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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2026-08-16 04:00:08+00:00.

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I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Neither_Beautiful_38

Originally posted to r/Marriage

Unusual text messages between wife and personal trainer

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Original Post: August 8, 2026

BURNER ACCOUNT.

My wife (32F) and I (33M) have been together for 5 years, married for 3. A year ago she started working out with a personal trainer. She's lost weight and has really gotten in shape.

Yesterday while she was driving, she asked me to put an address in Waze on her phone. I saw a text come in from her trainer so I took a look through her text history with her trainer. The earlier texts were all about confirming times for sessions, but in recent weeks they became more personal, like "you looked great today!" and sharing funny tiktoks.

Earlier that day my wife had texted him "Thanks for the banana bread!" with a wink emoji and he responded with "Anytime" with a wink emoji. She didn't bring any banana bread home. Should I ask my wife what banana bread refers to?

Editor's note: OOP did not leave any comments in this original post

Top Comments

Commenter 1: Don't ask! Play detective, collect evidence. It's either already happened or they're getting ready to make it happen soon. Sorry your going through this. But be smart, keep your cards close to your chest! And be ready to walk. Good luck.

Commenter 2: Him saying you looked great today could have been an inference about her lifting and proper form, especially if she'd been struggling somewhere

But the banana breads and emoji and sharing tik toks is not a business relationship

Commenter 3: I would just be straightforward and ask your wife if banana bread is code for getting dicked down. Trust your instincts with her reaction.

Commenter 4: Sounds like you need to hire a PI. You definitely have a problem and need to deal with it when you have some facts. She's likely to minimize everything if you just confront her, but you may have caught this early enough to put the fear into her. Update me.

Update: August 9, 2026 (next day)

UPDATE: Unusual text messages between wife and personal trainer

UPDATE: I asked my wife about the "banana bread" text. It was all a big misunderstanding about a nutritional study!

Hey everyone, thanks for all the feedback on my original post. A lot of you were insisting that "banana bread" was some kind of gross code word and that I needed to hire a divorce attorney immediately. I was sick to my stomach all night, so this morning I finally sat my wife down and asked her directly what the text meant.

She stared at me in total shock, and then she actually started crying because she felt so bad that I had been worrying about it.

She explained that her trainer is currently completing his master’s thesis in Applied Kinesiology. As part of a study he's running with his top clients, he bakes a hyper-specific, pharmaceutical-grade banana bread that contains raw electrolytes and dense peptide powders.

She sent the text "Thanks for the banana bread!" because the trainer had secretly snuck a slice of the control-group batch into her gym bag after her heavy deadlift session as part of the trial.

The reason she never brought any home to me is because it’s like a controlled substance for his university research! She explained that if an non-participant eats it, it could contaminate his control data and get the trainer kicked out of his master's program.

The wink emojis were just an inside joke between them because his thesis advisor is super strict about protocol, so sneaking her the extra slice was technically "breaking the study rules" for her benefit.

Clear communication with your spouses is key!

Editor's note: OOP did not leave any comments in the update

Top Comments

Commenter 1: 😂😂😂😂😂😂 there's no such thing as "pharmaceutical-grade banana bread", much less "controlled substance banana bread"...

Also, "control data" would be the group that gets the placebo/nothing, meaning it would've just been "regular" banana bread, anyway.

Lastly, "someone outside the control group" consuming the control (OR the actual real deal, doesn't actually matter) can't "contaminate data"- you're not part of the study or SUPPLYING any of the data, so what you consume has zero impact on it.

According to that excuse/logic? During a normal study with a placebo consisting of a sugar pill, an acquaintance or spouse of someone in the control group eating a Tic Tac would somehow magically "contaminate the data".

Commenter 2: Hey man, i honestly hope for the best. I mean it. But i wouldn't buy that. Not in a million years.

First... her trainer is putting things on her gym bag, inside jokes, etc... call me old fashioned, i would shut this shit down ASAP. This feels really inappropriate from my SUBJECTIVE point of view.

I'm a man, and if by any chance my trainer was messing or putting things inside MY bag i would go apeshit. Dunno if she puts changes of clothes in her bag, but i really hope that she does not.

Is it a gym? Yes. But it is his workplace, and I, for one, wouldn't accept anything less than complete professionalism. This isn't it fam

P.S.: Even if it is true that she didn't do anything with ulterior motives, doesn't mean the coach doesn't have them.

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I think we all agree thats bull