RetroFed Forum
Your home away from modern life.
would you?!
Post Reply
AuthorMessage
TotallynotJessica lemmy.blahaj.zone TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2024-10-30
Quote

247   Original
wezzzy lemmy.blahaj.zone wezzzy@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2024-02-24
#2 · Quote Reply

I dont think i would alteast not right neaw

2
saltnotsugar lemmy.world saltnotsugar@lemmy.world
Joined: 2025-06-04
#3 · Quote Reply

Tub shark! Tub shark! Killin on the moon due to a legal loophole! TUB SHARK!!!

34
Bryllyg quokk.au Bryllyg@quokk.au
Joined: 2026-08-18
#4 · Quote Reply

I got distracted and pressed my belly button o.o

10
TheGingerNut piefed.blahaj.zone TheGingerNut@piefed.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2026-06-29
#5 · Quote Reply

Presses button. Teleports to the moon. "Whelp, that tracks I guess". Dies of asphyxiation.

23
TheOtterInside piefed.blahaj.zone TheOtterInside@piefed.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2026-05-09
#6 · Quote Reply

Heck yeah I press HARD

5
Leonixster lemmy.blahaj.zone Leonixster@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2025-05-04
#7 · Quote Reply

Girl I'm not even trans and even I would

19
guenivere lemmy.blahaj.zone guenivere@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2026-04-10
#8 · Quote Reply

buttonbuttonbuttonPRESSSSSSS

8
AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor piefed.social AbsolutelyNotAVelociraptor@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-06-08
#9 · (edited) Quote Reply

Uh... let's say you pressed the button... more than once. Does the probability raise by 0.01% for each press? And if so, does it cap at 100% or...

Asking for a friend, of course.

10
N.E.P.T.R lemmy.blahaj.zone Neptr@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2024-11-20
#10 · Quote Reply

Presses button. Teleports to the moon. "Whelp, that tracks I guess". Dies of asphyxiation.

.. by choking on a shark

16
torrigan piefed.social chewables@piefed.social
Joined: 2025-06-04
#11 · Quote Reply

Uh... let's say you pressed the button... more than once. Does the probability raise by 0.01% for each press? And if so, does it cap at 100% or... Asking for a friend, of course.

where would you even store all those bodies

17
🦄🦄🦄 feddit.org Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.org
Joined: 2024-06-24
#12 · Quote Reply

Girl I'm not even trans and even I would
[removed by moderator]
14
Schiffsmädchenjunge sh.itjust.works Shipgirlboy@sh.itjust.works
Joined: 2024-04-12
#13 · Quote Reply

.. by choking on a shark

Fun fact: Male sharks have two penises.

10
Hugucinogens lemmy.blahaj.zone Daxter101@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2023-06-20
#14 · Quote Reply

Fun fact: Male sharks have two penises.

Took me a second

4
Malgas beehaw.org Malgas@beehaw.org
Joined: 2023-06-09
#15 · Quote Reply

[removed by moderator]

I mean, cis folks can have ideal bodies that don't match their own, too. That's most of the reason people talk about unrealistic beauty standards in media.

But now I'm wondering, if a severely uncracked egg pressed the button, expecting a "better" body matching their agab, would they get that, or the mother of all forced egg cracks?

16
renamon_silver lemmy.wtf renamon_silver@lemmy.wtf
Joined: 2025-03-10
#16 · Quote Reply

Your finger misses the button. (Critical failure)

3
TeaWithDani lemmy.world TeaWithDani@lemmy.world
Joined: 2026-07-24
#17 · Quote Reply

Hey! Nothing happened? .... Oh :)

5
snoons piefed.ca snoons@piefed.ca
Joined: 2026-06-20
#18 · Quote Reply

Presses button. Teleports to the moon. "Whelp, that tracks I guess". Dies of asphyxiation.

I'd be fine. My ideal body is an interstellar spaceship with at least one toaster oven.

2
Smaile lemmy.ca Smaile@lemmy.ca
Joined: 2026-01-28
#19 · (edited) Quote Reply

(Me thinking about gains)

(clocks what sub I'm oh)

Oh lul

13
yoriaiko lemmy.blahaj.zone yoriaiko@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2025-03-10
#20 · Quote Reply

Does that include Blahaj?

10
HuePony lemmy.ml HuePony@lemmy.ml
Joined: 2026-02-10
#21 · Quote Reply

where would you even store all those bodies

Eat them of course. Don't you know that meat cost much

4
binarytobis lemmy.world binarytobis@lemmy.world
Joined: 2025-06-30
#22 · Quote Reply

Tub shark! Tub shark! Killin on the moon due to a legal loophole! TUB SHARK!!!

Glass shark!

3
Azura The Spellkissed lemmy.blahaj.zone AzuraTheSpellkissed@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2026-03-30
#23 · Quote Reply

I mean, cis folks can have ideal bodies that don't match their own, too. That's most of the reason people talk about unrealistic beauty standards in media. But now I'm wondering, if a severely uncracked egg pressed the button, expecting a "better" body matching their agab, would they get that, or the mother of all forced egg cracks?

Well I would be impolite and possibly harmful if the button disrespected the prime egg directive

3
Leonixster lemmy.blahaj.zone Leonixster@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2025-05-04
#24 · Quote Reply

[removed by moderator]

If I'm trans, you're gonna have to wait a hell of a lot longer than 1 year, cause I'm very comfortable with my gender

4
WorldsDumbestMan lemmy.today WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
Joined: 2024-12-05
#25 · Quote Reply

I get to be made of plasteel and lobotized. Death does not scare me anymore.

3
TotallynotJessica Moderator TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2024-10-30
#26 · Quote Reply

Uh... let's say you pressed the button... more than once. Does the probability raise by 0.01% for each press? And if so, does it cap at 100% or... Asking for a friend, of course.

It'd have a natural cooldown as once you get your ideal body you won't need to press it again unless your ideal body changes. In that case, it would raise 0.01% for each press. If it goes over 100% there is a chance for another shark to attack at the same time

2
TotallynotJessica Moderator TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2024-10-30
#27 · Quote Reply

Does that include Blahaj?

killed by blahaj

7
unidentifiedfelineobject lemmy.blahaj.zone unidentifiedfelineobject@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2026-09-05
#28 · Quote Reply

if that's how I'm meant to die, so be it

5
Mk23simp lemmy.blahaj.zone Mk23simp@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2023-07-20
#29 · Quote Reply

Blahaj!

8
TotallynotJessica Moderator TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2024-10-30
#30 · Quote Reply

Blahaj!

8
Jankatarch lemmy.world Jankatarch@lemmy.world
Joined: 2024-07-12
#31 · (edited) Quote Reply

"On the moon" as in the moon moon, or as in moonshine? I will press either way, just curious.

3
LordKitsuna lemmy.world LordKitsuna@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-06-22
#32 · Quote Reply

Does the button magically know what my ideal body would be? Like what if I don't know what I would want from an ideal body? Or what if what I think would be an ideal body turns out to be incorrect once I have it? Does the button know these things or is it relying on me knowing?

4
TotallynotJessica Moderator TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2024-10-30
#33 · Quote Reply

"On the moon" as in the moon moon, or as in moonshine? I will press either way, just curious.

On the actual moon

2
TotallynotJessica Moderator TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2024-10-30
#34 · Quote Reply

Does the button magically know what my ideal body would be? Like what if I don't know what I would want from an ideal body? Or what if what I think would be an ideal body turns out to be incorrect once I have it? Does the button know these things or is it relying on me knowing?

:3

3
yoriaiko lemmy.blahaj.zone yoriaiko@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2025-03-10
#35 · Quote Reply

killed by blahaj

Death by

Spoiler

cuddle

6
FenrirIII lemmy.world FenrirIII@lemmy.world
Joined: 2023-12-05
#36 · Quote Reply

Glass shark!

I also had this fear

2
wezzzy lemmy.blahaj.zone wezzzy@lemmy.blahaj.zone
Joined: 2024-02-24
#37 · Quote Reply

Does the button magically know what my ideal body would be? Like what if I don't know what I would want from an ideal body? Or what if what I think would be an ideal body turns out to be incorrect once I have it? Does the button know these things or is it relying on me knowing?

I think it knows what body would make you the happyest

1
Post Reply
Back to top