I never see either of you at church?

Why didn't i see anyone when the Westfold fell?

Sorry about all the drama, but to be fair

Nope. https://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Westfold. Me and my ladies didn't notice

Yes, but same reason why you also don't see me in a lingerie store. It would be awkward for everyone, and they don't want me there just hanging out.

Geo-fenced Invisibility Cloaks are the worst

Your church doesn't approve of my magic.

“Them orcs be clubbin. I’m at the staff meeting.”

Jesus was a wizard, no?

A half-celestial cleric, arguably, or a paladin

I should go to the creek more often. That might have a positive impact on my mental health. I'm not doom-orbing all the time (or at all, really), but I spend too much time inside and need to touch more grass and breathe fresher air.

That was before. Now he raised himself from the dead. He's arguably a lich now.

Did you just assume my denomination?

💯

Wizard capable of high level necromancy? ✅
Undead? ✅

Definitely a lich.

Maybe that's why people can't find the "Holy Grail". It's been hidden well because it's his phylactary.

I'd rather not have the rabble try to burn me at the stake

Don't just implicitly invite them! Don't you go at the creek to not see other people?

If your denomination approves of my magic my magic isn't extreme enough.

It's fucking loud in there

I go to cast spells

My neighbor has a pond and it borders our properties, there's frogs and when they sing I swear my blood pressure drops. I used to live next to a river that also had frogs, but also the sound of the water. Even more calming. It really really helps me, I bet it would help other people.

Laughing at Christians is rude and I wouldn't be able to help myself

Arthas rises

Bro I literally go to wizard church, it's fine.