Weirdest for sure would be the contents of my journals. For a while during and after the pandemic I wrote a lot of entries very altered and I've also written a lot of entries at the top of some pretty spectacular manic episodes and the bottom of some very dark holes. I can't read them myself because they make me seem quite insane.

Most unexplainable would be a 50 alliance credit note from the Firefly/Serenity universe. They were produced by a gaggle of nerds and exact down to the paper, which is a semi-transparent nylon blend. I was given 300 credits in mixed bills as a joke from someone I had a one night stand with as payment for services rendered, but I've given them out to various fans of the show I've met over the 20 or so years they've been in my possession. If you weren't a mega fan of the show though, they would look like money from some obscure Asian country.

I fear typing it out would put me on a list ._.

My journals.

On an unrelated note, how does one dispose of a sexdoll? Asking for a friend. 🤷‍♀️

I have four big black bins in my closet, full of… adult stuff I think those would definitely qualify. Maybe the foxtails, or my hot pink bunny mask, I’ve got a bunch of weird costumes that would raise eyebrows

Nice try, feds... Just kidding, I think my place would be pretty boring, actually.

Also I have no idea who would be sorting through my stuff. I'm what's called a "solo ager". I imagine that the first thing to go deliquent would be property taxes. So maybe some city worker that prepares houses to be auctioned or something? Or maybe they don't bother with that and whoever buys my place from auction will be the ones to deal with it?

In my younger years I was a really bad pack rat but I've been pretty successful in getting rid of things (mostly donating it). I always wondered why my grandparents had such barren houses. They weren't rich but they weren't poor. But I did a decent amount of traveling for work with a single carry-on and realized how little I actually need or care about anymore. So the stuff I have is basically utilitarian now. Stuff I don't use is just more to clean and maybe someone else could benefit from it. Even have spare room in my storage shed and I can access everything, which felt like a major accomplishment.

Nah those are perfectly explainable. U jus freaky like dat

Double casket? 😉

Teeth. Or did I get rid of them? I hope I did. They're my kid's baby teeth. I found them in a wee box when I moved a while ago, I hope I got rid of them 😱.

My family are all pretty used to my esoteric magpie habits, but if it was a rando person and assuming my friends came through on their promises about the box in my closet that needs to be burnt before anyone else sees it... there are a lot of options. It's a six-way tie between the box of 2' long molybdenum disilicide foundry heating elements, the remilled RPG-7 (anniversary gift), the 11 steamer trunks, the 16' paper mache snake (I don't actually know where that came from), the fusion reactor or the signed first edition of Uncle Fester's "Silent Death".

(Honerable mention goes to the weirdly high number of harpoons that are just scattered around)

An antique magic wand made of carved oak and opals, I keep locked in an antique wooden case in the top / back of my closet. The entire reason I keep it there like that, is so that when I die, someone will find it.

The amount of log. The pictures, the journals, the dedicated web apps to keep track of things... It would be too much work to sort through and would go to waste, I'm sure. That's why I've started a new habit of "making things usable". When I die, would someone be able to go through my stuff, search in it, find the bits that are interesting?

Honestly, my network and server.

I am self learned so i often come up with my own creative solutions instead of knowing about a common standard. I can’t imagine anyone but me could maintain it.

In a previous iteration of my server i bent over backwards to make sure /home did not contain any user folders and instead only the mount points to numerous drives. Why? Inexplicably even if you do consider autism.

I have a couple guns and of course ammo that corresponds. (No kids have access to the residence). The thing I've noticed though is that I do have a couple rounds that aren't for the guns I currently own. So if I died and someone went through my house they would probably be confused trying to find some hidden gun that corresponds to those. 1 of the rounds I actually just found laying on the floor after I moved in, so it wasn't even mine. I should really find someone to give them too so I dont leave someone panicked about moving a new resident in and thinking a kid may find the "missing" guns.

A military medal that was awarded to me.

I have never been a member of any nation’s armed forces.

Maybe the random junk I keep for crafting.
It was yesterday when I cut up a disposable container's lid to keep a flat 4inch round see-through part. (I was thinking about using it as a base for fridge magnets - I can attach felt and embroidery to it)
I could just buy a big sheet of foamcore from dollar store, but no: random junk it is!

The massive horse dildo may be a bit of an head scratcher, though knowing me - maybe not that surprising thing to find.

Probably the bones

either a finger made out of wood or soviet mortar shell

The USB in the safe, it'll give access to the password manager. The possibilities are endless after that I suppose and could continue to grow until such day.

Not even a joke for me. But it's a bone, singular.

Long story short: I picked it up from a jungle floor in Kenya. No clue what animal it belonged to. Also no idea how there was no issue taking it back home... Anyway, it's on display.

It's 100% the entire contents of the box I keep physical porn and sex toys in.

I need the story now

Nice try, CIA guy, how about you come on down and see it for yourself if you really must know.

Imagine their entire family has no idea where the medal came from, but like 12 random people on the internet have the full story.

My family probably wouldn't be surprised about anything I own. They know the kind of guy I am.

A stranger might be a bit concerned about a certain wooden chest in my dining room. Large enough to fit an adult man (yes, we tried) but filled to the brim with swords, axes, pieces of armor and a 3 foot wooden spoon.

Edit: second place to a glittery pink princess themed friendship book filled with entries from adult millennials who like retro games, horror movies and metal.

I think you can find something better to scratch your head with...

Similar for me: two challenge coins of units that did not officially exist (at that time).

My girlfriend's wisdom teeth, along with two of mine.

I used to collect animal bones in my hometown, where hunters carelessly tossed what they didn't want behind nearby train tracks. Found a whole boar skin once, but only took home little knuckle bones. I might still have them somewhere.

I have a deer skull on my shelf, but I think most people would overlook that. Human teeth left in storage among other junk? Not so much.

Ball gag

You sound like me.

The few dozen communist books I have

It’s not really that exciting, in retrospect:

I used to work for a charity doing construction in disaster areas; building schools, medical centres, plumbing etc. We’d turn up after wars, floods, earth quakes and other stuff like that. Most of us were single men, with zero attachments or responsibilities, so we took the more (potentially) dangerous jobs out there - purely for the adrenaline and the madness.

On arrival in the country a car load of us traveled 100km-ish away from the capital to scout the location we’d be at. After a day or two there we discovered that the situation on the ground really didn’t match the information we’d been given. A rebel army, of sorts, (maybe a militia, more accurately) had regrouped and were coming back towards us. As we were, uh, not local then there was the potential for some kidnapping - or worse - type shenanigans.

Me, 2 colleagues and our fixer (and his mother) decided to get out of there immediately. We “swapped” the charity’s car for a battered Toyota and some local clothes from our fixer’s uncle. (I’m sure he had about 600 uncles in total…)

We encountered a four man forward operations group of the proper army on the road. They asked us to follow them and detour to a village and help evacuate a group of people. We got there, “borrowed” a coach, loaded it up and then we got out of there, quick sharp. Zero incidents.

I don’t think we got the medal for bravery, as such, but more for a lack of cowardice and just doing the right thing when we really could’ve just fucked-off straight to the capital and boarded a plane out of there.

I didn’t mention it when I got back home because if I did it would just look like I was glazing myself - or lying.

I think people would be surprised if they didnt find those in my hoard

Depends on who was going through my stuff!

I have a ton of unique 3d printed firearms. They are legal for me to make and own where I live, but I can't legally sell them or give them away so they have just accumulated over the years haha

It’s not really that exciting,

Mate. That's exciting as fuck.

I'm the guy in the office people come to when they need something.
Ibuprofen? Got it. Superglue? Got it. Change for the vending machine? Yup. I keep the change in an envelope I've labeled "petty cash". Inside that envelope , I have a smaller envelope that I've labeled "mad money". I have about $27 worth of Monopoly money in that one.

I think you mean we have, comrade.

There is a shiny brass plaque with an inscription engraved, and it says "Prof. Dr.. .." and my full name.

But that title is wrong. In truth I have never received any academic honors.

Now, in case it is not my close relatives who must go through my stuff, they might not know that it was just a little fun from my sister... :)

I do share when I can, but usually I just send links to online resources and books as that's typically easier for most people.

Hmmm. Probably a (real) human spine (not my own).

A tiny clay penis made by my best friend years ago.

Literally saved peoples lives, "a bit boring, honest!". I want to see what exciting is to them...

A butt plug with my keys in it.

The riding crop and the little rock with two eyes painted on it.

I think we ran on adrenaline, fear, and cigarettes for about seven / eight hours… numb, in a kind of autopilot. Apart from the pressure of a fighting force that we never actually encountered it was like a really aggressive hitchhike ride through some extremely gnarly terrain in an underdeveloped country. It sounds far more exciting, and heroic, than it genuinely was.

But, yeah, between you and me I do think it was a cool as fuck thing to do - and survive…

Doubling other commenter. This absolutely is insane and cool and worthy of a medal.

My kink equipment. Maybe my journal if they choose to snoop in it.

Firefly was 20 or so years ago?! ... oh yeah, wow, it was

...was it ethically sourced, at least?