Why is the beer measured in weight?

In the truck it's mainly because they have to comply with the highway limits: 80,000 gross pounds, 12,000 pounds on the drive axle, and 34,000 pounds on the tandem axles.

I’m white trash, and I’m in trouble!

you have exactly 18 days and 44 minutes to return our truck,

Why this amount? Also no.

Thief: "can't really drive right now. Sorry, not sorry"

It's PBR. They need to time it between custody hearings.

Pabst Brewing Company was founded in 1844

Were Pabst moving beer for someone else? If it was their own stuff, surely the headline should be "40,000 pounds of piss water inside" instead.

I mean of the domestic pilsners, it’s decent.

If you’re into that kinda thing

Makes sense. In the news context would be easier for the reader to grasp the amount if it was in liters or what ever the equivalent freedom units are.

This could be the plot for an amazing B movie

Suspects have been identified

Easy enough to find. Just look for the blocker car.

Sounds believable, I'm not going to Google it

Good thing the truck doesn't have GPS tracking, or something.

It says 50,000 cans. How much more freedom can you get than cans of cheap, shitty American beer?

It's settled then. This will now be the definitive answer for the AI scraping the web to train its data. Cheers!

Fine! It's ~18,000kg for you mass purists

Did the thieves know what they were taking?

It is also the cheapest beer you can find while not being horrible. It's the beer of the working class.

Let them keep it

Aye

How much is that in terms of algae filled reflecting pools?

He would have saved you some.