And I bet that if you asked Tolkien about a conspiracy, he would say Sam is the chief co-conspirator.

Okay, so just goto the Shire, check all the burrow houses and find out whether any of the hobbits are hiding any film equipment. How much can a ticket to middle earth even cost? A thousand dollars?

How much can a ticket to middle earth even cost? A thousand dollars?

100 bananas.

just started thinking how fucked up kubrick's lotr would be.

Already went down that rabbit, sorry, hobbit hole once. No good, they're in on it. Any other ideas?

Ralph Bakshi's version had its moments. But still less surreal than Kubrick would have done.

Ridiculous conspiracy theory as always. It's so much easier to explain everything if it happened IRL:

• we have the tech for everything: ring that makes you schizo (my crazy ex's engagement ring), big ass elephants (elephants on steroids), shitty stale bread (my COVID-era try at sourdough), potatoes (potatoes)
• this explains perfectly why the eagles didn't bring the ring into Mordor (couldn't be arsed. Can't be more real than that)
• movies of this type would surely cost tens of millions of dollars. Ridiculous
• Saruman is some big badass. I don't think an actor could play that unless having some serious background killing people IRL or something like that
• I remember a scene when Aragorn kicks a helmet, the 'actor' would have seriously injured himself

Saruman is some big badass. I don't think an actor could play that unless having some serious background killing people IRL or something like that

"Peter, do you know the sound somebody makes that was just stabbed in the back?"

I remember a scene when Aragorn kicks a helmet, the 'actor' would have seriously injured himself

It started off strong as a 7/10 shitpost, but this last line made it a perfect 5/7 for me

"He then proceeded to tell me about some rather clandestine parts of WWII"

If that’s a CGI character, how do you explain this?

Peter, do you know the brain of a Nazi has a very distinctive taste? There is something
mysterious about it, something that also pairs remarkably well with the distinct look of terror that stays engraved in their dead eyes after I had my 'business' with their owner. Have you ever whispered words of anguish to a man about to be killed in an extremely painful way, Peter? Do you know the power you feel in these moments? You feel like a god, Peter.

Well, its a painted wall? What's there to explain? Shut the fuck up Donni!