My current freezer/fridge is over 20 years old, and has never needed a firmware update.

Am I missing out? It keeps the food cold, which is all I want it to do.

But what if it kept your food cold sometimes and sold information on what you ate to advertisers? Wouldn't that be worth the occasional spoilage of a week's worth of groceries?

Am I missing out? It keeps the food cold, which is all I want it to do.

You need to get with the times! You're missing out on being presented with valuable products and services every time to go to your fridge! This doesn't just help you, it also helps struggling appliance manufacturers like Samsung , who really need that advertising revenue to stay afloat in these tough times.

Yikes. Just fucking yikes.

I mean... maybe?

I'll do it! I'll do it for Samsung. After all they've done for me, it's the least I can do!

Why, I remember when I bought a new Samsung laser printer and five years later they stopped making new toner cartridges for it. That's gotta be be worth, somthin', ain't it?

Let's vibe code the thing that keeps our food edible. What could go wrong?

I have a rare few devices that are “smart”. Automatic update is disabled if possible, and the “phone home” requests are blocked on the LAN.

They work just fine.

It might also sometimes crawl a bunch of web pages or code repositories on behalf of some AI company so the site operators can't effectively block them. Surely that's a benefit worth sacrificing some food for!

It keeps the food cold, which is all I want it to do.

You don't want to do karaoke duets with your fridge?

Why would a fridge need firmware?

I would honestly rather just not own a fridge than put up with that.

I have done it before when living in a shared house because people stole stuff in the kitchen fridges. So I only kept food in my room and didn't have a fridge in there.

Not so smart owners.

To run the processor.