Are they real morons or fantastic trolls?

Definitely trolls.

I once went on a short hike in the summer, and even though it was hot and sunny outside my body kept getting wet? My hand got slippery which made my cane hard to hold, and I smelled bad after that! Don’t hike here, they fuck with you!

Too many mosquitos and the bear assistant didn't help me at all. ⭐⚫⚫⚫⚫

Lots of wildlife made it hard to listen to my music on my Bluetooth speaker. No marking off trail to keep you from getting lost, so you just gotta walk the same path as everyone else. Got to the end of the trail and it just eneded, there wasn't even a hotdog vendor so I had to walk back hungry and thirsty. Couldn't even find someone who worked here to ask for assistance. 1 star.

One star reviews are hilarious in general.

"Joe Schmo's pizza"

Excellent pizza, Joe is warm and welcoming, very clean tables and fantastic service. However, they forgot to add Canadian bacon :(

1/5 stars

I decided to search my local trails to see if I could find any good one star reviews. Nothing as good as these, but I did find a guy giving bad ratings to try to reduce the crowds, who said he paid $700 for parking and broke both knees.

Edit: also found a 1 star review of a nearby lake that says "bro it's just water"

Item was exactly what I needed but arrived 1 day late.

1/5 stars.

(Vendor doesn't control shipping)

I look at 1 star reviews just to get a sense of if idiots hate a thing, or normal, rational people had real issues. If it's just idiots, it usually pushes me more towards the thing.

"I read a bunch of sarcastic posts and I am gullible."

Once again, the curse of /r c/Funny rears its ugly head.

On my city's nature trails there are signs on the entrance of unofficial paths in the woods warning people that the ground could be uneven and slippery.

How pathetic have we become as a species that we can't even let someone walk in the woods without fearing a lawsuit?

Edit: I even remember being told by an employee at Costco to walk the long way through a long empty queue instead of simply going over or under the chain because "I could have hurt myself" doing so. Overprotective nonsense like that makes me want to live in a cabin in the woods away from everyone.

I haven’t been here myself yet but I’ve heard bad things about it. 1/5 stars

i'll go with fantastic morons please

I used to leave reviews on bus stops while waiting. Like “This one has a bench! A+!“ or “homeless guy shitting here, do not recommend”

I tend to ignore 5 star reviews, and read 1 and 4 star reviews.

The 1 star, for the reason you mentioned, and the 4 star because they tend to be more from people who have actual issues that keep it from being 5 star, but aren't petty and saying "everything sucks" because they felt like their waiter was 15 seconds late on a refill.

Also there was a massive storm that just went through the area that disrupted a lot of services.

You wish. Take, as a shining beacon of wisdom, the current US president - he thinks Canada’s wildfires are to blame on them not raking the twigs from between the trees.

My faith in humanity is not high enough for me to agree with you.

" Painful when inserted into rectum, 1/5 stars"

Maybe they should add cherry flavor to it.

The R in your r/ being crossed out confused the hell out of me. I was trying to work out what language that letter came from

That’s a legit complaint though

Or bubbles. Everyone likes bubbles.

Last time I saw this I concluded it's locals leaving 1 Star reviews to lessen tourists visiting these spots.

Nah that's just him reflexively victim blaming, ’cause he's a rapist.

I mean, just because it's natural doesn't mean it's useless information that can't be left in a review. Even if no one can do anything about it, it may help people decide whether to go there.

But "it got dark way too early"? That doesn't help anyone; people can look up sunset times themselves if that's something they're concerned about.

5 stars are often just as silly. 5-star at a restaurant be like "We all had food poisoning the next day but the service was great! Food out fast."

If you like this kind of nonsense, you'll probably love the podcast Beach too Sandy, Water too Wet like I do!

I respect that

Okay got some good ones near my park

This tells a story of someone taking vengeance on the birds.

This is not about people leaving 1-star reviews. This is about people leaving 1-star reviews for lunatic reasons. I once saw one on a hiking app, saying the path was not flat and there were no stairs. I mean sure, that is information that might help you ; but what the hell do you expect from a mountain trail with >500m of elevation difference in a natural reserve. Sure that's not the craziest thing out there, but it baffled me.

Not for a toilet brush

American litigiousness is a direct result of the missing safety net.

A lot fewer people would sue if their slip didn’t land them five to seven figures in debt, make them unable to work, and completely fuck up their finances

Australian Aboriginal nations actually do this. They use cold fire to burn the underbrush, while leaving the trees intact. It's hot enough to burn up the twigs, but not hot enough to harm the trees. It reduces the chance of dangerous fires, and it's been going on for so long, many plants have evolved to require fire as part of their life cycle.

Pretty ridiculous to put a mountain in the middle of a mountain trail. Tsssk.

Gotta shoot out the window a couple times per year to keep the rent low

I don't think this is really as settled or clear as you're making out.

The cold or cool fire you're talking about just means they burn every year, there's less fuel load so the fire burns out before larger trees have time to burn.

Traditionally they weren't doing this out of care for the land, it just makes hunting far easier - kangaroos like to eat the new shoots after a fire, and it's easier to chase / throw things at them if there's thinner underbrush.

Land management organisations have been making informed decisions about controlled burns since forever. They consider all the factors, like fuel load, weather, risks to property, and input from community groups including indigenous Australians.

It's controversial because these controlled burns often become uncontrolled fires.

Things have changed since this type of land management was a thing. Notably people have houses now which they prefer not to be burned down.

Finally:

many plants have evolved to require fire as part of their life cycle.

This is confirmation bias. What happened to the plant species that were vulnerable to fire?

Notably people have houses now which they prefer not to be burned down.

Tough shit, don't build houses in disaster zones. (Flood plains, slide zones, Florida, dry pine forests)

This is confirmation bias

Literally not what that means. Plants, entire ecosystems, evolved to depend on a rhythm of burns. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyrophyte

LOL.

Plenty of houses in Australia have been burned which are not in "disaster" zones. Every property has a bushfire rating which determines required mitigation. Its a genuine risk in many suburbs.

Also, that's exactly what confirmation bias means. In making an assertion that ecosystems evolved to depend on regular burning, you're ignoring all the species which became extinct in prehistory due to regular burning.

The type of land managment practices in use in 18th century Australia are about as useful as the farming practices from that era.

Any suggestion that we should disregard the last 100 years of land management science, in favor if lighting up the nearest bush every other month, is just as absurd as it sounds.

Clearly a conspiracy! They must be putting chemicals in the air!

This feels like a horror story for some reason

just means they burn every year, there's less fuel load so the fire burns out before larger trees have time to burn.

There are several techniques which control traditional burning temperature. They're done at a time of year when the air and soil are only slightly damp, to produce the best temperature, and the conditions on the day are assessed, including the health of the soil. An experienced Elder can tell how hot a fire will burn just from holding a clump of dirt. That's because of the advanced science which these cultures have honed over thousands of years. The burning is also done in a mosaic pattern, a little piece at a time, so the geographical size is controlled and any changes in conditions can be responded to. And before the full burn begins, Elders will make some smoke to warn the animals that a burn is coming. Insects will climb to the treetops, because evolution has taught them it's safe up there.

In making an assertion that ecosystems evolved to depend on regular burning, you're ignoring all the species which became extinct in prehistory due to regular burning.

That's how evolution works. That part of it is called natural selection.

Any suggestion that we should disregard the last 100 years of land management science, in favor if lighting up the nearest bush every other month, is just as absurd as it sounds.

That's not an accurate description of Indigenous fire science at all. I recommend learning the science before you try to critique it. But you are right that European primitives have only been studying the ecosystem for 100 years. They've been messing stuff up for 1/600 of the time Aboriginal scientists have been collecting measurements.

One of Ryan George's videos explained one reason these reviews exist. Google used to have a pretty robust Local Guide designation for reviewers who were actively reviewing locations. They game-ified reviews and naturally some people wanted a high score. So, they would review things like parking lots and other places that are usually not 'review-able'.

Doesn't explain them leaving a nonsensical review like the inevitable march of time existing

They would have a review like "nice trees"

Oh gee, wow.. burn off when it's not summer. Amazing science. We better tell these university dumb dumbs.

I'm curious how they managed to achieve a mosaic pattern with no fire breaks or water or anything really to control where the fire burns.

If you believe any of that I can't help you mate.

I still get notifications that say "your reviews are popular! Over 1200 people have viewed them. Can you fill in details about [some place I stopped in the parking lot to check the map]?”

Its not "natural selection" when people are lighting fires and destroying the native flora and fauna.

Indigenous fire "science" is just like natural "medicine" - any that can withstand scrutiny is just "fire science".

I can tell you don’t know the first thing about the practices you’re trying to describe.

One of us sure doesnt.

I believe they had word count and photo/video buffs to the score of each review. Not saying that's the case here, but the actual content of the review textbox didnt impact the final score in this Local Guides program.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents: The Birds 2 - No More Birds