What is this a fucking corny 80's movie? Shock gloves, really?! Do they think all these unconventional gadgets are gonna make them look cooler?

(It’s satire)

The gloves are real. I think.

I checked it out it's legit... Because of course it is

This makes me sadder. ☹️

This literally is not satire. It's just sarcasm. Because the core indefensible nonsense is actually fucking real, dry criticism is not some biting commentary on similar limp nitpicking of choke-holds and spy cameras. It's reduced to reflexive 'well how could that go wrong?' pablum, on par with 'what where they thinking?'

I thought this was a rare hit from OP. No: this is how I found out ICE is genuinely talking about electric shock gloves. Why this article, and not the article about Elon Musk getting shanked?