What are the odds on Kalshi?

need to vent?

sus

Vent about how stoopid people can get

Life, uhh, finds a way

Some sting ray enthusiast from the staff transported sting ray semen into the tank.

How slow is a stingrays metabolism and ovulation cycle?

Can it hold onto a fertilized egg for a long while?

I checked and looks like they may be able to hold onto sperm for a few years.

Painted turtles can hold sperms for up to 3 years and fertilize eggs from multiple clutches with saved sperm.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_taxa_that_use_parthenogenesis

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-02-14/charlotte-the-stingray-pregnant-without-mate/103467922

https://www.npr.org/2024/06/03/nx-s1-4990216/charlotte-stingray-pregnant-not-disease

It was bullfuck I tell ya

yeah thats what i was thinking hell look at cuddlefish they literally mate with a bunch of males, save their sperm separately in packets and then pick the 'best' to optimize the genetic quality. nature is wack. would be wild to learn another creature unlocked Parthenogenesis tho.

ඞ

Shark ray pewpew

Cuddlefish are a fictional species from the game Subnautica. I think you mean cuttlefish.

I just kind of assumed that stingrays were capable of parthenogenesis.

Did a cursory search and this was the first result which put a dampener on the whole situation unfortunately.

well thats just ducking great. (obviously my autocorrect is attention seeking)

amogus

Someone from the staff is three stingrays in a trenchcoat.

Unfortunately a sad followup:

https://www.npr.org/2024/07/01/nx-s1-5025232/charlotte-the-stingray-pregnant-dies-north-carolina

thanks. i needed you outweird my coworker.

Poor touch starved autocorrect :(

Sounds like they don’t have time to cuddle.

I was doing tasks! Teal is sus

Who's that man with the three piece suit?
Lookin' at stingbabe like she's mighty cute
Who's that man with the three sharp limbs?
Always takin' her on romantic swims

Stingray daa-aad, nobody suspects a thing!

they literally mate with a bunch of males, save their sperm separately in packets and then pick the 'best' to optimize the genetic quality

Sounds like they've perfected the process and us humans could learn a thing or two from them 😄

What, you've never nutted in a stingray before?

That's how human pregnancy works in the SF novel Ilium

Sting Jesus, while obviously a joke, doesn't really make sense does it? Wouldn't it be Sting Mary? Or Sting Jesus's Mom? I'm not a Bibleologist of course, I only play one in the internet.

Big wheel keep on turnin'. Sting Mary keep on burnin'.

I'm extremely surprised '''''they''''' would think there's any species of shark could father babies with a ray, though but then maybe I'm just a big ole dumby for thinking they would be in reference to the keepers and support staff who cared for and/or studied Sting Mary.

Afterwards, it stings when you pee

Me nutting in a stingray isn't the surprise. Her being pregnant is the surprise. This one isn't on me!

ELI5 WTF I'm looking at, please.

It’s because they kept her instead of sending her to a larger aquarium or marine biology center that could support Charlotte.

two scenes from jurassic Park spliced together for comedic effect

edit for extra context: the smaller man - Dr Alan Grant portrayed by Sam Neill - is taken from a scene at the start of the movie where he meets a dinosaur for the first time - a sickly triceratops - and is listening to its breathing. The larger man - mathematician Ian Malcom portrayed by Jeff Goldblum - is taken from later in the movie where he was injured in a dinosaur attack and thus appears in dishelved clothing/a state of undress.

They have replaced the triceratops and the background from the Grant/Neill scene with Malcolm/Goldblum and surrounds.

Okay, but the baby would be?

Put a fricken laser on it

That sounds like parthenogenesis to me.

danke 💕

Dead, there was no baby.

And a surprisingly large number of species can do it.

This is the kind of early morning espresso/kratom talk I can get behind!

Rollin' on the river!

Sting Mary's womb was indeed empty, but the shape of her uterine void was mapped and used to build a functional replica of the salty messiah. When he was found floating down the Nile on a congealed foam of textile factory chemicals, the prophecy was fulfilled.

Source? The provided link said she was sick which made it look like she was pregnant.

A larger aquarium might have saved her but it feels disingenuous to imply they kept her despite that when it sounds like they didn't even know there was even a problem requiring escalation until it was way too late.

Now we just need Jim Carrey crawling out of his asshole

Eugenics has been pretty problematic for humans in the past.

Honey bees are another good example of this.

Sting Jesus is the bebe.

They knew there was a problem months before she died, and even if they didn’t, they should have sent her somewhere with the proper resources. Instead, they kept her in a tiny “aquarium,” which is just a small room of fish tanks of aquatic animals that shouldn’t be there.

They kept her because she was making tons of money.

Had they sent her to a proper pacific research aquarium that is knowledgable about her species, she may not have died.

Would be, not is. Just trying to be pedantic over someone trying to be funny, don't mind me.

We just went snorkeling with stingrays in the Bahamas, and they had the same thing happen. The enclosure was only females, and yet one of them has gotten pregnant.

I assumed she was pregnant when the put them in the enclosure and they didn't know it? Or that they weren't as good at distinguishing male/female as they thought they were.

But you know, maybe there are some cool optional hermaphroditic traits in sting rays that biologists are just currently unaware of.

And to play us out, here's Sting Jesus with Streams of Gold.

Before Sting there was Police. So it's Police Mary