I always clock how a man handles it when I disagree with him.

When I was dating more frequently, I would always preface an in-person date with a video or phone call. You can learn a lot about whether you get along with someone after a single phone call sometimes.

That is a nice trick!

Where was that trick 30 years ago!?

Usually it was a natural part of the first date, or long before you ever went on a date considering most dates were between at least casual acquaintances. Even on your best behavior, it's difficult to avoid every topic that could put two people at loggerheads, so the first date should bring it out.

Right. I've used the trick on my first date, but this is a way of avoiding even that! I'd have loved that 30 years ago!

Reading this made me realize how rarely I say the word no. I’ll disagree with people, but I tend to phrase it differently.

I would say something like: “Wednesday is tough for me, can we do another day?” I should say no more often, I don’t need to justify shit

Definitely not a new thing, unknown men have always been a potential danger that warrant a bit of testing before engaging with.

Even the manosphere community figured this out and called it a shit-test, one of the few kernels of truth in their backwards worldview.

Please stop attacking me, omg! ;)

Saying no is incredibly difficult for me if I think I care about the other person or will have to interact with them again. I'm sure there are plenty of us here who were never allowed to say 'no' as a kid or young adult.

When i used to date i always postponed the first date on a somewhat short notice with an excuse and observed the reaction. Most guys where cool and understanding but some where actually pissed. So i was always happy i did that test.

I learned that when I was accidentally fifteen minutes late and the guy straight up left and complained. Thing was I told him I was having issues with my bike and had called a cab, so I might be late. Dodged a bullet, there.

Since then I'm always late to a first date (with explanation) just to see if they're the kind of guy who loses their shit.

yes it's saver to do such a test. I think i came up with it in a similar way like you. like i had to shift a date because i wasn't feeling well and the guy wasn't too happy about it. So it became a standard safety check.

this made me laugh

edit: because it's fucking spot on

…raises paw