First of all here is a pic one of my cats before getting into things.

Next little bit mentions self harm (didnt do anything dw)

Ok appointment made but after the event as there were no availabilities before then. Rip. Ill figure it out

For what it's worth, I think it's ok to be anxious. Meeting with a bunch of new people at once, is always a vulnerable experience, and the beginning of your transition, is an even more vulnerable one, and those two stack haha

I know it might feel overwhelming, but, at the very least, give yourself that grace, that yeah, it's normal to be overwhelmed. It's ok to roll with it, nothing's wrong with you being insecure at this stage, you'll work it out with time ❤️

You're a good person. You're allowed to feel exhausted and take breaks. It's okay to be a trans woman who doesn't pass.

It probably varies by region, but in my experience mostly people shut up and accept it matter-of-factly that I'm a trans woman simply when I tell them my name (at most there's a confused "can you repeat that?")

I found it helps others if you radiate confidence, but of course there's no secret to it if you cannot (if you can, faking confidence is almost the same as being confident). No "I think I might be...", no "i'm sorry but actually..." Just "of course I am a woman! Yeah, I'm still working on looking the part, I'm so excited! 😇" The others have either already dealt with trans people before (and are likely chill) or they find themselves in a new situation and are unsure how to handle it politely, in which case setting the stage with politeness, respect and happiness is the way to go.

If you think about it, there's not much you need to worry about. Either they are progressive-enough to avoid discriminating you, or they are assholes and you're best of finding out quickly and avoiding them.

Thank you for the cat pic~ ❤️ I wouldn't mind another one. You will do your best and learn along the way, I'm sure you'll handle the meeting just fine!

Thank u a lot ❤️
I often forget its ok to feel these things

Thank u a lot for your advice. That really helps ❤️

Yeah maybe trying to an excited/happy spin on beings trans is the best way, since thats how I actually feel about it.

Also, ask and you shall receive:

2 cats this time :3

Presentation went well at least omg i dont know how i did that

I'm sorry you're feeling anxious and stressed, a lot of trans people go throught the same thoughts and feelings, I know I did at least. The good news is that it gets way easier over time, and having supportive friends are a huge help with the internalised transphobia and it looks like you're making a huge step towards that! So definitely be proud of yourself! You're making a lot of progress towards being in a better place mentally. I hope everything goes well for you

Thank you ❤️

I hope it does get better, I really am trying

That's not "insanely bad" internalized transphobia. I would say it's regular internalized transphobia from what I've seen.

yeah your right, i just felt bad at the time lol.

also that example is crazy, i would never use language to actually imply im not a women

Also the creepy man anxiety reminds me of a thing that happened to me, but I'm not telling that horror story here, it's too terrible.