Link: https://old.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/1vndikc/my_wife_doesnt_understand_that_i_have_to_mask/

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/Undertheus on 2026-08-13 15:13:19+00:00.

I started a new job, it's the first time in more than a year that I have had to go to the office. Before that, I was either a freelancer or 100% home office.

The people in my new job are very sympathetic. Maybe too sympathetic..

They love to hug and to have small talks. My direct boss is a people's person. He took me around the building to show all the company and to present me to everyone he knew. He knows a lot of people..

Again, everyone was very sympathetic. But there was a lot of smiling, laughing and hugging. My social battery was depleted, and my mask was too heavy at the end of the day.

When I arrived home, my wife was also tired from her work. I got upset with a couple of things she did, nothing serious, normal marital stuff. The problem is, without any masking, or filter, and completely tired, she said I was acting like a complete jerk and being rude.

I didn't scream with her, I didn't curse nor pulled a tantrum. I tried to talk very calmly (at least I thought I was), but everything was coming out so bluntly that, for her, it was rude. And I kind of understand her. She doesn't understand that even when I'm with her, I'm masking most of the time and mimicking socially accepted facial expressions and voice tones. I've been doing it for most of my life, more than 30 years. I've become so good at it that people are often surprised that I'm autistic.