Weird things have been happening... AGAIN!

I am fully aware that what I am about to say is going to sound both stupid and insane. But it literally just happened to me, and I have to share it somewhere. Kind of gross stuff ahead. You have been warned.

So, I haven't been able to defecate for like two days, and now that I did, it was just one small log. But that isn't the weird part. The weird part is that it had a face on it. A real ugly one too. Like a crusty turd baby. Damn. I should've taken a picture. I literally had my phone with me in the bathroom. But it would be weird to photograph a strange looking turd and show it off to strangers on the internet and not a doctor. So I am kind of glad I didn't take a picture.

The second weird thing that happened is that I coughed up a maggot. And I think it was still alive too. The picture in the post is NOT of the said maggot, just a photo I found on the interwebs.

So, either strange things are happening once again, or I have undiagnosed schizophrenia. Or, a secred third option? YOU be the judge! Because, apparently, I am no longer a reliable narrator. That's a weird feeling...

Dude, you're turning zombie

I'm fine.

Zombies aren't real. Not the Hollywood kind anyway.