Young people won't quite get this, but if you are older like me, Livejournal was the precursor to Facebook and was intensely, deeply intimate. I have friends there from over 25 years ago to this day, and we know EVERYTHING about one another. It's an intimacy that other social media cannot replicate. If you were there you'll know.

My LJ friend died today after becoming suddenly and mysteriously ill. She was younger than me, and we don't really know why yet. I'm devastated and I don't know how to grieve her. I never met her, never talked to her on the phone, but we knew everything and loved each other so much. We only had stupid Facebook to connect with after Livejournal became a puppet of the Russian government, and it's so much harder to be intimate there, but we still knew each other so well.

I don't know what to do with this grief for someone I never met, and all my memories of her, things probably her own family didn't know in many cases. I know how hard many things were for her, and she knows all the shit I went through. She was smart and funny and loved her children, and her parents were shitheads, still are, and her husband did not appreciate everything she gave up for him, and while she loved him I think he took her for granted and it hurt to see sometimes, but her devotion to her kids was total. She made me laugh and showed up in moments that I appreciated so much. It's devastating, and nobody understands. It's not the same as online friends on other social media, and I cannot begin to express how much it hurts. I loved you so much K.

Yeah. Shit.

That’s rough. I’m so sorry for your loss.

You did meet her though. You knew her and she knew you. Maybe you were never in the same room, but you knew her and she was a friend. You grieve her the same way as you'd grieve anyone else you cared for and loved.
I'm sorry for your loss, but please dont minimize your relationship just because you never talked on the phone.

That's a real, true, and deep friendship. I'm so happy for you two for being able to share that. And I'm so sad for you for having to grieve that.

Sending some love and support your way ❤️

Thanks that's helpful. Really appreciate the negativity.

So fucking what? I'm grieving someone I loved from there, why would you say that? Ignorant really.

Fuck that guy. He just wants attention and validation for a scummy, sad life. You can tell when people dont have any real friends. Just block the troll and move on.