Force mom to go see a doctor.

"The Lotto numbers for 2026-09-12 are 16 20 25 33 39 45, Superzahl 0."

Sounds materialistic, but I haven't found a solution for any of the issues I had 5 years ago, I didn't make any major wrong decisions since then, and stuff like "buy RAM and GPUs" is irrelevant after winning millions of eurobucks.

You should just break up with her while you have the chance

Stop the house from burning down on April 18th, 2024 at 5AM.

CLS's stock price will increase by 3,860.57% over the next five years.

If we had more time, then you could have sent back the lotto numbers from 5 years ago

Start planning a good sentence to send to yourself today and have it ready 5 years from now.

When you apply for van insurance make sure you siren the names of the drivers correctly!

"The winning numbers for Friday, Sep17, 2021 are 14 17 20 27 32 EZ 3 7"

Warum lange warten?

<3 same message, friend. Same message. :(

Look at Herr "I have smart ideas when put on the spot" over here.

Put as much money into your index funds and don't stop until October 13th, 2026. Then convert it all to cash.

Find a new job when Frank retires. Jason, his replacement, is a fuckin idiot.

YOU LIKE WOMEN!

Remember to bring your protective gear, and don't ever ride even once if you don't have it - you will suffer the consequences for years.

Or possibly: All behavioural changes (even seemingly positive ones like being more brave, assertive, active, loud and outgoing) are symptoms of something going on in your pets, so prioritise going to the vet more often when they appear - catching issues early means less damage to surrounding organs, less suffering and cheaper treatment.

Make shure you do administrative stuff well ahead of deadlines, then double and triple check you actually did it.

Plot twist, your past self receives the sentence verbally and they have nothing to write it down to.

Wait what happens on October 14?

The sequence of the numbers is not important and it's not all or nothing (5 correct numbers would still net a decent amount of money), so there's a chance that I'd recall enough to make use of it anyway. But it's a good point, this kind of thing hinges on the specifics of how the sentence is transmitted much more than something like "take out fire insurance" or "don't trust X".

Buy Nvidia stock.

"Hi, how ya doing?"

Clearly someone from five years in Semisimian's future just gave him the inside scoop.

Just leave, he doesn’t love you.

Divorce him now!

Dump this job, it's making you miserable.

Staying in Japan is a mistake. When your company cuts the rest of the staff, GTFO to Europe.

(it will be up to a future version of me to send another message about if/how that works out).

You’ll get the job, eventually, but you have to keep trying!

"I'm going in dry"

You're trans. Divorce the alcoholic abuser and start being happy

Do everything you can to save the money faster to buy the house sooner

Don’t let mom get that surgery. She is the glue that keeps us all together and we need more years of that.

Don't ever go bouldering again or you'll regret it for the rest of your life

Buy gamestop, study in cafes not uni. Also :3.

o7 gl

It's me 5 years from the future, [secret I've never told anyone should prove it] buy European defense stocks before 2022.

stay single

Eat the mushrooms

That anxiety, that depression, that feeling of never fitting in, that feeling of either boredom or overwhelm... is ADHD.

Tbh, I wish I could transmit this to my past self 30 years ago.

"Nvidia is going to be stable for longer than you think."

Do. Not. Seek. The treasure!

Stay home all day long, no matter what, on January 3rd, 2022.

"It'll all work out brilliantly"

...receives message whilst scuba diving...spits out regulator in frustration...drowns. Never gets to send message from the future so doesn't drown.

Timeline broken, existence ends except for an endless five-year loop.

Woops!

"Fuck you, loser!"

Don't sell your Bitcoin yet.

Just give up already.

Don't move across the country with him, get a divorce, your gut instincts are right, he's been cheating on you this whole time and he's about to financially ruin you.

I'm so sorry

Bitcoin peaks at $100k

Winning numbers are public record. Don't make yourself wait the full five years!