Looks like a toy, the ancient equivalent of a fidget spinner.

Your mom's butt plug.

They never have any signs of wear, and children are always a destructive force, so this is unlikely.

The broken ones didn't get saved.

Edit: I'm just now remembering the staggering amount of broken and discard pipes and pottery we have in display cases literally everywhere. Nevermind.

Would you put a fidget spinner in with your gold horde, like some of them have been?

Before someone posts it, no, it’s not for knitting; there are solid ones that would have been useless for that and knitting isn’t known to have been present in the Roman Empire.

Idk how many times i have to post this, but it's clearly a prime chaotic resonator. Slot some fossils into that bad boy and craft some good gear!

Craft good gear? Its just a tool to help you delete divines.

Have you ever seen a bronze fidget spinner?

It would be less remarkable to people who grew up with them :p

Archaeologists get a lot of flak for defaulting to ‘it was for religious/ritual purposes’, but I think cult membership/usage might actually be a good explanation. Especially considering the existence of things like cults that think Platonic solids were some kind of sacred knowledge.

If I had a gold hoard, sure, why not.

What do you mean knitting wasn't present in the roman empire? That's slightly less absurd than saying knots didn't exist in the bronze age! Lack of evidence doesnt mean it's not present! There's lots of things we know for sure happened during the roman empire despite no one writing about it, like child baptism in early christianity. We don't know what it looked like, but we know where it happened and that everyone was in agreement about the method.

Fun fact: While these are from the Roman period, they've mostly been found in what were then the provinces of Brittania and Gaul, and none have ever been found in Italy. Which tends to suggest that they're Celtic or Romano-Celtic rather than Roman.

I think the majority of historians agree that flare technology had been invented by then, spurred on by the massive amounts of olive oil in use at the time.

Knitting is a technology, and there isn’t evidence it emerged uniformly throughout the world. Think about the environment that Rome is in; what good is something knitted in a hot Mediterranean climate? We have tons of art and literature documenting weaving, which was very important to Romans, but none of knitting. If you have evidence they had it you should publish it.

It's a cigarette lighter.

I bet it's a massage tool of some sort.

I can't believe this is not known. Its the Continuum Transfunctioner.

A new hand touches the beacon.

Theory: They were masterpieces, in the old meaning

A masterpiece was an item you would craft or something you would do to earn you the rank of Master in your Guild.

This is easy to describe and judge, but hard to make if you aren't experienced.

They put them in their gold hoardes as they were basically their version of a degree

(If you're a metalworker and want to check if you would've earned the rank of Master in an ancient Guild, you can try to make one of these)

When you are feeling under pressure, do something different! Roll up your sleeves or eat an orange.

That feels like a random quote from the "Little Book of Calm"

Yeah, in Yorkshire we still make and use them actually, but I'm not allowed to tell thee what they're for, because of Brexit.

Can't remember if it's the same episode or not, but there's one where Fran tries to figure out what an object is, and in the end it's a lighter.

It’s a very interesting characterization of archaeologists as “defaulting” to something that’s their entire field of study.

Not criticizing; I just thought that was amusing.

And do they get a lot of flack for that? Perhaps you’ve been watching too much Stargate SG1.

Archaeologists study a lot more than ritual spaces, many don’t even have anything to do with that. It’s a joke that archaeologists themselves make, because sometimes people get carried away and use it to explain things they’re unfamiliar with but aren’t ritual related.

Looks like you would need to be a 6 dimensional creature to enjoy being massaged by something like that. Or maybe I'm just looking at this all the wrong way

Stefan Milo on YouTube did a video (likely more) on these things and he debunked that theory somehow or another. I can't watch it right now to remember what he said, at work.

Phone stand

Too small

In case anyone isn't in on the joke, it's a device for circumcising boys

You find the hole of the appropriate diameter, stick his penis in, then spin it as you pull it off and it cuts the foreskin off (the inner edges are sharp)

Isn't this not likely since it wasn't just metalworkers that had them?

I honestly wonder if there was just some autistic metalworker who came up with this weird fucking design and made a million of them like a psychotic dwarf, and then people started to get fascinated and wanted their own. A literal thingamajig that just fascinated people because of how complex and specific it was, and it just became a cultural phenomenon.

I mean, isn't it obvious? It's for winding up string or twine. Clothing thread or fishing line or thin rope..... So many uses!

So like a really old soda can?

This is going to be future archaeologists with all of our electronics.

It's so funny to see people post their theories on this and every time it's already been tested and answered

Or maybe it was the opposite, they were a basic project assigned to beginner metalsmiths to teach them the different skills. That's why they're everywhere, because everyone who went to the Roman equivalent of trade school made, like, 1-3.

Most convincing theory I've seen is that it's a cipher tool.

Oh my god

Probably something silly like the latest hot ticket item at Pier 1 Imports or IKEA or some shit. Y’kno, like the silly bands of their time! 🤪

That's been a common theory for many years but it's between "eeeh, maybe" and debunked.
Here's a tip: don't publicly theorise about things that you have close to no knowledge about. This shouldn't have to be said.

I actually bought the little book of calm because of the show. The lighter is indeed from the same episode, series 1, Episode 1.

That is a very mysterious and powerful device. I've heard its mystery is only exceeded by its power.

Roman fidget spinner

Do you actually have debunktions for it at hand?

Also, it's a meme forum. Why shouldn't people be allowed to spitball here? It's not like they made some absolute claim to truth.

I got this reference

That's unlikely. It seems to have been such a regional thing that I don't think it's that. If it were, you expect it to come from a Roman tradition, or at least be adopted by them, yet these aren't found there.

It's used to calculate firing solutions for ancient Roman cannons. The different sizes equate to the different round types.

Nah, it's a power adapter. Mostly used for ancient Roman defensive tripwires. The larger sizes were used when more current was needed.

Not any worse than gua sha.

And they probably attached some absorbent material to it, choosing a hole size depending on the desired driprate for the medicinal herbs.

It's a flawless theory really.