Good god this is absolute peak comedy

So is this implying that ICE is OK with same sex dating, or that there are no female ICE agents?

they might need to follow fbi's lead on relaxing hiring standards. then they can just keep it 'in house'

While this is pretty funny, there's also this horrifying detail at the end of the article:

What’s likely more of a risk for undocumented individuals is face recognition and commercial ad data. ICE officers can feed a photo of anyone into a facial recognition app called “Mobile Fortify,” monitor social media with apps like SocialNet, and look at vast troves of commercially available location data without a warrant. One surveillance app that includes ICE on its client list is Penlink’s Webloc, a tool which can pull advertising geolocation data for entire neighborhoods and search through photos to locate individuals with face recognition. Penlink explicitly advertises one of its data sources as Tinder. In May, Politico reported that ICE published a request for information (indicating interest in a vendor) to expand use of “commercial Big Data and Ad Tech providers” in investigations.

Oh, no, they both have very different ideas of what to do to a dog.

Does it need to be one or the other?

Facial recognition is why I don't attend any political activity without being in costume head-to-toe.

Yeah, you gotta suck eachother's. At least that's what I would do in a situation like that. Or any other situation too. It feels great. So do it.

Rfk has joined the chat

I feel the Onion is behind the times.

"We hired you because we knew you were cronically unfuckable. Now that you have a taste of confidence and a good paycheck, we can't have some broad giving you a reason to question your role in the gestapo."

Who needs dates when they just rape everyone they want to.

Such a great way to make them suffer. Very good idea. More please.

Imagine, hiring entirely incels and then telling them beware of women willing to date them.

I love the article's description of trad wives:

"...conservative women who dress like the women in The Sound of Music, but without the opposition to the Anschluss."

Yes

Frustrated and angry force, now more frustrated and angrier.

Don't forget stupid. And they're now armed and authorized to used deadly force.

Incels believe that they deserve women, so they can be easily tricked by any woman who is willing to play along.

And of course, when they are inevitably tricked, that just reinforces their beliefs. They are unable to realize that the root cause is their own beliefs and behavior. If they were able to think rationally, they wouldn't identify as an incel in the first place.

I guess this is why Kash Patel needs to get that bestiality stuff passed.

That's not what's going on here.

It's about women who hate ICE, dating agents, to get inside information for doxing agents and leaking intel on operations.

Incels, Cowards, Embarrassments

This is the same FBI that is now overlooking incidents of bestiality in applicants, as of this week.

“I’m trying to understand why you did this,” [Republican Senator John] Kennedy told Patel. “We’re having a tough time attracting agents, good quality agents we all can trust … Why would you even get into bestiality?”

Patel said the change was recommended to him after he saw various “cases” in which qualified FBI applicants were denied consideration because they had been forced into bestiality as a result of human trafficking.

Ngl, I had a very confused hold the fuck up, what the hell are you even saying second there. Apparently I am not alone:

“I say this with respect to the person who recommended it, why didn’t you just say: ‘What planet did you parachute in from?’” Kennedy replied.

And all this in the same week. Coincidence? 🤔

“Seriously, can you imagine a woman wanting to be seen dead with you, much less alive?? Have you seen yourselves recently? You’re all dressed like CoD cosplayers who only left their mom’s apartment last week!”

Mr. Laurio, never trust a beautiful woman, especially if she's interested in you

ICE is the new proud bois.

“The tactic is intended to generate public embarrassment and deter immigration enforcement activity,” the FBI added. It did not provide any specifics on where or when it observed the supposed doxxing operation, and conceded all information in the memo was “not finally evaluated intelligence.”

The origin of the warning may well be a thinly sourced January 2026 post by the New York Post, which cited two TikTok posts from women stating they were using dating apps to identify ICE agents, as well as a single post by another female user urging gay men on Grindr to do the same. That post itself was inspired by another post from LibsOfTikTok, a homophobic and racist account that is ultra-popular with conservatives. The FBI wrote in the memo its information came from a “collaborative source.”

So a couple of people on the Internet joked about this and the FBI took it seriously.

That's good advice.

You KNOW you're behaving crazily when even Senator Foghorn Leghorn is dunking on you like that!

I'm betting the missing piece of the puzzle is just men and women going on dates, and at some point the guy admits to being in ICE, and the woman leaves and posts about it on social media, as you do after a bad date.

The Oversteegen sisters have entered the chat

what he could add is, if the beuatiful woman is more attractive than you are to be exact.

you mean keep it in the dog house. also farm animals too.

Kash knows exactly what to do with dogs, right down to each breed.

the current administration is the most the most paranoid about public perception, they need to show they have no weakness.

I mean, unless ICE agents are active war thunder players, women are the biggest threat when it comes to leaked intel

True for fascists in general.

...also social media, come to think of it. That's not a worrying connection at all.

No it seems they were the ones joking. Poorly

Ah yes, I remember how there were women who lured SS officers to their death this way during the second world war.

Nice to see this technique has not been forgotten.

It's called catfishing and they were VICTIMS!

ICE ain't got no intelligence to leaki!

"Dog breeds? I sure hope it does" -Kash, on all fours

Anyone wanting to date an ICEhole is a piece of shit, fucked in the head, or someone who wants to compromise them. And I'm happy that's their only choice, because it's the least they deserve.

Wow my last post is a lot more fucked up than it was funny and actually has me wondering : What if they started doing forced conscription for the "for-life," prisoners or prisoners on death row to be ICE Agents?

Freddie Oversteegen for the win.

(note to self: I should insert a few of these names into my flashcard deck)

Look up Oskar Dirlewanger and his group in the Nazis... They literally had murderers in their ranks

FBI added to this same warning, but animals too, instead of just women. /s

There has been a ton of stories lately of women targeting ICE agents and getting valuable intel on their operations which they pass along to anti-ice organizations, or working to out them to the public and reveal their identity.

How far have we come from 2000's Hollywood movies bigging FBI up