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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 on 2026-08-12 04:00:02+00:00.

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I am not The OOP, OOP is u/weddingthrowawayy_1

My [27F] fiance [28M] has walked out on me four days before the wedding to go "find himself" in Asia. Blindsided, heartbroken, and mortified. What the hell do I do now?

Original Post - rareddit  Apr 19, 2016

My fiance (Jack) and I have been together for 4 years. We own an apartment together, we rarely argue. It was the happiest, least problematic relationship I've ever been in. I don't understand.

He proposed to me last year, and we've spent the last 9 months saving relentlessly for our wedding. Venue booked, guests all invited, both of us were so excited. I know we both individually had some bouts of nervousness, especially as the date got closer. But as far as I know it was just the excitement and build up. Jack never expressed any doubts about our relationship and I have no idea why this has happened.

Yesterday:

Four days to go and I come out of the bedroom in the morning to see Jack sat in the living room looking like he's about to throw up. I immediately feel something is off. He sits me down and starts telling me he doesn't "feel the same anymore and hasn't for a while". He said he thought getting married might fix things but he now knows how stupid that is. To be honest I don't remember the majority of what he said, the only thing I could hear was my heartbeat drumming in my ears. He then told me he'd booked a one way ticket to Asia and that he didn't know what he wanted anymore out of life and that this would give him some "perspective". And just like that, he got up and left and I haven't heard a word from him since.

I must have spent about 3 hours sat on the sofa staring into space. I can't even cry. This doesn't feel real.

Reddit, what the FUCK do I do now? He's switched his phone off, I have no idea where he is. I don't even know if he's actually booked a ticket, but a lot of his clothes are missing. He's actually packed for a trip but I just don't know if this some sort of sick joke I feel like my heart has been ripped out from my chest. What do I tell people? What do I do? Where do I start?

tl;dr: My fiance Jack left me four days before our wedding with no real explanation to go gain some "perspective" in Asia. What the fuck do I do next?

Update  Apr 29, 2016 (10 Days Later)

My post was locked before I had a chance to reply to anything, but I read and processed every comment. Thank you to everyone who left me advice.

Those who thought it might be Jack's idea of a prank, it unfortunately was true and he is currently in Bangkok with a friend from high school. He must have been arranging this for months - the visa and injections for South East Asia alone take at the very least 4 weeks of planning ahead.

I haven't spoken to him since the day he walked out, but his parents rang me the next day after I made my post. They told me he was staying with the high school friend, and that he was due to the fly out the day after what was supposed to be our wedding day. He told them he plans on staying there for at least a year. He must have been saving on the side, as our joint account has not been touched and most of our paychecks went to our wedding fund and mortgage. It is sickening to consider how long he may have actually been planning this.

Jack's parents like me but they are pretty cold people, and didn't have must else to say other than offering me pragmatic advice and apologising for their son's behaviour. Since that phone call, I've heard nothing from them, although they did ask me to contact them regarding the apartment at some point in the future, which I plan to sell. I will be moving back in with my parents as soon as I find a buyer as I can't pay the mortgage alone, although Jack's parents said they will pay his half until then.

As for the wedding, a lot of people suggested I give it to charity or go through with the party anyway. I wish I could say it went to good use, but I actually spent the day with my brothers and bridesmaids, crying for around 16 hours in between sleeping. They made sure I was eating, and we watched a few films together but overall it was probably the worst day of my entire life.

I left it up to my parents to contact people and haven't gotten involved with the logistics of cancelling. I don't know if we got any money back, I'm not ready to talk about it yet. From what I understand, an email was sent out explaining that the wedding was cancelled and apologising for how much inconvenience this would cause. The email asked that no one contact me about what had happened, and if people had any questions to speak to my parents or brothers. My parents had a gathering at their house for those who had booked flights and hotels etc, with some of the wedding food? And drinks and stuff. I know around 50 people ended up going, I guess it was a sort of party but my cousins said the mood was obviously pretty bad. None of Jack's family came of course.

Other than that, I don't really know what else to say. I've taken some time off work and my brother has also taken two weeks off to make sure I'm never alone at home. Everyone is just so hurt and angry and disappointed in Jack, I just feel completely numb. I still wake up in the mornings hoping this is a weird dream stemming from pre-wedding nerves.

I don't know how I'm going to get over this and I still love Jack so much, I feel like he's been possessed by someone else but it is him. I'm going to go to a therapist to help me come to terms with this.

Sorry this hasn't been a happy update but it's not a happy situation. Thanks for reading.

tl;dr: My parents dealt with the cancellation and emailed people to let them know. They hosted a "party" for the people who had booked flights. I spent my wedding day crying with my bridesmaids and brothers. I haven't heard from Jack, who is currently in Bangkok. Seeking therapy soon.

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What a pos. Planning this for months! That was the time he needed to say something