Link: https://old.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/1vocvxi/coworkers_failure_to_read_the_room_might_cost_her/

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/CaeraRose04 on 2026-08-14 16:59:54+00:00.

So I should start by saying I am 36F and I am level 1 autistic. I am the only data geek in a team that is very focused on the creative side of business, so I tend to keep my head down and just try to get my work done because I've noticed that the team, while they do seem to be pretty neurodivergent, doesn't like to have to explain things or unmask at all.

There's a new team member who keeps pissing people off and seems completely oblivious to it. She has a lot of experience in the field but has never worked on a team before. She's come in with a clear idea of how she thinks the department should be run and is aggressively trying to implement wide-scale changes. But she is not in any sort of management role, so she doesn't have any authority over any of us - she's just giving us all tasks and expecting us to do them.

I really think she's probably autistic because she doesn't seem to read social cues, doesn't understand the corporate structure at all, is very rigid in how she "needs" her workflow to be and expects everyone to work on a timeline that's convenient for her but disregards our other tasks. At this point she's offended just about everyone on the team and doesn't seem to realize it.

I usually am a girl's girl and I want to help her pivot and not lose her job, but a few weeks ago I already tried a 30 minute blunt info dump on what problems she's causing and how she could approach things differently, and she has 100% disregarded everything I said. Today she was in a call with our director and disregarded him too, and he's one that doesn't tolerate any kind of friction.

How do I help her with this? Or do I just let her fail? I have no specific obligation to her, I just feel bad for her and I see what's happening.