Florida Man completely debilitated after mullet cut off. Files for Disability.

Florida Man attempts to hide evidence of corruption by flooding basement.

Florida man begets arson in neighbouring city after claiming 'it is too gay'

Florida man smacks pet talking donkey, talking donkey explains that it was trying to tell him about the/an invisible angel of death blocking their path.

Florida man besieged by local mob, suggested they rape his virgin daughters instead of his dinner guests.

Florida man harassed by local children for his baldness, summons bears, 42 children killed.

Florida man takes the animals from all islands on the globe and keeps them on a big boat w/o food and water, and later returns them to their devastated lands and they all died.

Levite's concubine. It's actually so fucked up that I had to tone down and oversimplify it to make it just barely fit into a "Florida man" headline.

Florida man offers his daughters to angry mob to protect his buddy

[…] daughters intoxicate, rape him in ensuing chaos

Official subsequently infected with (possibly sexually transmitted) skin disease

Florida man drugged and sexually assaulted by his own daughters.

they were bored, okay?