Here's the concept: instead of things you want to do before you die (AKA the Bucket List), I'm thinking about creating a Fuck It List, of things I want to never have to do again.

If you were doing so, what would you put on your list.

I was hanging out with a retired former coworker last weekend, and she got in my head. I have at least 11 years to go, assuming I'm able to retire, so it's not realistic now. But what is life without hopes and dreams?

So far, all I have on the list is:

Having time for a quick chat with my manager.

I will rejoice when I don't have to do that again.

Mow a lawn, bonus: rake leaves

Do my taxes. I'm happy to pay, but fuck... you know the number, just send me the bill.

I'm torn on the yardwork concept.

I don't like it, but I like having a nice yard. Or at least, I did 30 years ago when I had both time and energy to do it.

In the intervening time, I tried paying people to do it, but I was never able to find someone who didn't do a shit job. Now I find myself trying to reclaim parts of my yard that the landscapers let go wild.

My wife had a business for about 15-20 years, so it made sense to pay an accountant to do the work. The business is gone, but we still pay them to deal with our taxes. We send them all the papers, they send back the return with instructions and an invoice.

Going to “work”. I was recently laid off because my company is shutting down. I enjoyed the work we did, it was rewarding and provided a quality service. After being out of work for almost a month, I never want to have a “job” again.

I was able to have an extended visit with my parents who live in another state and aren’t getting any younger , I’ve been able to travel to be with my partner while her mom is dealing with health issues in another state, I dog sat for a friend and got to hang out in her back yard while reading and watching the pups play in the sun all day, I’ve been dabbling in things like drawing and taking improv classes.

I have been regularly employed since before I was 18 and never had more than one week off here or there, except for a few weeks when I moved ten years ago.

I am currently searching for a new job because I live in the US and for some reason we decided tie healthcare to employment but I dread what I end up getting myself into because I was just beginning to find myself again.

Moving. Conceptually, I like the idea of a new setting and all that comes with it, but the actual process of packing, purging, loading up a vehicle, unloading said vehicle, unpacking, etc., etc. — that doesn't even account for the search for a new place, ending/starting utilities, address updates for all our services and subs, workplace, family and friends. It's all so exhausting, physically and mentally.

But my significant other and I likely have at least one more move at this point in our lives, so this remains just a dream for now. When we completed our last move, we agreed that if we could pull it off, we would just hire movers next time.

Movers are definitely worth it. I've done a lot of moves, first myself, then kids, and movers are worth the price.

That was a topic my retired friend mentioned. When she decided to retire, she wasn't sure she wouldn't miss working. So, she took a part time with another group where we work. She did that for a few months, then realized that she didn't miss working. She re-retired and hasn't looked back.

• Submit a resume
• Wear jeans
• Cut my hair short (as in, I want to grow it out a bit. I can see how this might get monkeypawed lmao)
• Use a Sil-V* corporate service
• Deal with a lack of storage space for something, digital or physical

*Silicon Valley

I intend to never get married again. Because that would require my marriage to end in some way.

• Work a front-facing job. General public is a special hell.

• Wear restrictive clothing or a non-self-imposed uniform

• Use corporate social media

I guess my search history is too crunchy granola, because I get ads for clover and microclover seed. They claim you don't need to mow, it's good for pollinators and resists pet urine. If I didn't think my neighbors would complain, I'd make the switch.

D'awww

Always hire movers.

Our last 8 moves were done by pros. Expensive but worth every penny.

This is the way, 100%

Not necessarily, they could legalize polygamy

Manually do my dishes

Let's go with polyamory instead. Human rights are important.

There are no laws I know of against polyamory (loving multiple people). I specified polygamy (marrying multiple people) because there are laws against that. Maybe you're assuming "polygamy" refers to a man with multiple wives? That's polygyny, and a woman with multiple husbands is polyandry, both of which are examples of polygamy.

never had more than one week off here or there

Wat?

I live in the US

That explains it...

You're welcome to hop over the pond if you ever want to combine fulfilling work with proper time off :)

Work, yard work, DMV.

I worked in a kitchen the summer after graduating high school. Overall, the best thing I could say about that job was that it kept me motivated through college.

However, I always found washing the dishes at the end of the night to be a peaceful time of contemplation. The task required no mental effort, so my thoughts were free to wander.

I like all of these.

breathing

We let our lawn die due to drought and water restrictions. Covered it in mulch, and planted native drought resistant shrubs. Not as nice looking, but not bad either. No longer have to mow or rake.

TIL

Well, you have to know these things when you're poly, you know.

dogs. I won't miss the FBI days

Im with you there, but not in a sad bleak way. I love my wife more than anything, but its a lot of work. Right down to the little things like putting my clothes on every day and listening to her vent about her work and shit like that.

If this all blows up in my stupid face and I wind up alone again, I'm just going to stay alone.

Not watching TV shows that have less then 12 episodes in a season. I know there are people that love shorter seasons. I hate them. I can’t get into the show or feel anything when a character dies or people break up or something tragic (at least not on short season shows) .

I’m just about to stop watching new shows. I’ll just wait to see if they get 12 or more shows per season. (Or check Wikipedia if the data is there when the show begins).

Btw I prefer 25+ per season.

Again I know some people don’t want that many per season but give something to those of us that want long seasons.

Do you know what I call a TV show that only has four or six episodes in a season? A miniseries

I am in a different position than you with a completely different experience. My wife and I started dating when she was 15 and I was 16. We've been together 40 years, married for 33.

There is no good way this relationship could end, so I wouldn't want to wonder how that might happen, but one thing I'm sure of is it is the last relationship I'll ever be in. If I was single tomorrow, I'd stay that way. I've had one relationship in my life, and by any measure it is a fantastic one. Nevertheless, it is real work, and I don't have another one in me. The thought of starting over at zero makes me weak.

I was talking to my wife about her serial monogamist Uncle, who changes wives more often than I change cars, and I was wondering how he could find the energy for all the work a relationship requires.

My wife pointed out that my premise was entirely wrong. He can find the energy because he doesn't contribute any effort. He finds a woman dumb or desperate enough to start a relationship with him, then when she gets sick of doing everything for him, he finds a new one. Easy peasy.

I don't mind how many episodes are in a season or how long a series is. I've seen great shows that had a single eight episode season. However, I don't want to watch anything that doesn't have a defined ending. I've been burned too many times when I find a great show only to discover it died in a cliffhanger.

If it's good enough to complete it's entire run and get a proper ending, then I'm interested. I don't want to be on the hook dependant on the whims of the creator or the production company.

I'd like to never have to change a smoke detector battery again. Did that a few days ago. Having to get up on top of a chair to take it down and get it back up is stressful and a bit dangerous