I’m fully aware of the risks. I’d like to keep this on hand as a counter to pepto bismol.

Fake : Salmonella poisoning probably takes longer to take hold
Gay : Anon's friend pooped outside and he watched

Skill issue. I eat entire boxes of those brownies and never have problems except type 2 diabetes.

Feet are overrated anyway.

Enlighten an European: are they raw brownies and you're supposed to bake these before consumption or were they simply spoiled?

They're cooked. They're just sugary and gross.

Just because he said it's called Cosmic Brownies, and there's a picture of Cosmic Brownies, that doesn't mean that he used Cosmic Brownies in the recipe.

As someone whose favorite pastime is gaming, feet are only required for work.

Neither. It was something else. (Likely fake).

If this is real, my guess is it’s a fiber issue. Would definitely be thick and if you aren’t used to eating a bunch of fiber, it’ll really mess up your guts.

Yea my first thought is the chef just mixed cosmic brownies with fiber supplements or something, which would also explain why "they're healthy actually"

I read this as they are inspired by cosmic brownies, not made from them. It wouldn’t be unheard of, but blending an already baked and processed brownie into a drink seems…bad. You asked if they were spoiled, but these type of processed baked goods don’t really spoil like that generally because of all the preservatives.

https://www.littledebbie.com/cosmic-brownies

Anon plays DnD

Cool, a meme I can send to my friend who started playing DnD this year!

"... it's like snakes are in my asshole trying to rip it apart!"

... I can't allow another human's eyeballs to read this

They’re sugary and gross and delicious! I get them twice a year when I go on a trip with my other buddy that likes them.

Don't have to worry about empty calories if you shit them out immediately

Sounds more like Cosmic Horror Brownies

This implies he either burned 25 pounds (assuming 5 pounds of water weight) in a single night or he had 25 pounds of crap in his digestive track, so I'm inclined to believe that anon is full of shit.

Was full of shit

I assumed it was because he used whatever artificial sweetener is in those sugar free haribo gummy bears.

Seems looks a fairly plausible D&D scenario, tbh.

Not anymore dude. Not anymore.

He's playing DnD that's positively pedestrian compared to things he's about to say

Brownie? The cookie thing?

They're not good. But they're supposed to be that way. I've never had anything quite like them outside of the US so it's hard to think of something to compare them to that a European might be familiar with. They're brownies in the same way that French fries are vegetables. Technically... Yeah... But no. They're extremely sweet, taste quite strongly of artificial chocolate which may be a flavor unique to American paletes, and technically resemble a fudgey brownie.

All that to say, this shake did not contain this particular garbage snack.

I suspect what he made was a protein shake with added fiber and artificial sweetener. You can get cosmic brownie flavored protein powder. Protein shakes certainly can have an effect on the gut.

Disagree, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to set up the story this way if he didn't use Cosmic Brownies (TM) in the recipe

To me the implication lacked true follow-up narratively in order to establish factual events dramatically (and thematically) with subsequent witnesses providing additional context. I could be wrong tho

Thanks for the explanation!

Yeah, I baked them from scratch at home and found them good. And knew I should only eat one or two pieces max or get sick from too much sugar and fat.

I guess you could get away with blending a brownie if it's fudgey enough in the center and add a bit of milk or other liquid.