My wife's family is wild, they told my sister in law that they found her in a dumpster

Same here, but they said it as a joke you know...

Well duh, once you get born you get sent to the kids planet. Then you get distributed from there to your parents.

Mummy, how does the baby get out of your tummy?

Same way it went in.

your mom and 5 people + a lot of screaming

Your uncle working the camcorder

One time I was chatting with an old neighbor and he asked me if I wanted to see pictures of his kids when they were born. I said "yes" because who wouldn't say yes to that.

What he actually meant was, "Do you want to see pictures of my kids while they were in the process of being born. That was quite the surprise.

Since then, I've witnessed the births of my own children and at no point in that process was I thinking, "Oh, I better get some pictures of this."