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LadyButterfly she/her piefed.blahaj.zone LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2025-06-10
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399   Original
h0tbeef lemmy.zip h0tbeef@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2026-08-20
#2 · (edited) Quote Reply

Dudes fucking do that?!?

I used to be a bartender (I’m a cis-man), and I would get upset when a customer touched my forearm (multiple genders did this)

What the fuck is wrong with people

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pelespirit sh.itjust.works pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2023-06-14
#3 · Quote Reply

Dudes fucking do that?!? I used to be a bartender (I’m a cis-man), and I would get upset when a customer touched my forearm (multiple genders did this) What the fuck is wrong with people

I'm guessing (hoping) they're drunk?

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voxthefox lemmy.blahaj.zone voxthefox@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2025-05-05
#4 · Quote Reply

I dunno, there's a lot of white on that sign, I liked my odds... /s

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hash slrpnk.net hash@slrpnk.net
Joined: 2024-06-13
#5 · Quote Reply

I'm guessing (hoping) they're drunk?

Sometimes I'm amazed how little inhibition loosening people need. Yeah alcohol loosens me up, but I still won't sing let alone touch someone without consent?

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velma sh.itjust.works velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#6 · Quote Reply

I'm guessing (hoping) they're drunk?

There are a lot of men who interpret any woman being neutral or kind to them as flirting.

Same as there are a lot of men who interpret a woman being neutral or disinterested as rude.

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velma sh.itjust.works velma@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-07
#7 · (edited) Quote Reply

Dudes fucking do that?!? I used to be a bartender (I’m a cis-man), and I would get upset when a customer touched my forearm (multiple genders did this) What the fuck is wrong with people

(some) Dudes absolutely do that.

They’ll also slap women’s butts, tell them to smile, ask for their phone number, wait at the bar until the woman’s shift is over, etc.

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h0tbeef lemmy.zip h0tbeef@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2026-08-20
#8 · (edited) Quote Reply

I'm guessing (hoping) they're drunk?

I mean, I guess, but I’ve been extremely embarrassingly drunk many times in the past, and I’ve never attempted to kiss a stranger (or any unwilling party, for that matter), on the hand or otherwise

If someone loses that much of their inhibitions while drinking then they probably shouldn’t drink

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applebusch (she/her) lemmy.blahaj.zone applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2024-11-11
#9 · Quote Reply

Dudes fucking do that?!? I used to be a bartender (I’m a cis-man), and I would get upset when a customer touched my forearm (multiple genders did this) What the fuck is wrong with people
[deleted]
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Vanth reddthat.com Vanth@reddthat.com
Joined: 2023-06-22
#10 · Quote Reply

Yep. Even if it's 1 in a 1000, that's still once or more per week at a busy bar. Our bouncers closed their night when us bartenders were all safely to our cars.

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OldChicoAle lemmy.world OldChicoAle@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-10-26
#11 · Quote Reply

Dudes fucking do that?!? I used to be a bartender (I’m a cis-man), and I would get upset when a customer touched my forearm (multiple genders did this) What the fuck is wrong with people

They would reach over the bar??

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Lady Butterfly she/her reddthat.com LadyButterfly@reddthat.com
Joined: 2025-07-04
#12 · Quote Reply

Dudes fucking do that?!? I used to be a bartender (I’m a cis-man), and I would get upset when a customer touched my forearm (multiple genders did this) What the fuck is wrong with people

Hey friend! Thanks for taking our point seriously. We are trans inclusive so please don't comment again have a good weekend ❤️

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h0tbeef lemmy.zip h0tbeef@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2026-08-20
#13 · Quote Reply

(some) Dudes absolutely do that. They’ll also slap women’s butts, tell them to smile, ask for their phone number, wait at the bar until the woman’s shift is over, etc.

Actually I’m now realizing that I’ve seen a few of those happen (I’ve seen the smiling one a lot actually), and have become somewhat desensitized, so they fall into a category of “upsetting but not surprising”.

I think the hand thing threw me for a bit of a loop because that’s some cartoon wolf shit

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h0tbeef lemmy.zip h0tbeef@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2026-08-20
#14 · Quote Reply

[deleted]

I apologize, I have a bad habit of not reading the rules (or noticing which sub I’m in, I came in from the ‘All’ feed).

I’ve just now read the rules, and it definitely says that only women can post, but it was less clear about if men would be welcome to comment (based on your comment it seems like maybe we’re not? [I have ASD, so I often need things spelled out for me explicitly, I’m not trying to be pedantic])

I’m sorry if I’m intruding, that was not my intention. If this is a safe space I’ll gladly see myself out.

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h0tbeef lemmy.zip h0tbeef@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2026-08-20
#15 · Quote Reply

They would reach over the bar??

Yes. It would be bad enough if they just briefly touched me to grab my attention, but often they would keep their hand on my forearm while speaking to me.

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h0tbeef lemmy.zip h0tbeef@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2026-08-20
#16 · Quote Reply

Hey friend! Thanks for taking our point seriously. We are trans inclusive so please don't comment again have a good weekend ❤️

Upon reflecting I recognize now what the bad thing I said was.

To be clear, I’m just an idiot and don’t think carefully enough about what I’m saying or typing until it’s already out of my head.

I wasn’t trying to be discriminatory or exclusionary. I’m sorry everyone. I won’t bother you again.

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Wren lemmy.today Wren@lemmy.today
Joined: 2025-11-04
#17 · Quote Reply

I dunno, there's a lot of white on that sign, I liked my odds... /s

Do you know where you're commenting?

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Wren lemmy.today Wren@lemmy.today
Joined: 2025-11-04
#18 · Quote Reply

I started bartending at sports events when I was 18. The tips were glorious, the men were not. So many life lessons learned in a very short amount of time.

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voxthefox lemmy.blahaj.zone voxthefox@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2025-05-05
#19 · Quote Reply

Do you know where you're commenting?

Sorry I did not notice the community until right now, ill jot respond back after this to leave you this space. I was just trying to empathize with women by satirising how the type of man would view the sign that it was created for.

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Lady Butterfly she/her reddthat.com LadyButterfly@reddthat.com
Joined: 2025-07-04
#20 · Quote Reply

Upon reflecting I recognize now what the bad thing I said was. To be clear, I’m just an idiot and don’t think carefully enough about what I’m saying or typing until it’s already out of my head. I wasn’t trying to be discriminatory or exclusionary. I’m sorry everyone. I won’t bother you again.

I didn’t read your comment badly mate... i read it as taking the meme seriously. It was obviously new information that shocked you, you took it seriously and had supportive anger on our behalf. Plus you're politely leaving without argument cos you realised we don't allow cis men. There's no issue at all, it's fine, and hope you have a lovely weekend 🥰

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Lady Butterfly she/her reddthat.com LadyButterfly@reddthat.com
Joined: 2025-07-04
#21 · Quote Reply

I apologize, I have a bad habit of not reading the rules (or noticing which sub I’m in, I came in from the ‘All’ feed). I’ve just now read the rules, and it definitely says that only women can post, but it was less clear about if men would be welcome to comment (based on your comment it seems like maybe we’re not? [I have ASD, so I often need things spelled out for me explicitly, I’m not trying...

It's fine no issue. Rule is no cis men, only women, non binary and trans can post or comment. We're strict about it ❤️

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mystic-macaroni lemmy.ml wuphysics87@lemmy.ml
Joined: 2023-06-05
#22 · Quote Reply

I sincerely didn't get it at first because most of the area of the sign in white

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myyass lemmy.world myyass@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-09-02
#23 · Quote Reply

Watching an anime that's the inverse, the smoking cigarettes one. Sigh hopefully the next episode catches up to the light novel. If it's not bad, enjoy the attention if it's nice; eventually no one gives a shit about you.

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CentipedeFarrier piefed.social CentipedeFarrier@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-11-21
#24 · Quote Reply

(some) Dudes absolutely do that. They’ll also slap women’s butts, tell them to smile, ask for their phone number, wait at the bar until the woman’s shift is over, etc.

Or lead us where we are already going with a hand on the small of our back.

Holy shit do NOT touch me like you know me and earned my affections, you absolute shitheel. Im capable of moving where I want when I want without help from a stranger.

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Wren lemmy.today Wren@lemmy.today
Joined: 2025-11-04
#25 · Quote Reply

Watching an anime that's the inverse, the smoking cigarettes one. Sigh hopefully the next episode catches up to the light novel. If it's not bad, enjoy the attention if it's nice; eventually no one gives a shit about you.

It's not nice attention, that is the point.

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myyass lemmy.world myyass@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-09-02
#26 · Quote Reply

It's not nice attention, that is the point.

I guess you have a point. I'm more used to Asian cultures of expressing attention. That's why I mentioned the anime.

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absGeekNZ lemmy.nz absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz
Joined: 2023-06-29
#27 · Quote Reply

I sincerely didn't get it at first because most of the area of the sign in white

This.

Sign should be light blue or something.

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ZDL lazysoci.al ZDL@lazysoci.al
Joined: 2025-06-06
#28 · Quote Reply

Sorry I did not notice the community until right now, ill jot respond back after this to leave you this space. I was just trying to empathize with women by satirising how the type of man would view the sign that it was created for.

When having the rules pointed out to you after you've broken them, it is not an invitation to break the rules again so you can explain why you're breaking the rules. Again.

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Wren lemmy.today Wren@lemmy.today
Joined: 2025-11-04
#29 · (edited) Quote Reply

I guess you have a point. I'm more used to Asian cultures of expressing attention. That's why I mentioned the anime.

I don't know what anime you watch or what it's about. By the way, are you following the rules of this community?

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Avicenna programming.dev Avicenna@programming.dev
Joined: 2025-11-07
#30 · Quote Reply

C. She is just a nice person

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captainlezbian lemmy.world captainlezbian@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-29
#31 · Quote Reply

What the shit‽ Why would anyone assume otherwise‽

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captainlezbian lemmy.world captainlezbian@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-29
#32 · Quote Reply

Sometimes I'm amazed how little inhibition loosening people need. Yeah alcohol loosens me up, but I still won't sing let alone touch someone without consent?

I've never been so drunk as to make a move on a bartender, and I've been destructively drunk

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