That's completely fine, we don't want that person. You're being reasonable.

Parable of the sower, maybe. Different preferences.

Sure, and I can identify an asshole, but still. I keep running into this problem where there's someone doing a knee-jerk vehement reaction to the very mention of Lemmy or other alt-social media. This disrupts a friendly response to someone who says they don't like reddit. I like to defend when I hear misinformation being spread but the problem is the second you defend, you place yourself on the defensive, and suddenly put the burden of proof on yourself in the discussion.

It's honestly a balancing act and I would love to read someone's study on this stuff if it wasn't so frustrating in the moment

I had to look this up but I see what your saying. Maybe not the right soil to "plant my seed in" too many rocks in this plot

I tend to have better exchanges with people when I ask if they have heard of it first. Then I try to phrase my point of view as my experience and/or my opinion. This has helped me. Might not work for you though. Every personality is unique.

Tbh I think you might be over-defending/hyping things. Usually a single short comment about why you like something is going to win more people over than trying to suggest why others would like it.

Emotional personal experiences can't be argued with, whereas statements about the worth of something in general can be.

That person is also probably not going to change their mind though, so don't over think it 😄

also, possibly a username problem ...

almost like bots being triggered by key words like Lemmy?

And typically, the only people who say this are the ones who cause the most problems.

Just say you like Lemmy because it’s like earlier Reddit, smaller communities, more organic, and doesn’t have any corporate control / censorship

Sounds like that user may have been a dick and ran afoul of a mod…?

Also, for them to portray the moderating experience of lemmy as worse than Reddit is… uh… fascinating.

Note that the person you were talking to isn't the person arguing. For all you know, Life_Ad3567 may already be here.

But also, you should see the absolute communist terrorist Nazi mods over on ich_iel when you spell it Ich_iel in your post title.

You just plant. All sowers have lessons. Teaching is learning, learning is teaching.

Lmao, I didn't even take that in until you said something. I guess username checked out at least 😂

Fair, fair

Very smart way to phrase that, short and sweet

Never considered it. I suppose bots really could be at that level of complexity, huh?

Lmfao

"Lemmy" can be terrible because everyone who was IP banned from Reddit made a Lemmy account and a raw unmoderated Lemmy feed is truly insufferable on a level Reddit never came close to.

There are good instances out there with good mods so I recommend suggesting one of those. I'm not going to suggest any here because you're already on Lemmy and the whole point is to find one that suits your style, not mine.

They wrote, not recommending even one instance with good mods.

Wow thanks for making my point

Additionally, the person you're talking to is almost never the majority audience. Even if they disagree, some other reading that might give it a chance

If someone reacts to what you say, don't react with more reaction. It just gives an excuse not to change, which is ultimately the goal of most people deep down. You acted as a poor reflection of Lemmy to a non-Lemmy user. Forget right and wrong, say less, people are people, what would you want to hear in the other persons situation?

I got a couple of the medallions

Think its unfair to say they acted as a poor reflection. They acted like a normal human being imo. Any other way would just come across "holier than thou".

The bottom line is ultimately just that some people want to complain about sitting in shit, whilst doing absolutely nothing to get out of the shit

He could've said it better, he was engaging with someone who was upset. No way that person doesn't get defensive when a two sentence reply gets two paragraph-looking replies. It was like walking up to a crying child and correcting their issues instead of just giving them some candy. Anyone on Lemmy wants to be here, we shouldn't assume that's true of everyone looking to leave Reddit too. We're supposed to be independent, Lemmy should just be one offering of many to those looking to leave.

Not wrong, I've noticed several very sweaty, vindictive Lemmy mods.

I mean sure, but you also have u/pugjesus

Creepy

There are shitty mods on lemmy too, but there are also, I suspect, some people (though some might not even be people) who are just extremely hostile to anything Fediverse.

Some of them might just be too dumb or lazy to learn how to set the scope of their filters when looking for communities, so they only see their own instance and think it's kind of a dead place, but I suspect a lot of them also argue in bad faith and generally just go out of their way to trash anything they see as a potential reddit competitor whether it's legitimate criticism or not.

This is why I view the learning curve that come with using federated platforms as a nice built in filter that stops a decent number of idiots from staying here.

Just takes one power trippin' bastard to ruin somebodies experience.

🍯

True but the whole point of Lemmy is that you choose your moderation experience.

They're right though, the active communities here are modded mostly by extremists and people who love echo chambers.

For one, we're way past the necessary level of complexity for bots to do that, many months now. If any even slightly large corporation wants to, they can easily and cheaply spin up chatbots to do that.

On the other hand, I wouldn't instantly chalk it up to bots, simply because there's many many people, who comment backwards reactionary shit they don't understand, just to feel better themselves. And few things are more satisfying to such people, than dunking on the new-and-alternative thing.

It's a very pleasant thing, to feel content that you've made the right choices, and don't need to change anything.

IMO the strongest argument here is simply that Lemmy has mod logs while Reddit moderation is opaque and more automated, because those are verifiable facts. Any comparison of the quality of moderation itself is necessarily going to be subjective and anecdotal, in part because Reddit and its mods actively prevent objective evaluation to sweep their crap under the rug.

we want the people looking for it

easy growth kills culture

i generally don’t like gatekeeping but lowest effort really is a different game

I came here from Reddit. Helped to mod a community on there, one of a team of about a dozen and it took about an hour a day, just a constant onslaught of offenders. Also was invited to help with another but I was not hardcore enough in a politically correct way, not heavy handed enough for them, they wanted a very safe space. Reddit is huge so there is some of everything but overall moderation is more heavy handed & micromanagey.

I mod a slow but active community here. 3 years I think, and less than one report per year. People are mostly so nice or at least funny enough when they aren't, almost no reports, almost no moderation needed. Not one off topic post, even. It's a dream.

Yes, reddit is a cult, the hivemind aint called the hivemind for nothing.

Thought terminating cliches?

In group out group dynamics?

Its a cult, spend your time on other things.

Non zero chance theres a bot network set up to do precisely the behavior you are encountering, triggers upon mention of lemmy.

Reddit is well known to have been host to many, many other botnets doing the same kinds of shit and worse... there are entire guidebooks on how to drown discussions in bullshit and drama, how to divide communities into factions based around a popularity contest between the most well known members, who will then experience a manufactured kerfuffle, etc, how to manufacture a two sided conflict and 'conclude' it back along the lines of a 'sensible' compromise/middle ground, etc.

You might try asking jordanlund about it, seeing as he has a decade of experience being a corpo social media manager for Adobe, on reddit.

(That last part is a joke, i doubt he would respond well to that line of questioning lol)

Well, we did. But he gone now :(

Thanks for fighting the good fight! A couple of thoughts from a former greasy salesman:

A) Are you meeting what OP needs or wants? OP says they're trying to quit reddit because they're wasting their life there. If they're trying to quit social media, not sure recommending a different style of social media is going to help.

B) Probably best to come in ready for typical responses e.g., "there's no content!" "Too many crazies" (say what you will, until you learn to avoid .ml etc, the fediverse can really suck for the vast majority of "normal" folks.)

C) Maybe have good examples of communities, instances or whatever that you want to recommend. Being able to point to concrete examples etc always helps!

Good luck!

Oh no what happened??

Who was one of those vindictive mods

I think a certain front end showed that isn't always the case

I just stopped going on reddit at all, much happier now

The way you said it was perfect imo

a raw unmoderated Lemmy feed is truly insufferable on a level Reddit never came close to.

Oh? I don't really understand much about default lemmy feeds

I've seen some crap over here on Lemmy.

I think it's better than reddit.

:shrug: