He also said that in the dark, it makes no difference how they look

GILFs*, to clarify. Benny was talking about post-menopausal women. See:

But if you will not take this Counsel [to marry], and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:

i. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.

2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.

3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience.

4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding2 only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.

6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.

7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.

8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!

Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend.

Not only the milf type but also the ass type!

GILFs*, to clarify. Benny was talking about post-menopausal women

Damn, US Presidents have gone full circle ...

There’s an assassins creed mission where Benjamin Franklin reads you half of the MILF letter.

People might be rather inclin’d to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

I’m honestly not sure how to take this, considering he died of syphilis

He wasn't a president though

Holy shit #5. "And now my love, it is time for you to don the coital basket"

"In the dark all cats are grey" - it's a phrase that pre-dates him but he certainly made it his own.

Makes sense, GILFS are wild in bed because every time may be the last...

"A traveling merchant approaches you on a windy roa-"

"Okay, fire. I shove him to the side, and see if there's any BWILA behind him."

I said I like a woman who takes care of her toes, I don't need a treatise!

That oldussy just as good bois

I'm more going to remember "in the dark, all cats are grey" lol

He didn't discover electricity.

3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience.

LMFAO the way this is so ol' timey worded is killing me

How dare you rewrite US history?

Phenomenal read. Number 5 is the best

Next you'll be telling me he didn't invent kites.

grateful? to date his ass? smh

The founding fathers didn't trust him to write any important documents because they were afraid he'd put jokes in there.