This one. My current trainer scolds me when I work to the point of hurting myself. I've had people … who said otherwise.

Does learning about count? If so, that I learnt about a belief that claims clumps of cells hold more value than y'know, actual people.

They don't give a shit about life, all they want is control, they seek control over people's bodies, even if it means for the latter to die.

I never understood how some people can be so warped that they believe it's wrong to remove a clump of cells to help a woman's wellbeing, but a-OK for that clump to either:

a) die anyways and have the pregnant person murdered due to lack of legal access to abortion
b) or become a child that then gets shot to death a few years later (or die due to lack of a vaccination)
c) and if they survive childhood; possibly grow up in a country where they don't even have full say over their body, nor have affordable living, nor free and universal education & healthcare, nor walkable, safe environments in a landscape free from reactionary media empires. It sows terrible mental health and obesity.

A certain country has often striked to me as a country of oxymorons in that regard. Vast as it is, there is a wide disparity. Despite the long way they still have to go, the northeast and west coast are much nicer in these regards; but the midwest and deep south have long faced deliberate neglect by wealthy folk.

It's something to address, and I believe we can together do that.

Fat women have no value.

I've been relatively fit most of my life but my most recent medications, which have finally kept me mentally balanced, have made me gain some weight. Now my challenge is to either sacrifice my mental health or my body image, and it's a hard decision because of how overweight women are treated.

Same! I learned that some pain like minor muscle pain from exercise is good, but other pain is not good at all.

I sometimes think about when I was in high school field hockey and hurt my knee pretty bad. Per doctor’s recommendation, I would run as much as I could, then walk when I needed. During one of my walking times, a “teammate” ran by and said “Come on Dkppunk! Pain is weakness leaving the body!” If I had followed her advice, I probably would have been out of sports in general. rolled my eyes then and I roll my eyes now at that line of thinking.

I was taught that complaining about being sick or in pain is something lazy people do. A person who is strong and dependable shows up and gets things done every day regardless of the state of their body. Urgent unlearning for me

I've been thru this too. I went from fit most of my life to overweight in my mid twenties, and people just stopped being decent to me or treating me like I had any value. I was dealing with substance abuse and a bad relationship, and it was devastating.

I'm sorry friend. You do have value

Pain is your body's way of telling you that something is wrong. It should be a sign to take a break and reevaluate rather than push on.

Those ideas are incredibly toxic. Though I've only ever heard athletes actually say, "no pain no gain" aloud, those ideas are present in other fields as well. Music conservatories encourage these exact same toxic attitudes towards practing instruments. Its a highly competitive environment that encourages overtraining, and practicing to or past the point of pain. These ideas cause real harm and need to be opposed everywhere.

I was appalled when I read a survey of professional musicians about pain. The numbers who report being in pain regularly from playing are shockingly high, including the overwhelming majority of woodwinds. The way we encourage musicians to practice is basically the recipe for creating repetitive strain injuries.

Whatever you do, make sure you're being smart about it. Take breaks, get rest, take care of yourself first, your craft second. You do not need to suffer for your art. It is neither helpful nor needed.

I appreciate that, and so do you. I hope you're doing better now.

On the one hand it's been nice not getting cat called and dealing with unwanted flirting. I feel invisible, which is weird because I'm not even that heavy, I'm still fit, I kayak, I can run up stairs without having to catch my breath. On the other hand, I hate the loss of control over my body image and being generally ignored.

Still, the realization has impacted my ability to empathize with overweight people and challenge my biases, but holy hell what a tough lesson to learn.

That calories in/calories out is all you need to focus on and it's the only way to maintain a healthy weight. If you're not losing weight, you're lazy and eating too much.

I struggle with eating enough food during the day even now. That I don't deserve food if I'm overweight. I have to really push myself to eat enough calories and the "food noise" is a constant buzz in my head all day long.

Yup, sporting a little more than normal, being tired but able to catch your breath, and having tired muscles the day after is fine. 'Seeing stars' when you exercise and feeling like you can collapse any moment, however... that's too far.

Pain can also sometimes indicate other conditions, eg. if someone has cramps from non-intense exercise, there might be a magnesium deficiency (in which case drinking water and having supplements might help).

oof i recognise this, i had that as well! at least, for calling in sick. nowadays though i do call in sick if i have a cold or anything worse, so i don't infect others further.

That women who don't shave their legs and underarms are gross and unhygienic.

A couple of years ago I discovered that the hygiene argument for shaving was originally aimed at men with beards, and with right. Before modern hygiene standards, many men had overgrown beards with food crumbs and dirt caught in them - truly disgusting. So when razor companies wanted to expand their market, they managed to convince everyone that visible body hair on women is also gross, which coincided timing wise with women first starting to wear short skirts. Somehow today, it's still acceptable for modern men to have beards and their hygiene is never questioned, only their poor sensitive skin from daily shaving or hiding a weak chin, whereas an unshaven woman remains gross.

Despite knowing this intellectually, and accepting that men don't shave their underarms, I haven't (yet) managed to stop shaving my underarms, not even in winter when no-one other than my husband (who doesn't care) would know. I can't stop feeling that it's unhygienic and a trap for sweat.

Edit: typo

Same done for smoking. When they wanted to have more consumers, they launched the idea of independent women connecting independence with smoking cigarettes like "lights of freedom ". It worked.
Same for many other objects.
Not speaking about toothpaste which is designed for men mouth pH. And many,many more. Even hormonal med for women just recently started to be adopted and tested on women ! Can you imagine this ? Hormonal cure for women based on men test!!!!

That women must be obedient to have a good relationship. Well, I unlearned that 🤣
It's soooo much fun to see men reaction when I just play dumb and they think that they got me and then exposing how ridiculous they are.

I believed this for a really long time, too. Then I got divorced from a man who insisted I keep bare and grew out all of my body hair for the first time in my entire life.

It blew me away that I had never once allowed my body to be in it's natural state before.

Now I keep my body hair for myself AND for other girls and women. I'm wearing shorts right now actually with my incredibly hairy legs on full display. I went on beach/pool vacation earlier this year and didn't shave a single hair off first. Wore my bathing suit in full hairy glory. I wanted little girls and boys to see that women can be hairy like men are and normalize it.

Everyone should do with their body as they feel is right and comfortable for them. Even if you never quit shaving, I hope some of the negative connotations with not shaving fade for you a little bit.