I hate that I'm at the point where I just want to go out and mess around with the first girl that will let me just out of spite. I want to go out and use and be used just to hurt her, knowing I'd be thinking of her the entire time and therefore hurting myself as well. I just want to be wanted, by someone - anyone... By her

I just want this pain to end

Ah yes, I remember you from earlier in the week! How are you doing?

The end of relationships suuuuck. Everyone deals with it differently. Whatever you're feeling is valid, but there's a time to recognise negativity and use it to focus on bettering yourself.

You can do this. The pain will get less intense every day.

Fingers crossed for you sista!

Breakups are awful. I'm sorry.

My totally subjective experience and totally not toxic advice would be to actually go through with it and fuck someone else. At least for me that clears the head of "Oh no, this will always be how I am feeling from now on" I get after a serious relationship.

Regardless, I hope you will be feeling better soon <3