Yea, yea. Aliens act like they never went through a funky monkey stage. Up tight pricks.

But what if they didn't go through a funky money stage. What if they went through a funky starfish phase?

"No, they weren't. Though we are somehow distantly related." answers the guy next to you, who, as a side note, was never fun at parties.

Says the being going all colorful at the table.

Every species crawls out of the primordial goo one protrusion at a time, judgmental assholes

Something something we all get fucked no matter the hole.

'Bruh, we literally all came from the poop organisms that survived on space rocks from that one planet that exploded a Brazilian years ago. Why are you being weird?'

Alien: Zorgblorx, set the timejump crystal. We're about a million years too late.

"letting people be factually wrong" is how we got to this gestures wildly at the world

Any party that requires you to ignore that to have fun is not really a fun party.

Zorgblorx doesn't know you can just visit a zoo. Or Africa.

Yes, but we aren't descended from modern apes living in Africa or in zoos in 2026.

Earthmen are not proud of their ancestors and never invite them 'round to dinner.

I've always been the one that no one likes because I physically can't countenance allowing people to be blatantly wrong, I either need to correct them or leave the room to blow off steam.

Why would anyone not want to know if they're wrong about something? I can't understand that. When I'm wrong I want someone to point it out so I can learn the right of it.

Hey, hey, monkeys are cool asf. If that's how aliens will be, then I'll be the one to start a war on them 🙃

I feel personally attacked because that was my first thought when reading OPs picture.

Naw that's my cousin. Distant cousin.