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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/JoySubtraction on 2026-08-13 00:00:52+00:00.

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I am not the OOP, OOP is u/JointWitch

Originally posted to r/AITAH

Original post posted 2026-07-22

I (33F) and my partner 'Leo' (37M) have 3 children, one from my previous relationship and two with Leo. Leo sees all 3 as his and we are in the process of him adopting our eldest girl.

Leo's family has always had a problem with me. For context, his sister and mother are the main antagonists of this post. Both women have been pretty consistent in treating me poorly and usually in ways that most men wouldn't catch. A venom-filled statement here, and accusatory whisper to me when Leo leaves the room. His mother backs off slightly why he notices, but not his sister.

The bigger issues I've had with them include, but are definitely not limited to:

1. Them hosting an intervention for him while I was pregnant with our first to try to convince him that I had either cheated or got pregnant to force him to support me. To this day they work into casual conversation about how they would help him when he finally decides to leave me.
2. My MIL calling my grief disgusting... in front of my children... at a fancy restaurant... for Christmas dinner... that I had paid for entirely. The grief she was referring to? I had a miscarriage during our second pregnancy and decided to name and bury my angel baby beneath a tree od the same name.
3. My SIL announcing loudly at a family gathering that she doesn't think we are caring for our autistic son's needs properly. We are doing everything we can and his doctors agree that we are already going above and beyond. Shortly after that she insisted that our children will never matter as much as her friends' children will.

Leo and I agreed that, even though I'm personally going no contact, he should still bring the children to visit. However, he doesn't visit much at all for two reasons. Firstly, because our 3 children are quite a handful alone and his family says they are there to visit not babysit so he has a hard time being there with them without me. Secondly, though more importantly, he hates how they treat me and had cut contact until they can be better towards me. I say had because that recently changed.

He is planning to take the children to his mother's this coming weekend. I told him to have fun (not in a sarcastic way) and that I'll be home cleaning up and taking a rest. Now he's conflicted because he wants me to come, but I really don't feel supported or respected in that house.

So reddit, AITA for going no contact with my in-laws? Should I just suck it up like a couple of my friends have suggested? I'll try to answer any questions I can to clear things up if I need to.

Comment from deathboyuk

Leo and I agreed that, even though I'm personally going no contact, he should still bring the children to visit

Then you're both permitting the abuse of your children because you're cowards.

Comment from kalixanthippe

NTA, you have a husband problem.

Your husband needs to grasp that your children will pick up on the poison your in laws put down, and it will affect you and your family negatively.

Update posted 2026-07-22

Thank you all for every comment. Supportive and critical, I read each and every one and heard you. Leo especially.

He was pretty shocked, but recognized that a lot of what he read wasn't inaccurate and admitted he didnt realize that he was doing so much harm. We are going to therapy together next month, we've booked the date already.

We decided that it would be me so I broke the silence to reach out to my MIL. I sent her one, very non-emotional (I hope) message. It read exactly as shown below. Leo stand much more firmly with me now I believe and we have united in agreeing that the children matter most and the very real risk of his family saying poisonous things is not something either of us are willing to take.

Names below are changed for privacy reasons, but the real name was used in the text.

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Hi *MIL*,

*Leo* let me know you were hoping to see the children during his upcoming parenting time. We will not be arranging a visit at this time.

As the parents, our priority is providing a healthy environment for the children. To protect their emotional well-being, we have a strict boundary against them being exposed to open criticism or disrespect toward either of their parents. Because this boundary has been repeatedly crossed in front of the children, we cannot trust that a neutral environment will be maintained.

Visits will remain on hold until we see a sustained, positive change in how our family is treated. Moving forward, all further inquiries, updates, or communication regarding this matter must be directed to Leo.

Please do not contact me directly about this moving forward.

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Thank you all again. I feel our family is going to do well with our newfound unity and peace.

Leo should have sent that. What a coward