At first it's an embarrassment. Inconvenient. Boring.

But when I stuck with it, after a few days I'd feel a little better.

After a year, I got to look at myself in the mirror and go "holy shit I did it"

I'm really struggling now. I miss feeling good

Part of the whole process with the gym, is that sometimes it becomes routine. It becomes part of you. You ARE the "gym-goer" and sometimes it'll be not fun. But you stick with it because you know that's what works for you.

Maybe you can find that in the program. Sometimes it's hard or boring and that's normal but it's the way you found the healthy version of yourself?

If it's not working for you, maybe reach out to your sponsor, therapist, or other help resource

❤️... For as much as an internet stranger can give

What is the 12 steps exactly

It's part of the recovery process for alcoholics and addicts that has been used for decades. The traditional AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) 12-step program has a religious core that requires belief in a power greater than yourself in order for you to successfully combat your addiction, but the basic 12-steps are frequently referenced without regard for the religious element just as a set of principles.

It will get better from there. There will be so much more ways to feel good, happy, and fulfilled. It might take a while, but the path you chose is the best.

Step 1- admit you have a problem
Step 2- agree that the problem can be solved
Step 3- commit yourself to solving the problem
Step 4- take a moral inventory
etc

They were first written in early 20th century by members of alcoholics anonymous but have been adapted to solving any lifelong behavior problem (gambling, risk taking, sexual behaviors, etc)