Link: https://old.reddit.com/r/antiwork/comments/1vnfxp3/update_my_manager_is_trying_to_gaslight_me_by/

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The original was posted on /r/antiwork by /u/PremiumOxygen on 2026-08-13 16:39:23+00:00.

Update from my previous post, I just wanted to share some of the ridiculous conversational points I had: https://www.reddit.com/r/antiwork/s/BDSPy4ZeLY

So my manager requested a call yesterday and never showed for it after sending me a message of 'do you have time today for a call to discuss yesterday's email'.

So today we had my one to one.

It was the standard shit of making awkward small talk about irrelevant things like potted plants or her feigning interesting in my dying relative.

She then leads with 'so were you pissed off when we emailed you?'. Her and the pipeline manager are best buds, so I imagine they were bitching about me to come to this conclusion.

She said that leading the project was part of my job description and I asked her if I was acting as a project manager and she said no.

I asked her if she wanted me to do the paperwork for it and she said someone else was (these are the next steps anyway so what's the problem?).

I asked her what the new pipeline manager's responsibilities are because I'm not sure I understand their place in the design cycle. She told me that we're apparently losing them too as they're switching projects...

She told me there is nothing in my job spec which isn't what she's asking, but my job description literally just isn't what she's asking.

I reiterated I was happy to step in and help if that's what's needed and she told me 'that isn't the message I hear you saying'.

What else do you want lol? I don't understand what you're even asking me to do.

I explained I wasn't qualified to do the roles she was trying to get me to do and also that by happenstance I discovered this project may breach a terms of service if we went ahead without a supplier's permission, which we would have discovered if the initial steps had been done.

I told her what she's suggesting is cutting corners and may cause problems down the line, she said she didn't care.

She said 'I shouldn't be sat around waiting for people before it gets to you'... That's literally what a developer does. I've said countless times I'm there to collaborate or offer support where needed.

She said she assumed I took the lead on it because I attended a preliminary meeting despite me never being asked to and it still being with the pipeline manager. I wasn't even given tasks to do.

I noticed she kept rolling her eyes and scrunching her face like a teenager and kept getting visibly frustrated because she doesn't understand things.

She then just books off two weeks holiday to avoid any difficult conversations with her boss as to why our department is fucked.

What the fuck is this job.