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Missionaries confuse paw cleaner for flesh light
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Wren lemmy.today Wren@lemmy.today
Joined: 2025-11-04
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117   Original
reallykindasorta slrpnk.net reallykindasorta@slrpnk.net
Joined: 2024-04-19
#2 · Quote Reply

tbf I know exactly which paw cleaner device and they don’t look that dissimilar

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supernicepojo lemmy.world supernicepojo@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-07-08
#3 · Quote Reply

Without further evidence I choose to believe their lust consumed them and they attempted to use it right there on the porch in front of god and everyone.

71
waz feddit.uk waz@feddit.uk
Joined: 2023-06-13
#4 · Quote Reply

Don’t judge other people by your own standards.
They just exposed themselves as onanists.

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BigDanishGuy sh.itjust.works BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2023-07-03
#5 · Quote Reply

How do these missionaries even know about flesh lights? How did they react? So much info is missing here. It's just a picture and no other context than that sentence.

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TheLowestStone lemmy.world TheLowestStone@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-22
#6 · Quote Reply

tbf I know exactly which paw cleaner device and they don’t look that dissimilar

And that's why I don't keep them next to each other... anymore.

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Wren Moderator Wren@lemmy.today
Joined: 2025-11-04
#7 · Quote Reply

How do these missionaries even know about flesh lights? How did they react? So much info is missing here. It's just a picture and no other context than that sentence.

That's the community you're in.

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Remember_the_tooth lemmy.world Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
Joined: 2025-01-23
#8 · Quote Reply

https://packaged-media.redd.it/u4u51mwrtsnh1/pb/m2-res_480p.mp4?m=DASHPlaylist.mpd&var=sgpssan&v=1&e=1788728400&s=26b8db3c45716ebceb710581ae25e65975162ba5

Sorry for the r-link, but that seems to be the source.

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SkyezOpen lemmy.world SkyezOpen@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-08-03
#9 · Quote Reply

Don’t judge other people by your own standards. They just exposed themselves as onanists.

Which isn't even a real thing by the way. Onan was smote because he refused to impregnate his dead brother's wife, which he was obligated to do under levirate marriage tradition. More modern theologists said "well we don't do that anymore so let's pretend he got smote for jorkin' it" and thus Onanism was completely bastardized.

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zqwzzle lemmy.ca zqwzzle@lemmy.ca
Joined: 2023-06-07
#10 · Quote Reply

Without further evidence I choose to believe their lust consumed them and they attempted to use it right there on the porch in front of god and everyone.

Do they still have hump jumpers for flesh lights?

10
jdr lemmy.ml jdr@lemmy.ml
Joined: 2021-07-28
#11 · Quote Reply

How do these missionaries even know about flesh lights? How did they react? So much info is missing here. It's just a picture and no other context than that sentence.

Joseph Smith saw them with his magic glasses. Have you not even read the third testament?

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BigDanishGuy sh.itjust.works BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2023-07-03
#12 · Quote Reply

Joseph Smith saw them with his magic glasses. Have you not even read the third testament?

Have you not even read the third testament?

No ... wait, it goes "old", "new", and "third"? What kinda naming standard is that? Why not "newer"? I mean this is half a tier better than "new_final_final"

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SirSamuel lemmy.world SirSamuel@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-08-05
#13 · Quote Reply

Which isn't even a real thing by the way. Onan was smote because he refused to impregnate his dead brother's wife, which he was obligated to do under levirate marriage tradition. More modern theologists said "well we don't do that anymore so let's pretend he got smote for jorkin' it" and thus Onanism was completely bastardized.

Sodomy too

There's no reason given for what sin(s) the people of the region of Sodom and Gomorrah practiced to offend God. A lot of people focus on the fact that the MEN of the city wanted to rape the MEN who were guests of Lot. This glosses over the fact that the men of the city wanted to RAPE the men who were guests of Lot.

Sodomy is associated with non-reproductive sexual activity, when in fact it should be associated with male on male rape. So also completely bastardized

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athatet lemmy.zip athatet@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2025-09-12
#14 · Quote Reply

Have you not even read the third testament? No ... wait, it goes "old", "new", and "third"? What kinda naming standard is that? Why not "newer"? I mean this is half a tier better than "new_final_final"

The Book of Mormon calls itself the third testament of Jesus Christ. The old and New Testament being the first two.

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TrackinDaKraken lemmy.world DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world
Joined: 2025-02-26
#15 · Quote Reply

How do these missionaries even know about flesh lights? How did they react? So much info is missing here. It's just a picture and no other context than that sentence.

I'm sure they're taught all about them as children.

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TrackinDaKraken lemmy.world DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world
Joined: 2025-02-26
#16 · (edited) Quote Reply

I mean...

https://youtu.be/piwZXQq4nfM?t=25

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jdr lemmy.ml jdr@lemmy.ml
Joined: 2021-07-28
#17 · (edited) Quote Reply

Have you not even read the third testament? No ... wait, it goes "old", "new", and "third"? What kinda naming standard is that? Why not "newer"? I mean this is half a tier better than "new_final_final"

Unfortunately the last prophet wasn't familiar with semver, git, or even Word 97

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Equinox1289 sh.itjust.works Equinox1289@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-05-14
#18 · Quote Reply

How do these missionaries even know about flesh lights? How did they react? So much info is missing here. It's just a picture and no other context than that sentence.

Utah has the highest porn consumption in the country. The shame is how they keep you in the cult.

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xtr0n sh.itjust.works xtr0n@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2023-07-10
#19 · Quote Reply

The Book of Mormon calls itself the third testament of Jesus Christ. The old and New Testament being the first two.

Wait. But Jesus isn’t in the Old Testament? So how can TBOM be the 3rd testament of Jesus? It can be the 3rd testament or it can be the 2nd testament of Jesus but not the 3rd of Jesus.

I mean it’s also all made up fairy tales ans IDK why I would expect logical consistency from the Mormon church.

3
Mrs_deWinter feddit.org Mrs_deWinter@feddit.org
Joined: 2024-06-27
#20 · Quote Reply

https://packaged-media.redd.it/u4u51mwrtsnh1/pb/m2-res_480p.mp4?m=DASHPlaylist.mpd&var=sgpssan&v=1&e=1788728400&s=26b8db3c45716ebceb710581ae25e65975162ba5 Sorry for the r-link, but that seems to be the source.

Judging by their reaction, having a fleshlight on one's porch seems like a sensible idea.

5
trebach sh.itjust.works trebach@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2026-08-10
#21 · Quote Reply

Utah has the highest porn consumption in the country. The shame is how they keep you in the cult.

Also isolation. If you get disfellowshipped, other Mormons can't even speak to you without being punished.

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athatet lemmy.zip athatet@lemmy.zip
Joined: 2025-09-12
#22 · Quote Reply

Wait. But Jesus isn’t in the Old Testament? So how can TBOM be the 3rd testament of Jesus? It can be the 3rd testament or it can be the 2nd testament of Jesus but not the 3rd of Jesus. I mean it’s also all made up fairy tales ans IDK why I would expect logical consistency from the Mormon church.

Idk man. Mormons.

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sinwell infosec.pub Septimaeus@infosec.pub
Joined: 2023-07-09
#23 · Quote Reply

Also isolation. If you get disfellowshipped, other Mormons can't even speak to you without being punished.

Can’t help feeling like “disfellowshipped” strikes a different tone than the words it replaced (shunned, excommunicated, defrocked, exiled, etc).

It’s as if someone invented a word that means, specifically, “you are no longer welcome to partake in the fake friendship I share with others, and I will no longer pretend to care about you” to which the only appropriate response is… gratitude?

3
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