Update: I applied. I choose hope. Thanks, everyone :)

Today my wife sent me a job listing she thought was really up my alley, and it just made me feel more stressed than excited.

I worked the same type of job in college (magazine editor), but back then it was for a smaller community and it was only part-time, though I took over for my boss during two maternity leaves. After college, I accepted a much more boring dead-end in the same field, but it's full time and pays the bills, is work-from-home and has allowed me to make tons of progress on my gender transition. I still work there to this day.

I'm really hesitant to apply for this new job. Most of the people in my life are telling me to just go for it, but aren't really factoring in everything that's at stake. I feel like no one really gets the things I'm worried about:

• My (purple) state is going through a really grueling election season that could end with either a Democrat trifeca or a Republican majority across the branches. If the challenging Republican wins governor or leads Congress, it would be devastating for trans rights. I'm afraid I'd lose my medication and the ability to legally drive without being accused of fraud, and driving's a part of this job. We're not sure right now if we're staying here, and the application window closes long before the election.
• I'm really worried that my current employers will be contacted and I'll be let go. As a trans person, I don't take being employed for granted and don't feel like I'm in a good position to gamble my life away. Unemployment is common in our community and I'm really scared of losing everything.
• I feel like I'm not far enough in my transition to work in an office. Officewear is a big gap in my wardrobe, I don't feel like I pass enough, and I'm still not done with voice training (although I'm really close).
• I'm a better follower than a leader. At my old job, my boss would always be there to help if I was unsure, but in this role, I'd be the boss. I'd have to come up with the articles; I'd have to delegate to others; I'd have no one to fall back on if things go wrong. I feel like I'm technically qualified, but not really.

It's very rare for jobs in my field to get posted locally. It feels like a cruel joke that a listing popped up during a big political and personal crossroads where I really don't want to be making big risky life decisions. But I don't want to have regrets either way, whether because it takes years for something similar to get posted again or because applying ruined my life in some way.

The insecurity itself does not have to necessarily be of huge concern... If they're going to make driving a car illegal in your state, then your state apparently being located in USA, isn't it impossible to survive without a car there? That would mean that you'll have to move to a different state and that would mean you losing your current job either way, right? Or can you continue in your current town if you not longer cannot drive?

Also the office attire thing... You'll be fine. And you've got your wife to help. Just let her clothe you for work and that's it. You're a woman and therefore you'll be wearing some form of women's attire, and your wife does know well enough how that goes. You being a woman is not really something you can decide on. You wouldn't be able to boymode anyhow without it affecting your work performance negatively.

So, it boils to a more regular job changing insecurity thing... Generally it's better to ignore that, because otherwise nobody would ever get a new workplace. Of course, you can and should try to probe the potential new workplace a bit for their attitudes towards us queer folks. If they've got no problem with trans people, then absolutely do go for it.

Unless, of course, your current workplace is actually just fine. You're saying it's a "dead-end job", but not much more. What's making your current job uncomfortable or unsuitable for you? Why do you want to leave it?

That would mean that you’ll have to move to a different state and that would mean you losing your current job either way, right?

In my current job, I work from home. Since it's WFH, if I had to move states, I'd be able to keep my job, but if I switched to an in-office local job and then had to move, I'd be out of work for a while.

Unless, of course, your current workplace is actually just fine. You’re saying it’s a “dead-end job”, but not much more. What’s making your current job uncomfortable or unsuitable for you? Why do you want to leave it?

My current job is great in a lot of ways. Things are stable, pay is decent, I'm unlikely to be laid off or replaced by AI, it's low-stress, and I have work-life balance, which is rare in my field. But there's no room for promotion, and I've hit the salary cap for my position, so no more raises. It's just not very glamorous, I guess. The subject matter is very technical and I'm bored a lot. In general, it's safe, but not very fulfilling, and I sometimes worry that I'm not amounting to anything in life.

Oh, I forgot to thank you for all the great advice. Your input is very much appreciated 🙂

all in all I personally would keep your remote job if it pays well enough to save a little and get the bills paid. as much as I'd love to say go for the new position, giving up a good remote job while being in an unsafe state is risky, and you sound like you'd like to avoid risk (understandably)

you can always apply, get the interview and ask some hard questions to them. thatll tell you all you need to know about their protections and culture.

as far as clothes go, I just rock high rise skinny jeans and flanels and my body does the rest of the talking. no need to over think it :) just make sure to get pants that hug your waist with a belt!!

good luck, its a hard position to be in. i wish you well

as far as clothes go, I just rock high rise skinny jeans and flanels and my body does the rest of the talking. no need to over think it :) just make sure to get pants that hug your waist with a belt!!

Oh hey I have all those things! I could do sweaters with jeans too. I just don't have, like, skirts and formal dresses and pantsuit type of things, but maybe those could come later. A lot of my dresses, if I wore them at work, I feel like people would think, "Why does she look like a 19th-century vampire?" Definitely agree with keeping things simple 😅

Anyway, thank you for the advice. 🙂 It's not a bad time to be risk-averse. Someday I do want to find more fulfilling work, but if I decide not to apply to this, I'm sure more opportunities will pop up in the coming years. Still definitely mulling things over.

I look at your reasons and they all seem like doubt and fear. I feel like you could use these to argue yourself out of any job.

Don't let fear hold you back. You won't know how great this can be if you don't try.

I believe you can be the person who looks back at this in a year and can't believe how great you did.

I do agree that most of my concerns are probably just doubt and fear holding me back. Under normal circumstances, if it wasn't election season where things could go anywhere, I would want to work through those doubts and apply.

But I do think my concern about the future of my state might be a legitimate barrier? I could be stuck at a job in a newly red state and lose rights, or be out of work for an indefinite amount of time because I had to move to a new state. Things are really bad in states like Florida and Texas and I don't think I could suffer through that just for a job.

You should apply. The only thing you can do at the moment to limit your possible options is to not apply. You can withdrawal your application at any time. You can decline the job if offered.

I too am worried about the upcoming election, but that is not a good reason to not pursue opportunities when they arise.

Yeah, I suppose I'm not committing to it simply by applying, only if I ultimately accept the job. Good point.

You can always leave later if you need to.

Glad for the update! Wish you the best, however that might look! I’d love an update post in a month or two ;)