girth does

I've definitely seen public bathrooms where the previous occupant may have been utilising this technique

I like this theory, diverting more funding to your research doctor

You might need a few stitches bruh

Caution advised, I have just received a theory from one of your scholarly peers that a phallus may act as a scilencer thus making your method ineffectual. Perhaps pee upwards at a 45 degree angle and then measure the height of each stream to derive velocity?

Laminar flow means exceptionally smooth and directional without any turbulence or spray, so this would make sense if you visited a bathroom that was spotlessly clean

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7Hyc3MRKno

A kiddie pool full of spaghetti is one place I haven't yet tried peeing

Should I wait for the kids to get out?

You're so right! At least as long as you aren't so small that surface tension forms droplets

https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1402289111

Of course there are other factors (how full and how big the baldder is etc.) but I do wonder if the diameter of the pipe is smaller in a penis, and maybe less stretchy/flexible, compared to vulva urethra.

In theory, maybe. Yet in the real world, enough foreskin to interfere with the flow makes for a smoother flow with no spraying.

BPH says no.

Research like this deserves an Ig Nobel prize.

Mine is rifled.

Now I'm sitting here wishing I had rifling in my barrel so the pee would come out spiraling like those nozzles on some power washers.

Unlike you heretic, my back shots are smoothbore. Guided by God.

I want my dick to work like one of those tshk-tshk-tshk sprinklers

but the individual particles in the stream are going to follow a ballistic, not spiralling trajectory. I think the spiral nozzles have to rotate; they can't just be rifled.

Beil Patrick Harris?

Broken petroleum hill?

Bold Persephone Hologram?

"People with a penis" do you mean Men? 😂

Some men don't have penises, some people with penises are not men.

Don't try and chase those goalposts around the field.

Mine comes all the way from my head so the pressure is intense.

I’m going to just say this. I hear my wife pee sometimes and it sounds like a water faucet. She has me beat at least.

I'M GOING TO NEED A PERFECTLY SPHERICAL BLADDER IN A HARD VACUUM

Big ol’ Pumpkin Head?

Most of the time

A long time ago I read somewhere that the human penis is indeed rifled.