Link: https://old.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/1vme5hu/title_i_was_in_specialed_classes_as_a_kid_became/

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/TwitchyFing3rs901 on 2026-08-12 13:27:47+00:00.

I'm 36, and I'm trying to make sense of a life that looks completely different depending on which part of it you look at.

When I was around 9 years old, I was in special-ed classes. I struggled with things other kids seemed to understand naturally, especially socially. My childhood was also pretty chaotic. My parents had their own problems and fought with each other, and looking back, I don't think I received the guidance or support I actually needed.

Then somehow, my life took this enormous turn.

At 18, I scored a 67 on the ASVAB and joined the United States Marine Corps. I became an 0612 Wireman, held a Secret clearance, and served for four years. I wasn't incapable. I could learn complicated things, follow systems, work extremely hard, and function in environments that demanded a lot from me.

After the military, I continued trying to build a normal adult life. I worked different jobs, went back to school for manufacturing/CAD/CNC/robotics-related training, got heavily into building things and 3D printing, and generally kept pushing forward.

But there was always another side of my life that didn't make sense.

Social situations could be incredibly confusing. I'd sometimes realize afterward that something I'd said came across completely differently from how I intended it. I'd become intensely focused on projects or subjects. Certain situations could overwhelm me far more than they seemed to overwhelm everyone else. Relationships were difficult, and there were parts of everyday human interaction that I felt like everyone else had received an instruction manual for.

For most of my life, I didn't understand why.

I didn't figure out that I was autistic until my 30s.

And that realization has been both incredibly illuminating and incredibly frustrating.

It explains so much of my childhood. It explains why I could excel at something structured and demanding while simultaneously struggling with things that supposedly should have been "easy." It explains why intelligence or competence was never really the problem.

Now I'm 36, and in a strange way I sometimes feel like I'm back at 9 years old.

Not intellectually. I've lived an entire adult life. I've been a Marine. I've worked. I've gone to college. I've dealt with responsibilities and survived plenty of difficult things.

What I mean is that I'm finally trying to deliberately learn some of the social and emotional skills that I think I was supposed to be taught when I was a kid.

I'm learning boundaries. I'm learning how healthy relationships are supposed to work. I'm learning how to recognize when I've misunderstood somebody and how to repair it. I'm learning what autism actually looks like in me, instead of judging myself against people whose brains don't work like mine.

And I'm trying to build a support system instead of doing absolutely everything by myself.

The weirdest part is looking backward and realizing that the kid in special-ed, the Marine who could succeed in a highly structured environment, and the 36-year-old trying to figure all of this out are the same person.

I'm posting here because I'd really like to hear from other autistic adults, especially people who weren't diagnosed or didn't understand their autism until adulthood.

Did anyone else have this strange experience where you were obviously capable in some areas—school, military service, work, technical skills, whatever—but felt years behind everyone else socially or emotionally?

And if you discovered your autism later in life, how did you actually learn the things you missed growing up? What kinds of therapy, groups, mentors, books, or other support genuinely helped you?

I'm not looking to stop growing because I'm autistic.

I'm trying to finally understand the equipment I've been operating for the last 36 years.