grows thumbs and a soul crushing job

Hopefully it will get some boobs too

creates a linkedin account

If you understand this joke you have >1 iq

Boom, thrombosis in all eight legs.

I had a spider once move into my shower. I was a bit startled as I was in such a vulnerable state, but I have a long standing appreciation of spiders due to my vehement hatred for mosquitoes. It was a live and let live as long as you don't touch me when I'm naked.

The next day, the spider was still there. It doesn't seem like a great spider house, but I'm not the spider here, so what do I know? I'm sure that spider knows where to get bugs and there's plenty of water. I felt like id pick a spot with a better view, maybe more of an obvious bug supply like a window or something. Again, I deferred to the spider's good judgement.

The third day the spider was still there in the same spot as the day before. I'm thinking we have a lost spider situation here, or something, and that I might have to intervene. I proceed with the patented lightly blowing to encourage movement and nothing.

It was then that I realized that the spider had molted or something and that I had been showering with an empty shell.

Man-Spider