Link: https://old.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/1vq0kar/my_experience_of_ecstasy_and_its_lasting_effects/

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The original was posted on /r/autism by /u/jcmush on 2026-08-16 15:51:46+00:00.

Hi,

This is a new alt account. My main is potentially Doxable

I have been wanting to post this for a long time so I apologise if it is long and rambling. Feel free to skip to the questions at the end(or stop reading)

I’m high functioning autistic(responsible job, manage people etc) who was in denial for a long time despite my neurodivergence(and denial) causing havoc, particularly with my persistent and flawed attempts at forming human relationships. I was in my twenties before I understood that girls weren’t flocking towards me as I was made a system administrator of the school computers at 13.

Background over. I took ecstacy for the first time at 22 and my life was transformed for that night. I felt other peoples emotions and understood that even the most trivial was important, I could listen and feel other people. I didn’t shudder when I was hugged.

I took it again, and again, and again but never felt the same. Nonetheless my memories of it have allowed me to form successful relationships. I am considered to have emotional intelligence because I both try and pretend to feel as well as form a model of how they feel using a systems approach - I see hidden feelings others using conventional emotional intelligence might miss.

Now the question:

1 - do others with autism feel the same burst of emotion as I did after taking ecstasy?

2 - how did it change you?

3 - what does it mean?